Buffalo Bills Fan Gets Super Bowl Champs Tattoo, Other Fans Say Magical Things About Bills, Patriots, And Tom Brady’s Sexuality

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The Score: The Buffalo Bills will have their hands full in the AFC East with the New England Patriots, but one fan seems pretty confident about the upcoming season.

A likely diehard Bills fan got the tattoo in the picture above, betting his skin that his team will win the 2015 Super Bowl. Considering the Bills finished last in the division in 2013 at 6-10, this fan is quite ambitious.

With hashtag shout-outs to rookie wide receiver Sammy Watkins and quarterback EJ Manuel, he clearly believes in the potential between those two.


Can’t say I’m at all surprised about this for two main reasons: 1) Getting Super Bowl prediction tattoos is all the rage in the NFL right now, and 2) Buffalo fans are a special breed of dingleberries.

Look, some jackass in Seattle last year got this tattoo when the season started. So when the Super Bowl came around some nimrod from Denver had to show him that only his body could be used for bold Super Bowl predictions:


But guess what Buffalo? Both of those teams actually had a shot at winning the Super Bowl going into the year. You have no shot. That’s not really a debatable opinion either. As sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, the Bills will not come anywhere near the Super Bowl. Can’t decide who’s a bigger moron, the Bills fan tattoo guy, or this idiot:


SMH. Look, you morons are ruining this once proud tradition. The only people who can get tattoos like this are teams like the Ravens, Patriots, 49ers, Seahawks, Broncos, Packers, Saints, and maybe a couple other teams. At least then it still means something. You’re taking a risk, because no matter what team you like, odds are they ain’t winning the Super Bowl.

But this? Detroit and Buffalo? You guys are making a mockery of the Super Bowl prediction tattoo game. Everyone in Buffalo gets a Bills tattoo at some point in their life:


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It’s a rite of passage for the males. But this dooshnozzle was clearly just trying to one up the other dingleberry who got the Ralph Wilson tattoo last week:


At least Ralph Wilson is dead so this guy will never end up regretting his tattoo as much as this Bills fan:


Until I saw this picture I had no idea any white people were supporting OJ Simpson during that trial.

Here’s the thing though. I’m part of a rag-tag posse of Worcester goons who makes the annual pilgrimage to Buffalo every year. If you’ve never been to a game in Ralph Wilson stadium, you’re not really a Patriots fan. Sorry. It’s like Red Sox fans who haven’t been to Yankee stadium. You’re willing to go to games when everyone’s on your side, but if you’re not willing to step into the Lion’s Den, then how strong is your fandom really?

And I would easily put Buffalo as the most dangerous place in the world for Patriots fans.  You’re safer wearing an Obama shirt in Alabama. People from Buffalo have no soul. They are all grizzled, blue-collar, Patriot-hating, politically incorrect dooshnozzles. They all work in the same mill that their Lithuanian great grandfather worked in when he come to America with a dream.

This is a team that lost FOUR Super Bowls in a row. A lot of you were young back then or don’t really remember that. I was too young myself to really appreciate the gravity of how truly, truly terrible that was. When the Pats lost in 2007 I felt like my guts were ripped out. Then when they lost in 2011 it was twice as bad. But at least I could look back and think of those three Super Bowls and duck boat parades and smile.

What has happened to these people since? Well, the last time they were in the playoffs in 1999 the Music City Miracle happened. And any time a “miracle” is mentioned in a sports highlight, Buffalo is most likely on the losing end of said miracle.

Music City Miracle

Did I mention how much the weather blows in Buffalo? You think the winter sucks in Worcester? Try going to Buffalo in December. Do you understand what you get when you combine the shittiest weather in the lower 48 states, with 4 straight Super Bowl losses, 15 straight losing seasons, Jon Bon Jovi threatening to buy your team and move it to Toronto just to upset people, and two penciled in ass kickings by the Patriots and their metrosexual quarterback every single year?

