Boobaru Bro Gets Popped Driving FUBAR’d at 105 MPH In Construction Zone, Gives MSP A Peek At His Trouser Trout

In the interest of full disclosure, he was in a Ford pickemup, hangin’ out with his wang out when Troopers caught up to him.








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Ah, summer in New England. It’s that wonderful time of the year when the AC in your car gives up on life on a 100 degree day with 159% humidity. Then you’re forced to drive extra fast with the windows down so you don’t suffocate. But when that’s not enough, what do you do?


Well, if you’re Alex Shanwenda from Chicopee


you toss your leg prisons to the wayside, powder your grundle so your baby balloons don’t melt into the searing hot leather of your seat and down a six pack of Blue Moon while going HAM through a 45 MPH construction zone on I-91:

A Massachusetts State Trooper yesterday arrested a drunk driver who was traveling at speeds of up to 105 mph in a construction zone on Interstate 91 in Whately where the speed limit is 45 mph.

Trooper Michael Tucker, assigned to the State Police Commercial Vehicle Enforcement Section, was on patrol on I-91 southbound when the Northampton Barracks advised patrols of a black pickup truck being operated erratically and at a high rate of speed.

Trooper Tucker began seeking the suspect vehicle, a 2005 Ford pickup with a Massachusetts registration, and soon made visual contact. He observed the driver change lanes without signaling and nearly cause a collision with a box truck. The pickup then accelerated to 105 mph in the posted 45 mph construction zone.

The suspect vehicle eventually slowed in traffic in Northampton and Trooper Tucker caught up to it and conducted a motor vehicle stop. Upon reaching the driver’s door, Trooper Tucker observed that the driver was wearing no clothes and had placed a pair of work pants over his lap. The trooper observed strong indicators of alcohol intoxication on the driver and observed an empty bottle in the bed of the truck.

The trooper requested that the operator put his pants on. He then requested license and registration. The driver was able to produce his license but could not find the registration. The driver was identified as ALEXANDER SHANWENDA, 24, of Chicopee.

Trooper Tucker was backed up by Trooper Peter McMahon of the Northampton Barracks. The troopers administered several field sobriety tests to SHANWENDA, who failed all of them. Troopers placed SHANWENDA under arrest and transported him to State Police-Northampton, where he was booked for the following offenses:

  1. Operating under the influence of liquor;
  2. Operating to endanger;
  3. Marked lanes violation; and
  4. Speeding in a Construction Zone.

During an inventory of the pickup, troopers located two six-bottle packs of beer that contained five full bottles and three empty bottles, with the other four bottles missing.

Following SHANWENDA’s arrest, a district court bail clerk set bail at personal recognizance plus the $40 bail fee. He will be arraigned on the charges in the Holyoke District Court.”


He seems like a pretty decent kid, though

He’s into the car scene, and seems to have several rides – a step up from the nudniks we usually feature here who rely on their reduced-rate T passes or Medford Pete to get around


He enjoys taking Hipster-esque pics behind the wheel of his Subie while simultaneously thumbing his nose at the law

effectively making him a boobaru bro

one of the douchiest cliques in car subculture (surpassed only by Honda fanboys)

Douchefactor – check!


But I digress…

Speedy Brozales enjoys his blue collar champagne and solitude almost as much as his cars

which probably works out great for him, because something about him strikes me as the #foreveralone type

This little douchenugget was released on $40 “personal recognizance” which is not really a deterrent for this type of behavior.


Sadder still, Speedy Brozales presents himself as a car enthusiast, yet, doesn’t respect the vehicles he owns and drives. NSTB is pretty partial to things with wheels that go vwooooom, and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt I’d never plop behind the wheel of my turtlemobile after a few drinks.


Nuh uh, no way. Know why? I love and respect the turtlemobile and I wouldn’t want to fuck it up over a stupid, temporary situation. Not to mention risking the lives of the general public and my own. That’s just friggin stooooopid.

Let’s hope our boobaru bro washes this shame sammich down with water instead of Natty Ice and changes his ways before it’s too late and he becomes a frequent flyer here at TB.










8 Comment(s)
  • They call me Ponch
    July 20, 2017 at 9:16 pm

    What’s with the Pure Jiz logo?

  • I need a drink
    July 20, 2017 at 4:10 pm

    For the record, VWs drivers are by far the worst car subculture…
    Subaru kids are no where near the brofuckery that is the VW shitheads. Just saying.

  • SourMash
    July 20, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    Bearded lady??

    Smirking little weirdo risking other people’s lives.

  • July 20, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    This guy could have easily killed people and he walks for less than the price of getting two non-shit large pizzas delivered. That’ s not messed-up at all.

  • Yo Momma
    July 20, 2017 at 3:08 pm

    How many cars does this pube-face 24 yo drunk own?

    And how long until he slashes a nurse at Harrington Hospital?

  • Pennsrant's Mom
    July 20, 2017 at 1:54 pm

    I’d hit it.

    July 20, 2017 at 12:45 pm

    I’M no lawyer, but bail to assure the court of guarantee (responsibly), of future appearence. OK, fine and well…. $40 bucks. Forty bucks… or elsewhat? Flee to Sweden aND blow your hidden $10 million on Swedish blonds, slurping down ceturies old Swedish wine, after TBG sucks my sweet, I’ll call it Swisher then throw some cold-water caviar down her hatch. Please spare me the ghetto… for God’s sake I have to drive through it Saturday.

  • Mirror Mirror
    July 20, 2017 at 12:37 pm

    Lesbians, grandparents, and pussy SJW poseurs drive Subarus.

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