I don’t remember the last time I’ve had so much fun trolling the comments on a news article. Mr. RITS and I were seconds away from breaking out the popcorn and calling it a date.
So the city of Beverly is in the midst of a wildlife management plan that entails hiring a contractor who will catch the geese with a net, humanely euthanize them, and donate the meat to homeless shelters. I’m sure we’re all aware that geese shit A TON. As in every 20 minutes or so. They also love public parks. You know, public parks where kids play and just maybe it would be cool if kids weren’t running around in geese shit, which is rampant with bacteria, parasites, and overall just REALLY DISGUSTING.
Also, it’s actually illegal in Massachusetts to catch and relocate these geese.
So if this geese euthanizing offends you, maybe you don’t want to read the remainder of this blog and just proceed straight to the comments brandishing your pitchforks and torches. You’re never going to see my little turtle baby playing in a contaminated goose shit minefield because geese have feelings, they were here first, humans are despicable, or whatever other shit brained rant flooding the Facebook galaxy. I say get those fuckers in an oven and on a plate with a side of buttery mashed potatoes!
Up first is this maroon, who says we built our civilization on geese property. I’m gonna need to see a land deed, geese. It’s “THIER” planet. How dare we treat it as our planet.
PROTESTS! LETTER WRITING! OUTRAGE! So many SJW buzzwords my head is spinning.
What are we partitioning? Petitioning? English is fun.
How many people are in the park during the day? What? It’s a friggin’ park…where people go…during the day.
Also, they don’t really migrate like they used to because they have a steady food source (and unrestricted toilet space) here already.
Uhhhm, darling, we do kill fish. Not because they do bad things in the water (WTF?), but because they’re delicious.
Aaaand the drama queefs:
Anyways, the real question here is does anyone have a tasty recipe for gravy that goes well with oven-roasted goose?
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