• Beverly Hired A Contractor To Catch And Euthanize Geese And People Are Going Full Free Muh Geese Over It



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    I don’t remember the last time I’ve had so much fun trolling the comments on a news article. Mr. RITS and I were seconds away from breaking out the popcorn and calling it a date.

    So the city of Beverly is in the midst of a wildlife management plan that entails hiring a contractor who will catch the geese with a net, humanely euthanize them, and donate the meat to homeless shelters. I’m sure we’re all aware that geese shit A TON. As in every 20 minutes or so. They also love public parks. You know, public parks where kids play and just maybe it would be cool if kids weren’t running around in geese shit, which is rampant with bacteria, parasites, and overall just REALLY DISGUSTING.

    Also, it’s actually illegal in Massachusetts to catch and relocate these geese.

    So if this geese euthanizing offends you, maybe you don’t want to read the remainder of this blog and just proceed straight to the comments brandishing your pitchforks and torches. You’re never going to see my little turtle baby playing in a contaminated goose shit minefield because geese have feelings, they were here first, humans are despicable, or whatever other shit brained rant flooding the Facebook galaxy. I say get those fuckers in an oven and on a plate with a side of buttery mashed potatoes!

    Up first is this maroon, who says we built our civilization on geese property. I’m gonna need to see a land deed, geese. It’s “THIER” planet. How dare we treat it as our planet.

    PROTESTS! LETTER WRITING! OUTRAGE! So many SJW buzzwords my head is spinning.

    What are we partitioning? Petitioning? English is fun.

    How many people are in the park during the day? What? It’s a friggin’ park…where people go…during the day.

    Also, they don’t really migrate like they used to because they have a steady food source (and unrestricted toilet space) here already.

    Uhhhm, darling, we do kill fish. Not because they do bad things in the water (WTF?), but because they’re delicious.

    Aaaand the drama queefs:

     

    Anyways, the real question here is does anyone have a tasty recipe for gravy that goes well with oven-roasted goose?

     

     

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    Discussion

    1. sharon evans


      Turtle boy you are a real asshole let your fucking kid go play in your backyard if you are afraid he will get contaminated . Animals shit yes that is reality!! So fucking kill them!!! Your acting like a real dick about this!! You know damn well that it won’t be done humanely!! So just stay out of the park with your kid!!

      1. what evah


        MMM….. Imagine – roasted Canadian goose with Bob Evans mashed potatoes

      2. True Reality Speaks


        Been saying for years these animal activists are beyond mentally ill. They choose animals over humans – similar mindset to the abortion apologists. Precursors to today’s SJWs and antifa fascists. Sharon Evans’ batshit crazy and unhinged comments are a perfect example of the warped minds so prevalent in today’s liberal useful idiots.

        1. Sharonevans


          Oh I got some more for you!! I heard you sucked on your dads balls he came in your mouth then you moved on your mommy fucked her so hard she bled for a week then I heard you fucked your brother and sister at the same time then came all over your mouth but too much cum then you bottled up the cum from your neighbors and served at your grandmothers funeral then fucked every fucking cock sucking pig at the farm next door to you and saved that cum and sold it on eBay and then you tried to shove your own dick up your asshole but not big enough then fucked your grandfather up his ass and he enjoyed it so much he wanted more but you couldn’t because he chocked on your dick and died. Oh what more ok your so fucking stupid ugly fucked up suck your mother’s stinky cunt fuck faced bitch dick fuck suck ass cunt dick cunt asshole duck bitch. Hi suck on your Your neighbors 18 year old suck that pussy dry who is having her period suck that blood SUCK IT!!!!!!? SUCK THAT BLOOD FROM THAT CUNT NOW!!!!

      3. Savage Squaw Bitch


        ^^^ Dumb cunt alert. ^^^

        1. Sharonevans


          Ok squaw cunt bitch. I heard your cunt is red raw from fucking the above so you had to resort to your mouth but after that you got your mama you watched her fuck and suck bitches and dicks every guy and cunt bitch you wanted and you wanted it bad so you got your ass cunt grandma to suck and mouth donkey dicks to suck on then you fucked your own mama and papa but NO THAT WASNT GOOD ENOUGH you wanted more more more fucking you fucked yourself with a spoon a slotted fucking spoon then you sucked the spoon to taste your own your cum

    2. Jimmy the Goose


      Geese lives Matter!

