Sports

Banning Boston Marathon Bandits Means The Terrorists Win

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Huffington Post

A man in a white tank top with a big red heart on the front. Another wearing all blue. A woman with clothing from a St. Louis running store and one who printed “Lauren” on her shirt.

They all had one thing in common, though: Boston Marathon bib No. 14285.

Kara Bonneau logged onto the race’s official photo site this week and saw pictures of four other people who ran Monday’s race in copies of the bib she earned — and paid for. She posted those pictures on Instagram and asked for help in identifying the unofficial runners, known as bandits.

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Now the Boston Athletic Association is investigating and the tight-knit running community is asking whether social media are giving new legs to a tradition that is almost as old as the race itself. With runners bragging about their bibs on Instagram, anyone with a computer can find a bib and print a copy, making banditry even easier at the same time that security threats make it more of a concern.

“The BAA does take these matters seriously,” executive director Tom Grilk said Friday while stressing that the bandits went through the same security checkpoints as the official runners.

But there’s another problem with bandits, and it’s the one that makes serious runners chafe like cotton shorts on a cold day: Because Boston requires most runners to meet a qualifying standard, showing up on race day is only part of the feat.

To those who qualified, bib bandits are a sort of modern-day Rosie Ruiz taking a shortcut to the finish line.

“There’s two parts of that marathon: There’s qualifying to get there, and then there’s running it. Anyone can go the 26.2 miles,” said Michael Sullivan, who found another man wearing his bib No. 10055 in the race photos. “Anybody who has strived to run it, or strived to get there, or is a runner who understands how difficult it really is.”

Sullivan said he simply wants them to be exposed: “Their family and friends need to know they cheated,” he said.

It was one thing when runners would merely join the race to see what it would feel like to be part of the Patriots’ Day event. But using a fake bib and getting all the amenities available to the registered runners — including the finisher’s medal — is what “ticks me off,” Sullivan said.

“In my little community, we don’t even wear the race shirts they give us for just registering until after we finish,” he said. “It’s not a life and death thing. . It doesn’t take way from my awesome experience in Boston.

“People who are not runners, they don’t really have that sense of how hard it really is,” Sullivan said. “They say, ‘What’s the big deal?’ I’m on the side of the fence that says, ‘Just do the hard work to get there.'”

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We fought this battle last year and we won in the court of public opinion. Anyone who has a problem with Boston Marathon bandits is a moron. Plain and simple. Bandits have been a Boston tradition since they started implementing elite level qualifying standards. Do you have a penis? Are you under 40 years old? If you answered yes to both of those questions then you better be able to run 26.2 miles in under 3 hours or you’ll never get to run.

Because the standards are so high, thousands of people every year jump in at the end of the race. I’ve done it a few times. You don’t get in anyone’s way and you have to start after all the guy’s dressed as bananas and Santa Clause. Bandits have always been respected by the BAA. They actually give you your own corral and give you the same speech every year. They tell you that they respect this tradition, and that this is YOUR race, but to respect the registered runners by not getting in their way. So you don’t. Problem solved.

The BAA makes thousands of extra medals because it’s better to have too many than not have enough. They never run out of water or gatorade. They never have a lack of emergency services for runners. There’s a reason they’ve let it go on for so long.

But of course Jafar and Timon had to go and ruin that in 2013 with their bombs. Now the BAA has gone overboard with dumbass rules that don’t prevent terrorism, but do prevent local people from participating in a local event.

But make no mistake about it, keeping bandits out doesn’t make anyone safer. Unless of course you think a terrorist plans on strapping a bomb to themselves and marching 26.2 miles from Hopkinton to Boylston Street unnoticed. Only a moron would think that.

Kara Bonneau went and made this a huge deal last year when she went to look at her race pictures and she saw these four people:

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And since she’s a moron carpetbagger from North Carolina she had to make a federal case out of it. Why? No reason really. I mean, it’s not like it affected her at all. She still got to run the race. She still got the medal for finishing. She still got all the amenities along the way.

So why did she freak out because of it? Basically because she’s a moron who lives to enforce rules that no one cares about. Any normal person would see those four bandits using her fake number and laugh out loud. Because it’s funny. But clearly Kara Bonneau isn’t very fun to be around because she whined for the whole world to see and acted like these for were the new Jafar and Timon’s of the marathon. I guess it’s not surprising really. After all, guess where she went to college?

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Duke. That explains so much. Studies have shown that 98% of Duke graduates are assholes.

My biggest objection to changing the rules about Boston Marathon bandits is that you’re letting the terrorists win. The purpose of terrorism is to get people to change their way of living through the use of fear. Bandits are part the Boston Marathon’s history. By taking that away you’re letting the terrorists win.

The fact of the matter is that no one is actually scared of 140 pound bandits in short shorts. This has just become an excuse for self-absorbed dooshnozzles to act like they’re better than everyone else. Because long distance runners are some of the biggest narcissists I’ve ever encountered. They live to put that 26.2 decal on their cars, just so you know how accomplished they are. They love to go running during blizzards because they think you’ll see them and say, “Wow, that guy’s dedicated.”

And they get off on the fact that they’ve qualified for Boston and you didn’t. This is their big time to shine and they don’t want the peons to share the moment with them. Let’s just look at some of the dumbass things this dingleberry Michael Sullivan said in the Huffington Post article:

“There’s two parts of that marathon: There’s qualifying to get there, and then there’s running it. Anyone can go the 26.2 miles,”

Anyone can run 26.2 miles. Ya got that? That’s how delusional dolts like this are. For most normal people it’s the accomplishment of the lifetime to just complete it. But for people like Michael Sullivan it’s like, “bro, how many Boston’s have you run?” Michael Sullivan is one of those guys who runs a 2:40 marathon and thinks he’s hot shit because of it.

