Hoodrat Heroes

Broccoli Bite Boricuas Square Off With Pajama Pandejas In Lawrence Market Basket In Front Of Small Children Presumably Over Who Stole Whose Food Stamps

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Meanwhile at the Market Basket in Lawrence…..

I don’t know who stole whose food stamps because we don’t see what led up to it, but safe to say no one who participated in that clamathon has even remotely considered using birth control.

Market Basket is clean, Market Basket is friendly, and Market Basket is miraculously cheap as shit despite all of that. I have no idea how they stay in business but I thank God they do, and I feel bad for everyone that doesn’t have a Market Basket within 10 minutes of their home. I feel blessed to live in the Mingya Valley when I hear harrowing stories about people who have to go to Stop n Shop and Price Chopper. Must be rough.

But that video right there is why Lawrence doesn’t deserve a Market Basket.  Lawrence is naughty as shit, and when you’re naughty you get Shaw’s. End of story.

The funniest and saddest part about that video was how unfazed pretty much everyone was by it, including the baby who clearly has come to expect ratchet rowdydowns every time these broccoli bite boricuas take her grocery shopping.

Although my personal favorite was the cashier who smiled the whole time and simply could not be any less disinterested in this obviously common occurrence taking place right next to her in the checkout line.

Girl was just scanning groceries and shit the whole time like she was completely unaware that these deep fried cheesehogs were being corralled by the Artie T Mafia directly next to her checkout line.

You can tell this wasn’t the first time the guy in the red coat had to corral a wild foodstampopotamus.

Loved the guy in the orange hate watching in disbelief as he sees what living in Lawrence and eating nothing but Pringles and government cheese has done to Storm from X-Men.

Of course they’re living in a section 8 swamphole in Lawrence, but they gotta wear their Jordan’s out to Market Basket.

Because….priorities.

Bottom line, these bapoons should be happy they have a Market Basket, and quite frankly they don’t deserve it. Chop it down and put up a Price Rite.

45 Comment(s)
  • Rachetquettas
    November 18, 2018 at 10:21 pm

    I didn’t know that Thanksgiving was such a popular holiday on the island.

  • Hugh Jass
    November 18, 2018 at 10:02 pm

    Best part is the cashier in glasses on register 3 with the strong ass game. After she jumps into the middle of the fray, she gains separation of the hostiles and then holds it by turning her back to one combatant and from there holds her position uncannily. When combatant slides right, she slides right even though she can’t see her. It’s all feel. She neutralizes for the whole time her like she’s boxing out in the paint. She’s not a widebody – it’s all technique. That’s the Market Basket difference right there – it’s all about training.

  • Great Chow
    November 18, 2018 at 8:38 pm

    The Artie T mafia line killed me! Unfortunately for me I have to travel and the closest MB to me is Broke-town … I mean Brockton which I have to get up at the crack of dawn to get to before all the rachets wake up and infest the place. 

  • "Ice up"
    November 18, 2018 at 8:37 pm

    While all this was going on i wonder how much product was rifled from that store in the process. Personally if i was there during that melee i would have left my carriage in line and walked out and curse at myself for shopping in lawrence. Fuck, theres one on the n.andover line which is better and another in methuen which is much better. Or better yet, drive 20 mins and shop at the 2 in salem nh on 28. I hate lawrence but am glad it exists otherwise the 100k plus residents of that city would be forced to live in nicer communities.

  • Rusty Leakman, Town Water Department
    November 18, 2018 at 5:13 pm

    I’M SHOCKED AND APPALLED! Can someone please tell me why in the world something like this ever happened on the PocaCUNTis Reservation in the first place? These must be right wing radicals paid for by the Trump administration. Trying to make the people who run this state look bad. We all know that real caravan members are just looking for asylum, peace, and lots of free stuff… Fucking Republicans dressed up like third world scumbags trying to wreck everything. Nice try. Can’t fool me.
    I voted for Liz Warren, one of the most honest fake injuns to ever send up fake smoke signals. For the love of God, keep voting for Democrat cheats and fake injuns so this nonsense stops!

  • Datruth
    November 18, 2018 at 1:48 pm

    Just fight in parking lot and leave everyone else alone.

  • Lily White
    November 18, 2018 at 11:47 am

    This has nothing to do with border control. These are Puerto Ricans. They have fucked up this state beyond belief….and you are right…NONE use birth control because having babies they don’t take care of or raise properly is how they increase their monthly benefits.

