Hoodrat Heroes

Bovine Bartender 3rd Hand Story Goes Viral On Facebook About Door To Door Salesmen Knocking People Out With Chloroform Laced Masks And Robbing Homes All Over Rhode Island


The Pumpkin Spice Mafia has been relatively quiet during the commie cold crisis, but they have been brought back to life by this woman right here:

Her name is Rae Desrosiers from Johnston, RI. And she decided to post this yesterday, which got thousands of shares and comments before being taken down.

Breaking News: Woman hears ridiculous, unbelievable rumor about door to door mask salesmen knocking women out with chloroform laced masks, doesn’t question it at all, and asks everyone to share it because we don’t have enough unnecessary panic as it is right now.

As you can see, over 2K people shared this post in a matter of hours, despite it obviously being complete bullshit. This is the source:

Who wore it better?

Anyone who believes a chick with eyebrows like that shouldn’t be allowed to vote. Not that these people vote anyway, but if they wanted to technically they could.

She’s also a manager at a bartending school, which is still selling training classes and scheduling them for a time when there is no guarantee that the quarantine will be over.

I didn’t get a chance to read the comments because people just sent the screenshot of her post, but I would imagine that almost everyone who responded, shared, and believed it, were female. Sorry ladies, but you know that only women ever fall for this shit. I’ve seen this a million times before:

“Uh muhhh gahhhd, this is like totally sex traffuckin!!”

“Ladies, be careful out there and don’t try on any masks”

“I’ve seen a lot of people posting about this and heard from muh girlfriend who is a CNA that it’s true.”

Actually, scratch that:

Turns out men can join the Pumpkin Spice Mafia Commie Cold Chapter too.


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32 Comment(s)
  • Uncle Leo
    April 10, 2020 at 2:00 pm

    Nice brows lol

  • Silencio Dogood
    April 8, 2020 at 10:46 pm

    Another spot on icon, the hog’s fatty tissue rendered out of the picture, but her fathead thoughts remain, breathlessly typed after a walk to the fridge, and infecting the internet with the Bovine-19 virus.

  • Bob
    April 8, 2020 at 9:45 pm

    Is turtleboy that dumb??? The post that they cite from Dan Valois was obviously him sarcastically mocking the situation. He even says “Special kind of stupid”.

  • Me
    April 8, 2020 at 8:02 pm

    Look at them pupils. Holy shit she is high.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      April 8, 2020 at 8:08 pm

      I always thought opiate addicts were skinny. The only thing small on her are her pupils!

  • Captain Trips
    Porcine Princess
    April 8, 2020 at 7:56 pm

    You have it all wrong. She’s not really a pig. She’s just hammin it up! So what if she’s been porked a lot in the past. Telling her that is just bacon her feel bad!

    Never rind what they say girl.

    Now…. back to your pen and eat your mash bitch!

  • Cousin Eddie
    April 8, 2020 at 7:51 pm

    Pretty sure the Facebook comment you cite from Dan Valois was sarcasm. Rather obvious too.

  • Is this beast fucking David Leavitt?
    April 8, 2020 at 6:53 pm

    If someone is dumb enough to put on a dirty mask some stranger hands them, it’s unlikely they have anything worth stealing.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    April 8, 2020 at 6:44 pm

    I bet the inside of her uterus looks like a moldy cave

    April 8, 2020 at 6:29 pm

    You guys see how down right nasty this pig bitch looks with make up on? Now picture what the wahhhman you guys think look good with make up on look like with out the make up on. Those same wahhman you find attractive with make up on really look like her under all that make up. If you do not believe me than please go watch some before and after videos on YouTube of wahhhman who put makeup on. So many dudes duped by a product made of whales blubber. Some of you men have no god damn standards and wonder why wahhhman walk all over you.

    On a more serious note,

    divorce filings are going to go up. Look at china. Gentleman, time to get a leg up and protect what you have built before big daddy government bends you over the defendants desk and divorce rapes you in the family court. Family court what an oxymoron moron!
    I have no children and have not been married but if you do and you’re paying child support or alimony please protect your self during this time especially if you’re out of work. Please fill out the child support modification form and mail it into the court. I’m not sure what to do in the instance you pay alimony so might want to give it a looking into. Sorry cant help you there. If you have a case with dor than you need to send them the form. You guys need to do this stat as the judge will have to run the support order retroactively from the date you have filled and mailed the paper work in. Please gentlemen take care of your self and your children during these times! Remember they is strong independent wahhhman and dont need no man. Do not do a thing for them during these times or any other time but especially now, or else you might catch the rona from the 70 other dudes she has been corona and chilling with among some other things that burn or bubble o and dont forget, there is always the ninja you can catch too. If shes out of toilet paper, food etc tell her it’s not your problem. Tell that Carol baskins you have plenty of tp, food etc and then hang up the phone and block her. If shes keeping your kids from you during these times be vigilant as child abuse rates are going up. Call the police and have them do a wellbeing check on your children. Not only will it make her go nuts and the neighborhood wonder what’s up and keep a watchful eye but you will know if your children are safe!