Sullivan said he simply wants them to be exposed: “Their family and friends need to know they cheated.”

Yea, you bandits need Michael Sullivan and Kara Bonneau to tell your family and friends that you cheated so you can get your spankings. LOL. Is this guy for real? Hey idiot – their family and friends know they’re running bandit and they don’t give a shit. Because when you’re running 26.2 miles along a public road, your family and friends don’t care if you have a registered number on your shirt.

“Using a fake bib and getting all the amenities available to the registered runners — including the finisher’s medal — is what “ticks me off.”

Yea good point Mikey boy. I mean, they did run out of medals, water, and gatorade last year cuz of the bandits right? Oh wait, you mean they had tons of shit left over? So who gives a fuck? Oh that’s right, Mike Sullivan is one of those dooshnozzles who is so stupid that he thinks a bandit, who just ran 26.2 miles and wears a cheap piece of medal around their neck afterwards, somehow lessens the value of his medal.

Hey numbnuts, I can go down to Guertin’s Trophies and make 100 of those things tomorrow. It’s a worthless medal that’s only meant to make you feel good about yourself. I gave my medal away two years ago after the bombing when I came across some poor guy from Alberta who never got to finish and was wandering the streets of Boston cold, tired, and confused. Because at the end of the day I’m a grown ass man who will never have a reason to walk around with a medal around my neck. Because I’m not some 7th grade projects fair winner.

“People who are not runners, they don’t really have that sense of how hard it really is,” Sullivan said. “They say, ‘What’s the big deal?’ I’m on the side of the fence that says, ‘Just do the hard work to get there.'”

Fuck this guy and the horse he rode in on. You know how you can tell that this guy is an asshat? Because he says stuff like “people who are not runners.” Like being a runner makes you a part of some secret society. Hey jerkweed, I consider myself a runner and I still say, “what’s the big deal?” You don’t speak for all of us.

And “just do the hard work to get there?” What, you think bandits don’t train? You think they just show up and run 26.2 miles for the fuck of it? Oh I’m sorry they’re not tights-wearing dooshnozzles like yourself. They’re just regular people who aren’t blessed with the running ability you are, but still wanna participate in the biggest community event our state has to offer.

Kara Bonneau lives in North Carolina. Gee, I wonder what possible advantage she could have while getting ready for Boston? Maybe it’s the fact that God didn’t dump 20,000 tons of cold white shit on Charlotte this winter. Any Massachusetts resident who figured out a way to fit in 20+ mile runs with the winter we just had deserves the medal of honor.

The bottom line is that Massachusetts residents should have different qualifying times or no qualifying times at all. The majority of people who run are not Bay State residents. They invade our city, force the roads to be shut down, utilize our police and emergency responders, and then leave the next day. But we live here. This race belongs to us. So sit down and shut up about the bandits carpetbaggers.

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12 Comment(s)
  • peter pan
    April 22, 2015 at 8:31 am

    Wow this bitch must’ve looked pretty hard to find 4 people with her bib. I was unaware of these bandits were so prevalent but that is awesome. If you can’t beat em join em.

  • Fist
    April 22, 2015 at 7:35 am

    Eliminate the carpetbaggers! We don’t need you fuckwads in our state! Get back on your side! It’s the Boston Marathon, not the “Elitist- Out-of-State-rabble-thon”.

  • Michael Keating
    April 20, 2015 at 5:49 pm

    My understanding is that the BAA has long wanted to get rid of bandits, but local law enforcement would not cooperate, except to insist that bandits wait until the last official runner has left. That’s what changed after the bombings.

  • jackie
    April 20, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    These scabs are seriously whining about bandits? There’s people starving in foreign country’s you fags go suck a fart out of a school bus seat!!

  • Jesús Montalvo
    April 20, 2015 at 10:25 am

    This has zero to do with terrorism and everything to do with the money, money, money.

  • JayC
    April 20, 2015 at 10:11 am

    First off, I have zero, I mean ZERO desire to run a marathon, ever. I’ll jog between 5k and 10k, mountain bike periodically, water ski, but the long distance stuff is something that I have no interest in, so I don’t have a horse in this race. How about the BAA solve the bandit problem by creating a category of unofficial runners, participants, prospect runners (whatever name they want to attach to differentiate them from qualified runners). They register, get a different style bib number, and start at the end just like always. This gives the runners a chance to either qualify for the following year or just run the damn marathon and have their times recorded for their own personal satisfaction in completing the goal, which wouldn’t make them any different than runners in the qualified category, that is: get to the finish line. Sort of like electing pass/fail in a college course. Some might want to go for the 4.0 grade while others just want a pass on their transcript, but both can get credit for what they have completed.

    • Leo
      April 20, 2015 at 11:43 am

      This is actually a really good idea.

  • Who's Your Daddy
    April 20, 2015 at 9:19 am

    As a resident who pays to use those roads just how am I a bandit? People from North Carolina don’t pay Massachusetts taxes.

  • Adam
    April 20, 2015 at 8:33 am

    Even worse are the people that get in everyone’s way on the route who have to get there daily 3 mile jog in. Maybe take a day off? Now I have to dodge you assholes while holding a delicious grinder and a dunkin’s coffee cup full of whiskey and coke.

  • Chris
    April 20, 2015 at 7:52 am

    “Duke. That explains so much. Studies have shown that 98% of Duke graduates are assholes. ”

    God, I love science!!!

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    April 19, 2015 at 10:30 pm

    Bandit or no bandit, I’d hit that!!!

    • BobnMic
      April 20, 2015 at 1:14 pm

      Hell ya just wear ear plugs! Problem solved.

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