Brian Boitano Coming Out As Gay And Going To Russia Just Won The Cold War

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A third athlete on the American Olympic delegation has revealed that he is gay. Figure skater Brian Boitano announced that he is homosexual in a statement released today in response to his inclusion on the presidential delegation to Sochi, where Russia’s anti-gay propaganda laws will be in effect. ‘I am many things: a son, a brother and uncle, an athlete, a cook, an author and being gay is just one part of who I am,’ the 1988 Olympic gold medalist wrote.‘First and foremost I am an American athlete and I am proud to live in a country that encourages diversity, openness and tolerance.’… He had never addressed his personal life before today, but felt compelled to do so in light of the Sochi Games. ‘It has been my experience from competing around the world and in Russia that Olympic athletes can come together in friendship, peace and mutual respect regardless of their individual country’s practices,’ he wrote.

America sending three gay athletes as representatives, instead of the President, to a country where being gay is worse than being female and having an opinion in any Muslim country, is easily the biggest power move in the history of international diplomacy. Think the Cold War is over? Think again. Instead of threatening them with missiles this time though we’re threatening them with something they fear even more: gay people. Just a reminder to Russia that there isn’t shit we can do about their archaic laws, but we’ve always been and will continue to be your international Daddy. You think your anti-gay laws are gonna keep gay Americans from coming to Russia? Think again. We’ll be in the pool, in the clubhouse, in the showers. Everywhere. Just spreading our gay tolerance all of your country to remind you who actually won the Cold War.

And I’m sorry, how is Brian Boitano being gay news? Did anyone honestly think otherwise?


This is probably the obvious news in the history of the world. And newsflash Putin – there care tons of gay dudes in Russia. They’re probably infiltrated your close friends and family too. They just have to keep their lifestyles completely hidden because they know you’ll send their asses to Siberia if they come out of the closet.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going. Go.

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1 Comment(s)
  • Joey G
    December 20, 2013 at 11:21 pm

    You can say what you want about Obama, but he tends to be a pretty good agitator from time to time. Remember when Mitt Romney said that the Russians would see “more backbone” if he became president? He never would have done this. This is the best annoyance to Putin and the communists since we funded the Mujahideen.

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