Hoodrat Heroes

Bovine Barbie Threatens To Smack Woman With $8 After Stealing Her Baby Swing From Foxboro Facebook Marketplace 


This is Cindy Flewelling from Mansfield.

The other day a woman posted a toddler swing on Facebook Marketplace for $10 and Cindy said she wanted it and would leave the $10 in the mailbox. She ended up leaving $2 instead, but promised to pay back the other $8 before blocking the woman she got it from.

Some people might say, who cares? It’s just $8. But I respect the hell out of this OP because you can’t let ratchet shit go like this. It is just $8, and it’s $8 that Cindy can afford with her nice new car there. She just left $2 to be a dickhead, and then to go and block the OP after that is icing on the cake. At this point it’s not about the $8 so much as it is the satisfaction of a public shaming, so she posted it in all the local yard sale pages.

Meanwhile Bovine Barbie over here is living it up on Facebook, getting her nails done and eating “bomb crab legs” with perhaps the most mouth watering burger you’ve ever seen.

Talk about living the high life. Just look at that thing.

Fuck a roll when you get yourself two slices of Wonder Bread!!

Speaking of rolls, the only thing more ratchet than that burger is whatever the fuck is going on here:

I have so many questions. Most of them revolve around why she isn’t wearing pants and thought this would be a good thing to upload to Facebook.

The guy in the picture is her baby daddy Julio Parissi from Pawtucket.

The hat. Nuff said. Explains the crotch fruit with the middle finger.

Julio is no stranger to the Rhode Island courts.

He’s got Google trophies ranging from assault and battery, domestic violence, larceny, and violation of restraining orders.

The power couple also has several evictions under their belt.

So not paying people money they owe them is kind of their thing.


Bovine Barbie saw that she had been called out for basically stealing a baby toy in order to avoid parting with $8 and responded with a post of her own, threatening to smack the OP with $8.

You’re gonna have to unblock her on Facebook first dear. Gotta love how she censored f***ing, but not retarded. If you’re ever in a position where you can’t come up with $8 then you should probably just wait until you get $8 before getting the swing. This isn’t a layaway program, it’s Facebook Marketplace.

Some people in the comments said that Bovine Barbie was actually the victim here.

Oh fuck off Karen.

And fuck your vaccine too Eyesenhower.

I wouldn’t like my name dragged all over social media, but a great way to avoid that from happening is to not steal a baby’s toy. The OP did the right thing by alerting the community because people like this don’t just do it once, and they have the right to warn others. It’s like the Wild West of Yelp reviews. And Bovine Barbie is actually a horrible person who not only steals from people but threatens them when she gets called out for stealing.

Her feelings don’t matter. But if she’d like to come on the live show and talk about this she’s more than welcomed to message Clarence Woods Emerson on Facebook and we can make that happen.


Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


61 Comment(s)
  • Gina
    August 9, 2021 at 8:03 pm

    This skank robbed my apartment about 8 years ago..super trashy. I haven’t forgotten and I hope she she reads all these comments..this nasty pig stole my underwear..my freaking toothbrush..everything

  • Spider Lips13
    Spider Lips13
    May 27, 2021 at 1:33 pm

    Thank the good lord you can’t smell pictures.

  • Ms. Polite
    May 26, 2021 at 6:15 pm

    Cancel the 19th Amendment, please.

  • Mike Gaffney's ED meds
    May 26, 2021 at 2:21 pm

    First off, who put that blond Karen wig on Gollum? Girl Smeagol looks like she’s still pissed that Bilbo found her ring.
    Fupastilskin maybe needed that $8 to buy some fuckin underwear. Did any of you think about that? No, you didn’t. And now you wish you hadn’t.

    May 26, 2021 at 10:25 am

    A sane and normal person would have reached out and said I wont have the money until tomorrow would you please hold it for me
    The normal and sane seller most likely would have said yes
    The fuck was the point of leaving the 2 dollars now you’re 2 dollars short for a bag of diegos fire fentanyl
    It would have been more respectable if you just left an iou in the mailbox leaving 2 dollars is just a taunt
    That blond wahhhmen looks like a cracked out peacock and needs to shut her Kunt mouth
    The jr hoodboggers are already lost people need to stop feeling bad for kids who are born to creatures like this their own parents dont care so why should you
    I do love the wic bread and government cheese
    I guarantee it looks a lot better than what Julio sticks his dick in though
    In one picture she looks like exactly like kate peter does anyone know if they are related

    • Victoria Santana
      May 26, 2021 at 12:55 pm

      This is Victoria the picture y’all posted with Julio and the other 3 kids one of them is my child the one with white and black Levi’s shirt, so if you can kindly delete that picture my son don’t need to be posted on this website.

        May 26, 2021 at 4:52 pm

        No the picture of your little ghetto hamster stays up now fuck right off ya dumb KUNT

  • Katy
    May 26, 2021 at 10:05 am

    We call those “homie burgers”.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    May 26, 2021 at 9:37 am

    The chick who got robbed should invite her over for the $8 slap. Answer the door with some brass knuckles and knock her ass out. Just be aware that when she falls she may crack a floor joist.