    To quote one of the best lines from another Turtlerider……”Z factor” in all its glory. ‘Nuf said,

  • Most discerning shopper
    November 18, 2018 at 10:53 am

    This folks is why i shop at Wegmans….

  • whatevuh
    November 18, 2018 at 7:40 am

    This must be the ones I heard about that got through the border from the caravan . . . fucking savages.

  • Price Gouged
    November 18, 2018 at 5:12 am

    Stop & Shop ate my soul and used a coupon to do it. Still, it’s preferable to this…

  • Holly
    November 18, 2018 at 12:12 am

    They did this in a public place in front of children and elderly people and people trying to make a living. I’m disgusted in these nasty hood rat bitches. Someone please take their food stamps away please. Tired of my hard earned money getting taxed to go to waste of life trash like this. Fucking ghetto whores..

  • Jack Straw from Wichita
    November 17, 2018 at 11:37 pm

    Fucking third world fucking animals.

  • Slah
    November 17, 2018 at 4:54 pm

    Shit… they dont even get price rite. Save a lot for these hoes…

  • So, Fucking Do Something
    November 17, 2018 at 4:14 pm

    Law enforcement can’t be present at all times. Take it upon yourself to subdue criminals with whatever means you have at you disposal at the time.

    If you don’t, you are metaphorically defined as a pussy.

  • Walter "I can't believe I ate just ate one out" Bird
    November 17, 2018 at 3:16 pm

    Fucking democrats and their open borders. Fucking Kennedy’s fucked up this country big time.

  • Ebenezer Screw
    November 17, 2018 at 2:15 pm

    Thank fuck I don’t go anywhere near that cesspool.

  • Scott
    November 17, 2018 at 1:46 pm

    Diversity + proximity = something something. Calling your realtor mainly.

  • God
    November 17, 2018 at 1:38 pm

    Bigotry in the comments

    • Burlando Castile
      November 17, 2018 at 2:31 pm

      Piggotry in the aisles. What’s your point? You act TB famous, you’re gonna get TB famous. 

      There’s a reason why you have Yahaira, Janeth (probably supposed to be Janet, but moms was creatively ignorant) and Suhaily acting like PR nightmares  and you have an Alexandra Ocasio Cortez and a Maria Elvira Salazar running for Congress. 

      The former are animals with food stamp fantasies while the latter are ladies. Piggotry in one and normalcy in the other. 

    • Ebenezer Screw
      November 17, 2018 at 3:58 pm

      Right, focus on that. Ignorance and idiocy happened in the grocery store, around people that are just trying to get their shit and get out. But you’re fine with that, aren’t you? Probably do the same shit.

  • Dearest Democrat politicians :
    November 17, 2018 at 12:51 pm

    Thanks for being so inclusive and kind. All of this “brown diversity” that you are all so eagerly sponsoring into our country is clearly making our nation much nicer !
    As you can see from this video, this is the sort of folks we need more of !
    As a taxpayer, I appreciate all of your help in keeping our borders open, so that we can allow so many of these fine, upstanding people in !
    It’s truly wonderful that you have the interest of all of your taxpayers, who pay for the pleasure of this “diversity”, in mind !
    Thank you, Democrats !
    Keep up the good work !
    Your superior intellect and keen sense of inclusion is truly improving the lives of your hardworking, taxpaying citizens !

  • Judge dread
    November 17, 2018 at 12:50 pm

    I feel sorry for the manager in the red jacket. He must be like what, 65? He has to deal with this hood booger shit instead of managing the store.

    The people involved should have been photographed and issued trespass orders to never go there again. But it’s lawerence so it’s like whatever. If this happened at say a Whole Foods in Cambridge, the hood boogers would be banned for life, photographed, dna swabbed, finger printed, full body search, and probably arrested for outstanding warrants.

  • We are fucked !
    November 17, 2018 at 12:37 pm

    Savages in their native habitat. Doing only what they know how to do best : be savages.
    God, I just love being a taxpayer !
    Can the politicians in this godforsaken state please fuck me in the ass a couple of more times?
    Please and Thank you!

  • Piss Flippers and shaved labs
    November 17, 2018 at 12:16 pm

    The stink coming out of those sweaty clamboxes must be awful!