    Even though I dont know any of you
    I love you all! even the completely retarded ones who think it wont happen too them because “sheeeeee llluvvvvvsssss me and said so” lol yeah ok. To you dudes who are in relationships remember shes not yours it’s just your turn!

    For the CANT UNDERSTAND NORMAL THINKERS out there who hate me. It’s all good you only hate me because I know your nature and games and the MANipulation you all play on men. You only hate me because I put your bullshit on blast and now your husbands and boyfriends know too.

    • Ghost Cowboy
      April 8, 2020 at 7:17 pm

      You nailed it partner.

  • Kate Peter’s Bleached Asshole
    April 8, 2020 at 6:26 pm

    Why is a good looking man that close to her?

  • Gross
    April 8, 2020 at 5:33 pm

    She is NOT Pumpkin Spice Mafia. More like Blumpkin Spice Mafia….

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    April 8, 2020 at 5:24 pm

    Ironically, she would have to ply me with a whole lorry load of chloroform and a gallon of Henny before I would even attempt to ride that bulbous mound of sweating blubber. Hard pass.

    And I’m not very fussy.


    • Hugh Mungous
      April 8, 2020 at 9:22 pm

      I was always a big fan of red Lorry yellow Lorry, just saying

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    April 8, 2020 at 5:11 pm

    Rae, you are so brave to post this. The evil doers could target you. You are a hero for warning us and keeping our community safe. Thank you for be so selfless.

  • Judge dread
    April 8, 2020 at 4:10 pm

    I never would have thought walking around in mass in a Tyvek suit wouldn’t bat someone’s eye.

    Is this the new normal? Everyone wants to get out of their homes this is almost the perfect time to throw a “Yanni-core” rave.

    It’s because people are so bored they would literally listen to yanni-core (big Rave room trance from 20 years ago that makes males metro-sexual), that way would socially engage themselves into this faggotry. You,be all heard it before- you know what I’m talking about.

  • Guinea Geisha
    April 8, 2020 at 3:51 pm

    What if the Coronavirus is the 0.01% of germs that hand sanitizer doesn’t kill? The irony.

  • No Fat Broads
    April 8, 2020 at 3:24 pm

    Wait, I thought Shrek was supposed to be green. Must have faded.

  • Elegant Elliot Offen
    April 8, 2020 at 2:44 pm

    She looks like the last shit I took.

  • Rockets Redglare
    April 8, 2020 at 2:41 pm

    That tube she’s sucking on is like the one they use to artificially inseminate cows. Oh wait, she is a cow. On sale now at Tractor Farm Supply…

  • Boston Irish
    Boston Irish
    April 8, 2020 at 2:39 pm

    What a cum dumpster

  • Chris Sales Elbow
    April 8, 2020 at 2:23 pm

    Enough of these sloths with their duck faced pout selfies!
    They look horrid.

  • Eddie Spagetti
    April 8, 2020 at 2:19 pm

    She has that look like her breath smells like dog shit.

  • Daniel Sullivan
    Sprinkle Pig
    April 8, 2020 at 2:16 pm

    Take it from me. Pigs recognize other pigs. She is a pig!

  • whatevuh
    April 8, 2020 at 2:00 pm

    How do you make 10 pounds of fat look better? Put a nipple on it.

  • Kate Batista
    Chloroform me
    April 8, 2020 at 1:59 pm

    Honestly, a chloroform mark sounds amazing at this point! Send them my way!

  • Shemp Howard
    April 8, 2020 at 1:58 pm

    How much does she charge to haunt a house?

  • Hugh Mungous
    April 8, 2020 at 1:54 pm

    Those eyebrows remind me of one of the aliens in killer clowns from outer space

  • bloop
    April 8, 2020 at 1:51 pm

    Are you telling me that when someone I don’t know, knocks on my door with a mask to sell me and tells me to ‘try it on’, I’m not supposed to do what they say? Are you sure? How else is a door to door mask salesman going to make any money? How can people be this stupid and still be able to function in society?

  • Ratchetsaurous Rex
    April 8, 2020 at 1:47 pm

    Dem brows doe. Lord help us all.

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    April 8, 2020 at 1:41 pm

    Jesus Christ, this is what happens when people have too much time on their hands .. she’s Pig Bitch first class.

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