  • Mr Lahey
    May 26, 2021 at 9:04 am

    Even my Randy wouldn’t eat that greasy cheeseburger

  • Whites yo! Right ?
    May 26, 2021 at 8:45 am

    Let’s be real. If everything was reversed and whites had been slaves and treated like shit at this point the world wouldn’t be here. Look how these amazing white people act. Almost like everyone else from poverty. Almost like it’s not even a color thing but a poverty issue but hey who has time for that discussion! Psssh nigers are scary

  • Dr Wu
    Dr Wu
    May 26, 2021 at 8:27 am

    Beauty is skin deep………..BUT: ugly is to the bone!

  • Travis Bickle
    May 26, 2021 at 8:09 am

    Just remember folks, whenever the do-gooders propose to build “affordable housing” in your town, its so they can move creatures like this into your neighborhood. Just sayin’…

  • Uncle Peckerhead
    May 26, 2021 at 12:33 am

    Poor Joolio must have to tie a 2X4 to his ass b4 sex so he doesn’t fall in!
    She must have purchased the new lewve seat so you don’t have to “get up to go”!!! Prolly got the optional ice cooler too!

  • Real journalism
    May 25, 2021 at 10:34 pm

    Who says TB cannot make a story about $8, an open group post and an open FB page.
    And i quote TB
    “In other words, [he’s] unemployed and gets to work a fantasy job that makes no money “thanks to [his] wife’s support.”

    • WeRFucked
      May 26, 2021 at 7:01 am

      LOL. The jealousy of Turtleboy’s success is strong in this one.

  • Julio the spic
    May 25, 2021 at 9:10 pm

    Have you ever noticed that every fucking n!ggers dream is to fuck a white woman
    Like this half spic half n!gger Julio?

    Even if the broad is a big fat tub o shit like this bearded cunt

    • Nat Turner
      May 25, 2021 at 9:40 pm

      Next time I see you down by the schoolyard, Ima whoop your ass!

  • CONN
    May 25, 2021 at 8:15 pm

    I just threw up in my mouth.

  • Fat Albert
    May 25, 2021 at 7:56 pm

    What a fat piece of shit, ohhhhh look how good my nails look! Imagine letting yourself become an obese disgusting mess and thinking having your nails manicured makes a difference, eat a fucking salad every once in awhile tugboat!

  • The Cashell family from Lexington street in woburn
    May 25, 2021 at 7:35 pm

    Those poor kids, I bet that house smells so fucking bad. Tomorrow they will be celebrities in school, if they didn’t know about TB before, they’ll know tomorrow!!! Gotta feel bad for them. That blonde chick, imagine waking up to find that staring at you!

  • Cobb
    May 25, 2021 at 7:01 pm

    Pretty tasty looking welfare burger.

  • Captain Trips
    Say No to Nogs
    May 25, 2021 at 7:00 pm

    Ugly and fat = coalburner.

    Stereotypes always begin with reality.

  • turn your $8 loss into her $100 loss
    May 25, 2021 at 6:22 pm

    This is one of those situations you just keep quiet about, find out where she lives, and then go slash one of her tires some night a couple weeks from now. Maybe some dog shit smeared behind the door handle too lol.

    • Guy from Woburn
      May 25, 2021 at 11:18 pm

      in high school I had people over, and this kid I knew stole a half ounce of weed from my room but I never said anything to him, but for like the next 2 years every time we were ever at his house hanging out I would go to the bathroom and piss in their families mouthwash and rub their toothbrushes in my asscrack and do all kinds of other fucked up shit to their stuff whenever I could lol. If I wasn’t pissing in the mouthwash, I would just piss all over the walls and rugs and into the hamper. I even jerked off and jizzed into his moms or sisters shampoo bottle one time lmao.

      • Mike Gaffney's ED meds
        May 26, 2021 at 2:17 pm

        You’re like a real life Batman. Never change you beautiful angel.

      • Matt Dizio from Woburn
        May 26, 2021 at 2:32 pm

        Wu-town represent.

        I remember at WHS late one night after wrestling practice, I needed to take a massive shit so I went in the girls gym bathroom and took a huge dump on the floor to be funny, and when I went to wipe I noticed there was a grate missing on the air vent so every time I wiped I threw the wads up into the ceiling vent.

        For like 3 weeks later that entire locker room smelled like raw diarrhea shits and no one could figure out why lmao

  • Furious Styles
    May 25, 2021 at 6:10 pm

    Holy shit was TB on his game with this blog. “Fuck a roll when you have two slices of wonder bread” was topped only by “Eyesenhower”.
    That burger right there is exactly what Eddie Murphy described in his standup “Raw” circa 1987. (If you’re young and never heard it, please do).

    Do you think she is pantless or are her shorts being eaten up by her fucking lard?

    I always go to buy something when I do not have the full amount. Fucking poors, they are the worst.

  • Randy Ryder
    North of the Border
    May 25, 2021 at 6:02 pm

    Rhode Island week on TB!