    3. GEorgia Madman


      I’ll do it for a small fee. 22 shorts. 410 shells or a crossbow would do the trick without too much noise.

      1. Savage Squaw Bitch


        Mm, makes me hungry for a goose dinner. Can I get some of that shipped to California? I’m starvin’ over here!

        1. Sharonevans


          Oh I got some more for you!! I heard you sucked on your dads balls he came in your mouth then you moved on your mommy fucked her so hard she bled for a week then I heard you fucked your brother and sister at the same time then came all over your mouth but too much cum then you bottled up the cum from your neighbors and served at your grandmothers funeral then fucked every fucking cock sucking pig at the farm next door to you and saved that cum and sold it on eBay and then you tried to shove your own dick up your asshole but not big enough then fucked your grandfather up his ass and he enjoyed it so much he wanted more but you couldn’t because he chocked on your dick and died. Oh what more ok your so fucking stupid ugly fucked up suck your mother’s stinky cunt fuck faced bitch dick fuck suck ass cunt dick cunt asshole duck bitch. Hi suck on your Your neighbors 18 year old suck that pussy dry who is having her period suck that blood SUCK IT!!!!!!? SUCK THAT BLOOD FROM THAT CUNT NOW!!!!

    4. Lou P


      I would love to dispatch these nuisance Canadian geese and help feed the homeless.
      That is what I call a TWO-FER. Would make me feel good twice over.

      1. The Vorlon


        Just a nitpick–the offending birds are Canada Geese, not back bacon loving illegal avians from the north.

    5. suckittrebek


      feed them alki-seltzer, its explodes their insides. my uncle used to feed it to the seagulls off the back of a navy boat.

      1. Goose Lives Matter


        That sounds rather intriguing. I’d be inclined to experiment, but then I remembered GLM….

      2. sharon evans


        You are a sick fuck!! That’s how serial killers start out!!!

    6. Fly on the wall!!!


      I just sighted in my scope. Let the games begin.

    7. Sum yung gai


      I bet the goose meat from beverly is just scrumptious

    8. MadameMidlifeCrisis


      Ummmm, I’m not sure about how “humane” the euthanasia will be if they plan on “donating the meat.” I understand the frustration of wild geese but this may not be the smartest plan. Firstly, when most think “humane euthanasia” they imagine what goes on in a veterinarians office when their pets are too old/ill/traumatized to have any quality of life for any other measures to be taken, 2 shots given; 1 with something to knock them out & then the 2nd to stop their heart. If that is what is planned to be done, the “meat” is then tainted with drugs that can affect, possibly kill whomever eats it. Another thing nobody seemingly has a clue about is the fact that unlike domestic/farm raised geese, wild/Canadian geese taste AWFUL & are truly inedible for the most part. They are tough & stringy & tend to taste like swampy, stagnant water they tend to live in/around. They aren’t tasty no matter how slow you cook them nor how much strawberry & orange glaze you use while cooking them. The town will also have to take into account that the geese have a flight pattern that they learn from their parents & gaggle as they head to warmer climes every Autumn. This yahoo with the net & the plan to kill them (no matter if it’s “humane” or violent) may take a few of the geese down, but they will keep returning year after year. They best way to thwart them is with propane cannons & setting up dog/wolf & owl & hawk decoys, which frightens them from landing & causes them to choose a new area to rest during migration. The town could also have people run their dogs in the area in Spring. If you make the fields hostile & unfriendly to them, the geese will choose another place to go.
      That being said; I think Beverly is lying & the true plans to remove the geese is by shooting them or something far less “touchy feely” than they’re telling the townsfolk. Shooting them would actually be more “humane” than chasing them, catching them with a net & injecting them w/ “Beuthanasia/blue juice” (which is what PeTA does & that’s a really shitty way for animals to die. By skipping the first shot to sedate them, the animal suffers terribly as death set in & while geese suck for the reasons you’d listed in the story, killing some of them in this manner is just awful & it is NOT going to stop this from recurring every year, but I digress…) Do the town “leaders” not know anything about goose migration & propane canons to stop them? JFC; if Beverly’s citizens keep voting for idiot politicians & you’ll get idiotic ideas & massive wastes of money like this.

