Hoodrat Heroes

Bootleg Tyra Skanks Starts Frivolous Gofundme To Fund Trip To California With Her Wife And 5 Cats To “Model”, Portfolio Of Ratchet Glamour Shots Determined That To Be A Lie

Do you remember when Gofundme’s explicit service was collecting donations for legitimate charitable causes and emergencies? Yeah, me neither. Now it’s just chock full of grade-A horse shit like this ultra worthy cause:

 

 

Seems legit. She’s an “upcoming” model who has a nondescript modeling job waiting for her on the other side of the country, and she’s doing it all for young girls all over the world, so they can learn to do whatever this shit is.

 

What a shining beacon of example for girls everywhere. Don’t be shy, whip your tits out everywhere, snap a photo with your camera phone and upload it to the internet, and you too can be a model  greasy skank with an Instagram account.

 

If you honestly think you can make a living off of smoking bongs in your underwear and posing in the doorway of your low income apartment dressed like a Phish concert passaround, let me be the first to congratulate you on your free lifetime short bus pass. Try to refrain from licking the windows. But she really does seem committed to the fantasy of being a white trash bootleg Kate Moss.

“Some day I’ll make the cover of Tractor Supply weekly!”

But hey, this is a realistic career plan, right? There’s no way that a half naked lesbian stoner scuzzqueen with pictures that look like onion soup mix smells could ever fail in pursuit of a modeling career. You all better jump onto this opportunity! What better investment can you find on the internet, than $5,000 to help this claptrap pack up some black trashbags filled with clothes and bongs, grab her equally classy muff marauder of the month,

 

and relocate with their “I collect social security and drink handles of Rubinoff vodka in my pajamas all day” starter pack,

 

To pursue a modeling career she is deluded enough to think a complete lack of shame and self-awareness and photo filters will get her? Shut up and take my money, lady! This surely will work out well. What super model doesn’t start off in a perpetual haze of weed smoke and cat urine? This is destiny.

To her credit, it’s not that scabby Gabby hasn’t been trying to save up by herself, she’s just been stricken with the horrible, totally unforseen tragedy of living expenses that just don’t resolve themselves. Clearly she has a really promising career here:

You can tell she’s doing big things, because her marketing materials consist of construction paper and highlighter. Really impressive stuff.

 

I know it may come off as catty and cruel, but I’m ok with that, because somebody needs to tell these kids the truth. Life is completely opposite of everything your parents, your teachers, and the media has taught you. No, you can’t be anything you dream of. Your options are not endless, and just because you dream it does not mean you can do it. Selling visual access to your flapjacks and cock cave for the bargain price of $26.00 a month does not make you a promising up and coming model – it makes you a skag with a camera phone who isn’t going to be particularly desirable to any potential employers, ever. No amount of stranger’s pity donation cash is ever, ever going to change that. Go ahead, be ambitious, but not deluded. The world owes you nothing, and your dreams are shit. That’s reality. I really want to believe she knows this and the GoPoundMe is just a big scam, but….

She seems alarmingly serious.

On the bright side, though, they’re always hiring CNAs, and that’s one job that requires little more than a pair of glorified pajamas and a pulse. There’s a realistic option!

 

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28 Comment(s)
  • Mary Louise Hill's pimp
    February 10, 2019 at 10:34 pm

    I bet she gives more blow jobs than Mary Louise Hill.

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    January 30, 2019 at 1:30 pm

    The girlfriend looks like Ron Weasley.

  • The angry taint
    January 30, 2019 at 12:55 pm

    wish i had 4 hands so i could give those titties 4 thumbs down….ugh

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    January 30, 2019 at 11:44 am

    “…looks like onion soup mix smells…” LOL!!

  • You should be ashamed of how much of a pig you are
    January 30, 2019 at 8:46 am

    Okay I get it, people love tits and ass. That’s not anything new. But someone please tell me when woman started to have no respect for themselves what so ever. Taking pics like that to share to the whole world basically. She has a very high opinion of herself and it will be rough for her to handle the rejection she will certainly get from models in Cali. This woman looks like what the models in Cali flush down.. aka shit. Woman need to start having some damn respect for theirselves, this girl has no class or self respect at all. I’m sorry she is trash bag and literal pig. She gives all woman a bad name.

    • john
      January 30, 2019 at 10:09 am

      Mr TB….. i love your thought on this jessie smolletts actor attack i smell a fake news story

  • Yuck
    January 30, 2019 at 7:46 am

    She should call that thing her husband. It is a handsome woman? I guess I know who plays the “man”.

  • Nikola Tesla
    January 29, 2019 at 9:11 pm

    Would.