    Maybe UTB can do the live show from the Twin River Casino parking lot, assuming Granny and Grampy Ratchet don’t run his ass over finding a parking spot in the Fire Lane on their way to gamble away their SS and welfare checks.

  • hartf811
    Black death
    May 25, 2021 at 5:58 pm

    End welfare.
    There will be one less generation of fucked up kids but the lack of incentives to spawn for money will make this go away.
    Outlaw ugly white chicks from fucking black and brown vermin could be good interim solution

    • Hu Fartted
      Hu Fartted
      May 25, 2021 at 10:02 pm

      If they’re not tapping those whales it means one of us will have to. No thanks.

    • Hu Fartted
      Sum Ting Wong
      May 25, 2021 at 10:13 pm

      Teaching your children to flip the bird on command for family pictures is just giving them a fast pass to Loserville. Nice parenting, assholes.

  • Jokes
    May 25, 2021 at 5:49 pm

    What do you get when you cross a boon with a polark?

    • my guess
      May 25, 2021 at 5:56 pm

      probably some italian looking mongolid with downs syndrome

    • Try The Veal
      May 25, 2021 at 9:27 pm

      A chimpanski.

  • The Spic Tormentor
    Spic Tormentor
    May 25, 2021 at 5:48 pm

    If poor gutter trash could stop having bi racial kids they can’t afford without government assistance that would be greeaaat.

  • The Canadian Devil
    May 25, 2021 at 5:26 pm

    Those poor kids have about a 3% chance of success max

  • Spear Chucka
    May 25, 2021 at 5:22 pm

    That is one hell of a family tree

  • common sense
    May 25, 2021 at 5:20 pm

    No wonder nobody takes this blog seriously……Crying over random people was worth losing your teaching gig?

    • not so common sense
      May 25, 2021 at 5:44 pm

      More times than not, TB exposes ratchets, cheats, lowlifes and frauds (his blog from earlier today about the people from the Cape is a prime example) and I presume you are one of them, probably the man who cruises rest areas in a fire hat that he did a story on last summer.

      • common sense
        May 25, 2021 at 9:24 pm

        You should have joined me in your policeman’s uniform.

    • Jen Pissaki
      May 25, 2021 at 8:41 pm

      Yet here you are commenting and hanging on every word. Fuck off douche bag

      • common sense
        May 25, 2021 at 9:20 pm

        Go cry to someone that cares….

    • WeRFucked
      May 26, 2021 at 7:06 am

      Sounds like you take this blog more seriously than anyone. Get help. Let it go. Your life has to be more important than a blog, or is it?

      • E Pubis Scrotum
        May 28, 2021 at 9:06 am

        Sometimes a wahman needs to air that thing out down there! Bet that place smells like a fish cannery!!!

  • Great robberies throughout history
    May 25, 2021 at 5:11 pm

    The Great Train Robbery, The Brinks Job, The Gardner Museum Heist and….

    …this thing. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • Jewmerica
    May 25, 2021 at 5:05 pm

    Jewish country cheap fucks.

    • 8 dollars?!
      May 25, 2021 at 5:13 pm

      Jewmerica, I have paid your mom less!

      -Bucky Goldstein

  • Hattie McBaggen
    Hattie McBaggen
    May 25, 2021 at 5:02 pm

    Burgers are best with white bread and fake cheese.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    President Sniffy
    May 25, 2021 at 4:58 pm

    It appears Cindy Flewelling doesn’t wear pants when it gets too hot. Nice!

    May 25, 2021 at 4:57 pm

    She probably learned this behavior from hanging out with black people.

  • Cheesy
    May 25, 2021 at 4:49 pm

    The cheese on that sandwich looks like it’s from her Lunch box from 1993

  • Boston Irish
    Boston Irish
    May 25, 2021 at 4:42 pm

    She needed the 8 dollars for the double whopper meal

  • Metro West Guy
    May 25, 2021 at 4:27 pm

    You think your parents were lousy? Picture being thrown into this chamber of horrors for 18 years and you’ll suddenly have a newfound appreciation for them.

  • Betty Ford
    May 25, 2021 at 4:23 pm

    Eyesenhower? Thats freaking Golem, right here in….wherever the fuck they are.


  • Yeah Man
    May 25, 2021 at 4:23 pm

    It’s ALWAYS a Bulls hat.

  • Beverly Graves
    Kim g
    May 25, 2021 at 4:19 pm

    What is wrong with people wow! How do you even have the cajones to put $2 in the damn mailbox? Lol what a pos

  • Nog Stomper
    May 25, 2021 at 4:11 pm

    That Alicia chick with the big eyes looks like Steve buscemi’s retarded inbred cousin

    • Sup
      May 25, 2021 at 4:35 pm

      She has the head of an ugly young baby bird.

      • Tater Salad
        May 25, 2021 at 5:52 pm

        Now that’s funny right there!

      • Captain Trips
        Captain Trips
        May 25, 2021 at 6:21 pm

        That’s a woodpecker!

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