      1. Sonny's Mom


        Look up “Goosebuster” on Youtube. There’s a noisy but nonlethal drone that plays predator calls, and an alarm system (with a timer) that plays goose alarm calls. Both will chase flocks away and help establish new flight patterns. Lots of demos on video!

        Worcester City Counselor Gary Rosen wanted to propose using the drone a couple years ago, don’t know what happened with that.

    9. Independent Thinker


      Resident geese are a major problem. They are supposed to fly north in the spring and fly south in the winter. It was never intended to have them residing here on a full-time basis.

      Resident geese poop everywhere. Much more than a dog. They ruin golf courses, parks, playing fields, not to mention small lakes and ponds that cannot handle the amount of nutrients going into the water. The waste coming out of three geese equals that of a septic tank. But there are still folks out there that refuse to deal with problem geese, just like they refuse to let us deal with problem beavers, because it is “their world, not our’s.”

      1. Savage Squaw Bitch


        That’s so retarded to me: their world, not ours. Like we are fucking aliens or something, hahaha!! Stupid hippies need to do what they claim mankind needs to do and LEAVE. Good comment, bro.

    10. Birds B Gone


      As a homeowner directly across from a pond, fuck the geese! They create a minefield of shit on my property, hiss at my children (while in our yard), and create traffic issues on our street.

      That being said, I don’t kill them for being on my lawn. We spray goose repellent on the lawn, which makes the grass taste like grapes (they don’t like grapes), so that they move on to another grazing site.

      Maybe folks in Beverly need to be donating more food or time to homeless shelters locally. It appears like city officials are desperately trying to kill two birds with one stone. Clean the park and feed the homeless…

    11. Sonny's Mom


      Silly, your child won’t be condemned to play pat-a-cake in mountains of goose poop.

      This problem is a result of town residents feeding geese, which encourages them not to migrate. And barring dogs from public parks, as many towns do, actually contributes to duck and goose problems.

      Better solutions might be
      (i) Making it illegal to feed ducks and geese, with a hefty fine attached.
      (2) Allowing dogs into the areas where geese hang out, to chase them off. No one gets hurt: the geese see dogs come a-runnin’ and away they fly. The residual smell of “predators” (ie, dog fur…which the birds can detect, but we can’t) may also help keep them away. Permits can be issued to ensure that owners of dogs allowed in are committed to cleaning up after their animals.
      (iii) placing devices to scare geese off.

      “Humanely euthanizing” an animal would poison the meat and make it unfit to eat. Both the contractor and the Town may be in for serious problems if anyone sickens or dies from ingesting euthanasia drugs. The only safe way to obtain meat is to either shoot or slaughter the animal.

      1. sharon evans


        Yeah!! Great comment!! Someone with a brain!! Thank you!!

      2. Wtf


        They will likely do the same as cows and horses. A long , quick metal rod to the brain. It is the quickest humane way there is. People don’t like it but as a big steak eater and love using the canine teeth god gave me , I am fine with it.

      3. Savage Squaw Bitch


        Hippie, go away. Make it illegal to do something hippies and the elderly naturally want to do, eh? Fucking big-government hooker, get off the soap box. And about that humane euthanasia: ever heard of slaughterhouses? Humane enough.

    12. johnnyb


      Terrific, Great article RITG. It is totally wrong for human beans to let a tasty fowl go to waste. Eat em all I say..(Also,a bit of garlic powder,onion powder and dry mustard into that butter/flour mixture does wonders for the gravy)

    13. Savage Squaw Bitch


      I love how that one moron complains that feeding homeless people the goose meat is bad. Like GEEZUS, dude, there’s no winning with these fags who don’t deserve the poon they have to pay for. If they took his advice and fed the goose meat to their families rather than the homeless, you KNOW that aame doucher will be all over shitbook crying about how homeless people need to eat, too. You just can’t win with these losers.

    14. wabbitt


      I’d say this post brought out the crazy hippies, but that would indicate there was more than one.

      Sharon, you seem to be in desperate need of some deep dick.

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