WTF

Blarney Stone Named Best Bad Decision Bar In America

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Some publication called Thrillist published an article called the “27 Best Bad Decision Bars In America.” Guess which Worcester bar made the list? I’ll give you a hint. It’s the ideal spot for bagging a mediocre Clark girl while stuffing your face with popcorn.

The $3 cocktails at Blarney Stone are about 90% liquor and 10% mixer, and the clientele is 100% there for that fact. Depending on the characters in town for the night, it can either descend into a bawdy hug-fest, or… well, let’s just say the cops outside aren’t there to stop people from making out. Either way, it’s a free-for-all when it comes to the dangerously salty complimentary popcorn.

First of all, this is pretty Goddamn accurate. Back in the day this was the place you wanted to be at if you were low on cash and didn’t mind waking up in some strange apartment on Florence Street. You can get wasted for $10 and still have enough money for tips. Oh yea, and you can hunt buck too, or play the ring game as long as some guy in a cape isn’t standing in front of the hook.

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What I LOVE about the Blarney is that you don’t have to get all dressed up and fancy. I can’t stand when I have to pretend to be someone I’m not. That’s what work is for. You have to get dressed up for work and act appropriate. It’s the worst. The weekend is time for “Blarney wear” which basically means wearing whatever the hell you wanna wear.

GoLocalWorcester also wrote about it, and I have to say that I disagree with their assessment:

It’s well known in these parts for its hot bartenders, cheap beer, and arguably the best Trivia night in the city. 

The bartenders are great guys, don’t get me wrong. But this isn’t Goddamn Coyote Ugly. It’s the fucking Blarney. It’s awesome because the bartender isn’t some junior smokeshow who makes a weak drink and gets tipped anyway because morons think the bartender will think they’re some sort of Worcester baller if they do. It’s awesome because the bartenders earn their tips by making the stiffest drinks outside of the Dragon 88.

I don’t go there for the trivia though. Personally I take trivia seriously. I won’t play in any establishment where people are allowed to look at their phones. I play to win. So while everyone else is getting all the questions right I’ll be pounding $4 long islands and emptying my bladder while awkwardly standing next to some dude I’ve never met before:

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Because 9 times out of 10 there is a girl taking a smash in the stall.

It really is a magical bar. I remember I used to go to the hip places like Salty Dog when I was younger. What an idiot. You come to a point in your life when you realize that places like that are an overrated waste of time. Meanwhile you could be having the time of your life at the Blarney.

The Blarney Stone is where old friends get together

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Blarney babes come out to play

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Blarney miracles happen at a moments notice

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and you can take a trip down memory lane while reminiscing about some of your favorite Blarney moments in the Blarney Wall of Fame

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So in conclusion I’d like to state for the record that this is the most accurate list I’ve ever seen. If the other 26 bars on this list are as magical as the Blarney then you are certain to have a great time while making a lot of bad decisions at those places as well.

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5 Comment(s)
  • Juggy
    March 7, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    friends and babes are great!!

  • Clive McFarlane
    March 4, 2015 at 5:57 pm

    I’m pretty good at making bad decisions everywhere, but Blarney Stone is definitely my favorite place to fuck up.

  • Woodiculous
    March 3, 2015 at 9:27 pm

    well, you won’t be making any bad FINANCIAL decisions at the Blarney.
    And Gronk (not even a no name brother Gronk) will ever be smashing a Lombardi trophy cake on your head.

    • Vanderbooger
      March 3, 2015 at 9:33 pm

      Yeah right, you clearly haven’t drank enough there. One time I spend $75 on Buckhunter, $42 on Golden Tee, and I lost $13 playing cutthroat Keno.

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