    • Captain Trips
      November 17, 2018 at 2:53 pm

      Make a week old dead collie in the Nevada desert smell like Chanel No. 5

  • Hannaford Shopper
    November 17, 2018 at 11:17 am

    Where’s the on duty police officer? The Elm Street MB here in Manchester has one from open to close. If they can justify having one in Manchvegas, then there should be an entire SWAT team dedicated to Lawrence.

    • Manuel Labor, III
      November 17, 2018 at 12:09 pm

      Never mind a SWAT Team, there should be an ICE outpost installed in the parking lot. Lawrence, MA is a perfect case study of the down-slide of America. If you have an IQ over 90, can speak intelligible English and you’re still living there I would be compelled to ask why.

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    November 17, 2018 at 10:50 am

    At around the 2min mark or so it looks like a couple of the hardasses were using sign language at each other. LOL

  • mrme
    November 17, 2018 at 10:48 am

    Coming to a city near you soon….Wonder what political party they support?

    • Captain Trips
      November 17, 2018 at 2:51 pm

      Why these peeps are the Lizzie Warren fan club!

  • Ratchet city
    November 17, 2018 at 10:48 am

    Pretty sure there was a Shaw’s in Lawrence but due to the fact there were more shoplifters than customers, it was shut down. Can’t imagine why? This crew seems like such an upstanding bunch

  • Captain Trips
    November 17, 2018 at 10:17 am

    Lotsa money for hair dye, pajamas, and Jordans

    No money for food

    I love paying taxes

    • Anonymous
      November 17, 2018 at 3:13 pm

      Great post!

      Don’t forget tattoos. Can’t see ’em but they usually have ’em. Also cellphones, jewelry, etc.

    • DEATHBOT
      November 17, 2018 at 4:17 pm

      ANGER.

      MUST DESTROY RACHETS.

  • Bob Barker
    November 17, 2018 at 10:04 am

    Great writing on this one and pointing out the Jordans. Do the hair dye salons take food stamps too?

    In the end these ratchets all have the same problem. Their mouths, legs, and vaginas are all huge and they can’t keep any of them closed. You have to feel for those kids, bad genetics and this is how the grow up learning to live. They have no goddamn chance.

    And don’t forget to have your ratchets spayed and neutered…

  • Jesse Jackson (Rev)
    November 17, 2018 at 10:03 am

    Like watching an episode of Shaka Zulu except there’s no wild game and spears… Lawd have mercy! This MB has sho gone crazy!

  • Ann Flaherty
    November 17, 2018 at 9:46 am

    Video needs English subtitles

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      November 17, 2018 at 10:47 am

      You deaf? 90% was just “Wus up?” or “Wus up, bitch?”

      • Hannaford Shopper
        November 17, 2018 at 11:12 am

        Right? Clearly there wasn’t any fighting. This is just how people get acquainted in Lawrence.

      • Ann Flaherty
        November 17, 2018 at 11:37 am

        Hearing is fine, thank you Hugh. Wus up was the closest those shoppers came to English. Except for when one of them called another a bitch. Or was it bich? Or beetch?

  • DJ
    November 17, 2018 at 9:24 am

    I felt bad for those two little ones stuck in the middle of that chaos. Hearing her crying was so sad. I was happy to see that an employee finally went and took her out of the mix. These people acted like animals.. The pretty cashier was my favorite. She was like seriously I am just trying to do my job bitches… Lol

    • Rachetquettas
      November 18, 2018 at 10:27 pm

      Police should charge the parents, aunties or whoever was supposed to be watching the children, with child endangerment.

      Great maternal instinct…one child standing by herself in one aisle; the little one in the cart with her elementary aged sister, who had more sense than any of the borricas, and moved her sister and herself back from the fighting. These poor children…

  • phong
    November 17, 2018 at 9:20 am

    Lets see:
    Boy they sure are serious about 10 items or less.
    She was mad because the other girl got the last rockin raspberry kool ade, no redying her hair now.
    Yeah, try to outlaw plastic bags.

    I remember when a kid throwing candy tantrum was a big deal.

  • Mayor of Jamestown
    November 17, 2018 at 9:04 am

    Welfare reform: you don’t work you don’t eat.

    • Ratchet city
      November 17, 2018 at 10:50 am

      My apologies mayor, I was trying to thumbs up but hit the down

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