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Yesterday we asked our readers what some good police Facebook pages are to follow. One that lots of people mentioned was the Bangor, ME Police Department, which somehow has over 160,000 followers!! Thanks for the tip, because this page is hilarious. And one of the first stories we noticed proved something that we’ve been saying for a long time now – a Chicago Bulls flat brimmed baseball hat is quickly becoming the international calling card for the local dooshnozzle who will never, ever leave town. It all started a couple days ago when they posted this:
Of course he did!!! What’s the first thing some lowlife does when they rob a house and take your credit cards? They go right to Lids to find the ugliest Goddamn Chicago Bulls hat they can possibly find. Zero point zero percent chance he took the stickers off either.
Turtleboy is the Bangor, Maine Police Department? I recognize that writing style anywhere.
They’re right about buying a Red Sox hat, but they also could’ve said, “any hat but a Chicago Bulls flat brimmed hat.” Because wearing one of those things is the new saggy pants. Your ass is gonna get profiled if the cops see you rocking one of those things, and rightfully so because you’re probably a failed rapper junkie with a bad Voke-stache. Just check out some of these winners we’ve written about in the last few weeks alone:
All with the same freaking hat. God criminals are dumb. Turtleboy pities the fool who stole a credit card, and the first place they go to is the place with all the cameras. Like they aren’t gonna be following the purchases your dumbass makes with that credit card.
P.S. How are we in 2016 and this is the best quality we can get from a camera?
That looks like 99% of Webster. Seriously, we can get perfectly clear pictures of our reactions on a ride at Disney World but we can’t get a basic polaroid of some dooshnozzle standing perfectly still three feet from a camera.
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