Social Justice Warriors

“Black Brunch” At NYC Diners Is Latest Hilarious Form Of Hippie Protest

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Just when you thought the protesters couldn’t possibly find a way to be any dumber they reminded us yesterday that they have plenty of tricks up their sleeve. Sure they could play on the highway again or try to block the Brooklyn Bridge, but that’s sooooo 2014. Nope this year they’ve found a new way to piss everyone off by disrupting the last bastion of peace and quiet for urban white people – brunch!! Apparently they just walk into places where white people are eating brunch and they start yelling shit on megaphones. They’ve even named it “Black Brunch.” And just in case you didn’t think they were serious about it they even threw one of those Goddamn pound signs in front of it on the Twitter machine. #blackbrunchnyc. No you know they mean business!!

From the Washington Post:

The protesters, most dressed in black, read the names of African Americans killed by police punctuated with chants of “ashe,” a word from the Yoruba language of West Africa comparable to “amen.” Timed by participants, the ritual takes four-and-a-half minutes — since Michael Brown’s body was left on the street for four-and-a-half hours in Ferguson.

“Every 28 hours, a black person in America is killed by the police,” the protesters said. “These are our brothers and sisters. Today and every day, we honor their lives.”

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LOL. That is the face of a frightened white woman who is so confused. She even wrote #blacklivesmatter on Twitter once. Don’t these people know she’s one of the good ones?

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Love the Asian guy in the foreground. There’s no better way to stick it to white supremacists than making it difficult for an Asian guy to eat scrambled eggs.

black brunch

Yea, there is a war on black lives, didn’t you hear? Particularly a war on black criminals who try to take guns from cops. Can you believe that? I don’t wanna live in a country where it’s not safe to wrestle with a police officer and reach for his gun!! Obviously these soldiers are very oppressed. Now hold on a second while they put their latest photos on Instagram.

black brunch

LOL. First of all, the concept that shutting down a business is somehow your right because a kid got killed in Ferguson, MO is insanely hilarious. Secondly, I love how she says “no business” in her tweet. Pretty sure every single person in there was planning on paying their bill and went on with their meal after the protesters got the attention that they so dearly crave. That’s like, the definition of business.

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LOL. Yea, no iPhones for this revolutionary babe. Just designer clothes and a designer purse. This POOR oppressed individual. You know who didn’t have clothes like that growing up? My sister. She was the freshest kid on the first day of school, decked from head to toe in the finest clothes from the Saver’s clearance rack. But please, tell me more about how much better white people have it.

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See now this one is fucked up because there’s a little kid there. This is what’s really fucked up about the protesters – they don’t mind making little white kids cry. Sure, they’re just little kids now. But they’re gonna grow up to be killer white cops, so, fuck them.

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Yea, that’s definitely a documented fact. Every 28 hours an unarmed black kid is killed by racist white cops. Sure, she didn’t provide any sources to validate that. But she did toss a hashtag in there, and as you know, a hashtag means it’s 120% accurate.

Seriously though, this is the most racist shit I’ve ever seen. These dingbats purposely targeted restaurants where white people largely concentrate. Because after all, white people are all dumbasses who live in caves and haven’t heard about Michael Brown or Eric Garner. Thus we need these young militants to show us the light.

Imagine if this was the other way around, and a group of angry white people went into Popeye’s assuming eveyrone in there was black. I’d call that pretty racist. So is this. It’s the exact same fucking thing. How about the next time these hippies trying to enjoy themselves a bunch of the nutjobs who camp outside of Planned Parenthood every day walk in on them and start reading the names of aborted babies. See how much they like that one.

These little McMuffins just keep getting more hilarious by the day. Haven’t these idiots ever heard of Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s? Do they realize the gold mine they missed? If these idiots were actually concerned with “educating” people about their “cause” then they’d have done this at Chik-Fil-A or a monster truck rally. Oh yea, and they fucked up too because there’s millions of white people at the gym right now pretending like they’re gonna follow through on their New Year’s resolutions. As usual these idiots went home, patted themselves on the back and said, “we made progress today.” But of course we all know they didn’t. #WhiteBrunchMatters

Another funny part about this is that I would guess 95% of the people eating brunch at a Berkley or New York City midtown coffee shop are pretty sympathetic to their whole cause. White guilt is running rampant there already. Notice that none of the patrons in these places tried to argue with them, which blows my mind. I wouldn’t have been so kind. I wouldn’t try to get into a whole thing with them, since that would be about as effective as a red light in Grand Theft Auto. Instead I would just exercise my right to walk in a straight line. One of these fuckers gets in my way? Not my problem. Hippie down, aisle one.

At the same time, I have never eaten brunch and quite frankly I assume anyone who does is probably an asshole. What the hell is brunch anyway? And what time do you eat it at? Because some of these protests were going on at noon. Newsflash – that’s not brunch – it’s lunch. It doesn’t matter if you ordered a piece of quiche. The fact is it’s lunch time, so you’re eating lunch. McDonald’s figured out the exact time breakfast ends and lunch begins, and so can you. Contact my man Grimace for more details.

As usual the bottom line is this – there is no war on black people by the police. It’s just a slogan that’s been repeated enough times so idiots think it’s real. Yes, on average 250 black men are killed by the police every year. This doesn’t mean the police are going around indiscriminately targeting black males. They’re targeting criminals. And in almost all 250 of these cases the person is an armed criminal.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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6 Comment(s)
  • EATaGunTurtleBoySports
    January 6, 2015 at 9:51 pm

    I am so gay.

  • Eric Kerr
    January 6, 2015 at 10:24 am

    Imagine if this was the other way around, and a group of angry white people went into Popeye’s assuming eveyrone in there was black.———-LOL’d so hard

  • #PayMyBillsForMe
    January 6, 2015 at 6:23 am

    When they interrup my meal, they get my bill.
    #CreditCardMilesMatter

  • Derek Fucking Grimm
    January 6, 2015 at 1:03 am

    How about the BLACK LIVES in Sierra Leone. Or Liberia. Or Somalia. Where is their protest? Oh shut, I forgot, the Save Darfur movement died with MySpace. I hate yuppie activists.

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    January 6, 2015 at 12:57 am

    You know why they wouldn’t do this at a Chik-Fil-A or a monster truck show? Because the white people there aren’t meek and upper-middle class. They’re poor, gun-toting trailer trash and these prissy hippies would get the ever-loving fuck beaten out of them.

  • Non Sequitor
    January 5, 2015 at 10:33 pm

    Instead of reading a list of names of felons shot by police, why don’t they read a list of names of black children-and I mean little kids-killed by stray bullets in drive by shootings in black neighborhoods?

    I bet that list would take a hell of a lot longer than 4 ½ goddamn minutes.

    This is trendy righteousness. But it is still worshipping the Cult of Lawlessness. Start standing up for law abiding people. Of all colors.

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