  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    January 29, 2019 at 8:43 pm

    They both need a good bath. They are disgusting. I bet their boxes smell like piss and queefs. Gross pigs

  • I feel bad for the cats
    January 29, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    She’s a Brockton 8 and her pictures remind me of sadness and stale Little Debby snack cakes.

  • Turtz McGurtz
    January 29, 2019 at 7:31 pm

    Is her wife a boy or a girl seems unclear?

  • You Poeple Dont get Much Pussy do you?
    January 29, 2019 at 6:24 pm

    Gabs, I know you probably wouldn’t even waste the time to look up this shit, but if by chance, don’t listen to these people. I’ve gone over a lot this site. These people are fucking seriously devoid of any meaningful purposes in life. Seriously honey, they bitch about gofundme pages, like you’re the first one to ever ask for help on a dream. They bitch about parking spaces, like who the fuck does that? If one has a gripe, wait for the fucker and bitch slap them, don’t whine about it like some shaven cunt on the internet. And yet best of all, they got some hangup with people doing stupid shit. They do not appear to realize, people are human, humans make dumb fucking mistakes. Always have and always will. Somehow these people seem to have themselves convinced they are doing something about the stupidity of people, when all they are really doing is given it more attention than it deserves. I have really never seen such a useless waste of time and thought as I have seen on this website. Not sure who these people are babygirl, but as we always discuss, they aren’t even worthy of their lips coming 1OOO feet of our love channel. Lud you always ganj chick, you know who I am. These idiots certainly do not have a clue who they are. LOst iN waSTED SPacE. Your Weds Rexie *slip lips* 20 spot on the tail end baby green spline know whatta mean LMAO

    • Don’t come here and read it then loser
      January 29, 2019 at 6:39 pm

      Mike Gaffney is that you?

      • Hugh-Bo Mont
        January 30, 2019 at 11:40 am

        Or Leigha?

        • The angry taint
          January 30, 2019 at 12:56 pm

          oh hi leigha!

    • z
      January 29, 2019 at 7:40 pm

      For Fucks sake, poeple is something Curly from the 3 Stooges would say instead of purple.

  • CUNTWAGON
    January 29, 2019 at 5:59 pm

    Ew shes fucking Snot from American Dad

    • Snot the Jew
      January 30, 2019 at 8:35 am

      That’s was fkn great!!! Lmao!

  • Akihito
    January 29, 2019 at 5:34 pm

    Modeling means making pornos now?

  • Ginger Antics
    January 29, 2019 at 5:13 pm

    Ginger Skanks, sign up now for your new liver. Nvm forgot they don’t give new livers to drunk crack-heads.

  • Y
    January 29, 2019 at 5:02 pm

    Two bagel bumping lezbots, next.

    Itty Bitty Titty Committee Gaby:
    facebook.com/gabriellaxoxoganja
    instagram.com/kush_aphrodite/
    420xganjaxqueenx024.tumblr.com/?fbclid=IwAR2Oe9XF–PvHlO2-ezi4tyvBnY7FBk8sw8jTiNP6eF0EtDM7I0KLszvfiQ

    Gaby’s Scissor Queen, Joanna Anti-Banana:
    facebook.com/joanna.love.3344
    instagram.com/kush_unicorn_xx/

    Whatever you do, do not report them for nudity, drugs, etc.

    • Nice little A cups on a skank
      January 29, 2019 at 5:42 pm

      Hahaha I was gonna mention that her and her wife are the president and vp of the IBTC, itty bitty titty committee.

    • Thots
      January 29, 2019 at 8:57 pm

      Are you suggesting a #ThotAudit ?  

  • Maura Healy
    January 29, 2019 at 4:57 pm

    I will gladly fund your excursion if you stop by the state house before you leave. Give me and my strap on a good hour and a half and the Massachusetts taxpayers will pick up the tab.

    • BlessTheIRS
      January 31, 2019 at 2:55 pm

      That Ho Owes Taxes

  • Sulfer Powder
    January 29, 2019 at 4:54 pm

    Yeah…. No, absolutely not ever. There’s one picture of her and the wife where they look like they’ve been on a weeklong bender. Ugh!

  • Yuck
    January 29, 2019 at 4:49 pm

    Don’t know why she is asking for 5K to take a trip. She should be asking north of 10K to get herself some goddamn titties! When your bust size is that of a pre-pubescent girl, you need to reassess your priorities when attempting to get into the porn biz. Get some titties!!!

    • Jim
      January 29, 2019 at 6:43 pm

      If they really wanted to go they would have saved up instead of wasting money on booze and drugs.

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