Sports

Blame Manny Pacquiao For That Fight Sucking So Much, Not Floyd Mayweather

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We warned you all that it would happen – we told you exactly how that Floyd Mayweather-Manny Pacquiao fight would go last night:

“What sucks is Floyd is gonna win. I hope I’m wrong, but I’ve just seen this too many times before. Manny Pacquiao’s been pissing me off too, because he thinks he’s fucking Carrie Underwood and Frank Underdwood put together. He’s terrible at singing, and I assume he’s terrible at politics, but because everyone around him kisses his ass he’s pursuing careers in both fields.  I think he could be the next William Hung, except he ACTUALLY thinks he’s good.”

It was all too predictable. Floyd Mayweather fights like a beyoch. He just does. It’s his style. It’s what works because it allows him to win on points. He’s single-handedly ruined one of the great American sports by finding a way to turn it into a sockhop.

But it doesn’t HAVE to be this way. Floyd’s opponents for whatever reason are spellbound when they fight him. He’s a tactician who somehow seems to convince his opponents to try to outbox him, which is impossible.

A prime example was the Canelo Alavarez fight. Canelo was hot shit coming into the fight. A young, hungry, undefeated Mexican giner, who was coming off a series of TKO’s. I was CONVINCED that this was the guy who could finally take it Floyd.

Instead he went in there and tried to outbox Mayweather, which is exactly what Floyd wants you to do. He wants you to get cute so he can move around and jab you with his left, pick up points, and win in a decision. That’s exactly what happened. This fight wasn’t even close.

(L-R) Floyd Mayweather Jr. throws a right to the body of Canelo Alvarez during their WBC/WBA 154-pound title fight at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on September 14, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

(L-R) Floyd Mayweather Jr. throws a right to the body of Canelo Alvarez during their WBC/WBA 154-pound title fight at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on September 14, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

 

Look, I’m the resident Puerto Rican writer for Turtleboy Sports. Boxing is what we know best. Our patron saint is Miguel Cotto, who gave Floyd a MUCH better fight than Manny or Canelo did three years ago, despite being an inferior fighter. Here’s how you take it to Floyd Mayweather:

When Cotto had him in the corner he was relentless because it was his only chance of winning. At the end of the day Floyd is too fast to beat though. The only person who can possibly beat Mayweather is someone like Pacquiao who can constantly keep Mayweather on the defensive by going on the offensive. Pacquiao beat Cotto in a TKO back in 2009. He hit Cotto like Mayweather simply is unable to. And he did it by constantly fighting on his toes. Here’s the shot that basically ended that fight in the 12th round:

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Look at Manny’s right foot. He’s on his toes. That’s Manny being Manny. Just watch the first round of his first fight with Juan Manuel Marquez, a draw/bloodbath that was one of the best fights you’ll ever see. Manny knocks him down three times in the first round. The crowd is on their feet. It was a great show.

But last night against Floyd we didn’t see that. You knew it wasn’t gonna be the same once you saw this:

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First of all, Jimmy Kimmel was fucking HILARIOUS. He was wearing a Goddamn Pacman shirt eating little faces of Floyd Mayweather. It was comedic brilliance.

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But the second Freddie Roach took that selfie you knew the fight was over. They obviously got paid a shitload of money by whatever brand that phone is to do that. Manny was there for the paycheck, just like Canelo was.

Let me just say, that I’m sick and tired of hearing morons who just watched their first fight last night bitch and whine about Mayweather. Hey ding-dong, this is what he does. You knew EXACTLY what he was going to do.

The independent variable in this fight was Pacquiao. He could either, a) try to outbox Floyd and fail just like everyone else who has tried that has done, or b) take it to Floyd and see what happens. For whatever reason he chose the former. If you wanna be pissed at someone, be pissed at him.

Here’s a link to the entire Pacquiao-Mayweather fight. Let’s look at how Manny fucked up. First he let Floyd control the fight. Mayweather has a five inch reach advantage, so he can pick up cheap little points by tapping Manny with his left jab.

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Those don’t really do anything, but they’re still worth a point. Floyd wins on points and Manny let him. You can’t outbox a guy who has a five inch reach advantage on you. Manny also spent most of the fight flat-footed and defensive – the exact opposite of the way he fought against Cotto and Marquez.

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This is not how Pacman fights. It’s not the reason he earned the right to even be in the ring with Floyd. He was trying to be someone he wasn’t, which has been his M.O. lately. He tries to be a basketball player, politician, and singer. He’s not good at any of those things, but no one tells him not to do it, so he just keeps right on doing it anyway. But because he was so flat-footed, every time he tried to punch this happened

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It was too easy for Floyd to not get hit. Then Manny kept getting him in the corner, but for whatever reason decided to stand there and stare at him, allowing Floyd to move around.

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The only round in which Manny was truly being Manny was Round 4. Manny dominated Round 4. Here he is in the EXACT same situation he was in the first picture from Round 1. Look how different his stance was.

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Floyd was more than willing to let Manny beat the shit out of him when he was in the corner.

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Manny spent most of the 180 second in Round 4 on his toes.

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When he does this it enables him to be explosive and unleash furies of haymakers, which he did time and time again during that round.

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When Round 5 started I was convinced we were about to get our money’s worth. Instead we saw more of this garbage.

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The problem with Manny is that no one has ever told him “no.” He actually told Max Kellerman at the end of the fight that he thought he won. He wasn’t kidding. He believed that.

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That’s because he’s surrounded by a bunch of ass kissers who tell him he’s great at everything he does. It’s why no one has told him that it’s a bad idea for him to be a player/coach for a Filipino basketball team.

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It’s why no one ever told him he can’t sing and he shouldn’t come out to a recording of one of his own songs. It’s why no one told him that he should wait until after his boxing career is over to run for Filipino congress.

The bottom line is, if you wanna blame someone for the fact that this fight sucked Old Balls, blame Manny.

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3 Comment(s)
  • Fuck the Philippines
    October 1, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    I’m glad Floyd gave Manny a boxing lesson. Hit and don’t get hit. Willie Pep and Charley Burley are smiling down on that man.

  • RSoxGuy
    May 4, 2015 at 9:25 pm

    Its his “style”. I dont like it either but im not 48-0. Its like goin to a Pats game and booing running plays. Ya tey could bomb it every play but even a douche bag like Mayweather knows you cant win throwing haymakers ever punch. Ya you will get lucky once in awhile but it wont get you 48-0.

  • Clean Hippie
    May 4, 2015 at 4:13 pm

    100% true. I knew for months this is how this fight would end. Sitting back and laughing at all the fucking plebeians dumbfounded by it.

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