That was a trick question. You can’t even begin to imagine what this does to people until you visit Buffalo. So I’m telling all you Patriots fans out there right now. Man up. Go online right now and buy your ticket to to the Columbus Day broo-ha-ha. I’ll be there with the crew seeing how many times we can get Buffalo hooligans to call us “faggots” in front of their children. (yes this happens at least seven or eight times per game, usually after the Patriots score)

I’ll give Buffalo fans credit for this though – it doesn’t stop them from loving this God forsaken team. Ralph Wilson stadium will be packed when we come up there to whitewash them, even if if the Bills are 0-6. Because when New England comes to town, the world stops in Buffalo. A couple years back we blew a 21-0 lead and lost to those ragtags. You can’t even fathom what that felt like. We literally hopped a fence and ran as fast as we could from there rather than deal with the wrath of Buffalo fans.

And no matter what, these people are optimistic about this team. At least until October. Here’s what they’re saying now:

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Oh God.

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Ya see that? Hoping EJ Manuel turns into Matt Schaub. That’s what Buffalo fans are hoping for going into this season. Matt fucking Schaub. I hope Brady never retires.

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I’m not sure what this sentence means, but at least this guy’s expectations are grounded in reality. I don’t even pay attention to who gets second every year. All I know is Pats are guaranteed to win it. Have the Bills ever finished second? The Jets and Dolphins have been known to epically suck from time to time.

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These poor, poor people. Why do you do this to yourselves? WHY????

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Yea nerds. Didn’t you guys read that Sam Monson’s story about Brady not being a Top 5 quarterback anymore? You guys think the Pats are winning the AFC East? HA. I want what you’re smoking. Bills all the way. Duh!!

Then things started to get depressing on the Bills Mafia Facebook page (yes that exists) which I have successfully infiltrated. This question was posed….Screen Shot 2014-07-26 at 11.52.06 PM

You knew the responses were gonna be fantastic. Buffalo didn’t let me down:

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Imagine losing a Super Bowl when your idiot kicker misses a chipshot. The only thing that sucks worse than that is getting your ass thoroughly demolished in the next three straight Super Bowls.

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Of course you did Willard. Of course you did.

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Yea but 84 was a great year for Buffalo. Less than 100 inches of snow that winter and NAFTA didn’t exist yet so everyone in Buffalo still had a job at the factory.

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I was there for this. I shit you not, this was their Super Bowl. People were screaming obscenities, crying, and having wild buffalo orgies in the parking lot while singing, “Hey-a-a-a, Hey-a-a-a. Let’s go Buff-a-lo.”

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There’s just been so much wonderful misery, but this about sums it up right? All those terrible draft picks, yet they’re still talking about Sammy Watkins like he’s Andre Reed.

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It’s like watching your first born get eaten by lions.

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Shawn Voos is so Buffalo it hurts.

Then someone posted this article from a Philadelphia newspaper that predicted five teams that were already out of it this year, despite the season not starting yet. Predictably Buffalo was one of those five teams. This didn’t go over very well…..

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Brandon King is EXACTLY the type of person you will meet in Buffalo. Throwing around fantastic insults like “dick sandwiches” like it ain’t no thing. If I had to eat a dick sandwich every time some nudnik from Buffalo told me to eat a dick sandwich, I’d be throwing up dick sandwiches for months.

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Lisa Crough is your standard Buffalo Mom. No shame dropping muted f bombs on the internet right next to her name and picture of her chidden:


See that kid right there? He seems like a nice kid right? Stay far away from him, because that kid WILL tell you to eat a dick sandwich if he sees you in a Patriots jersey.

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Ya got that message from Michelle, Philadelphia? Your entire city can eat a dick. Hell, you can cut them in half and make a dick sandwich out of it if you like, but you WILL finish you meal. Dickwad!!!

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LOL. Classic Buffalo. Sure these writers are just looking at the fact that the Bills haven’t come close to contending in 15 years and are led by an unproven quarterback and a coach you’ve never heard of. But nevertheless. Fuck those guys. GO BILLS!!

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Yea bros. The Bills are stacked this year. Everyone knows that. BTW, Fony Terrantino’s profile picture is as Buffalo as it gets:


See that girl shotgunning the beer? She will make you her bitch.

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Newsflash – Denver and New England are guaranteed to make the playoffs. Obviously. Seriously though, how can these people NOT know that? Like, look at this dolt:

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The Patriots could go 5-11? Yea definitely. That shit happens all the time. Sure the Pats lost Tom Brady in ’08 and still went 11-5. But nevertheless, anything is possible. So ON reality, the Bills will definitely go 9-7 this year and split with the Pats. That’s called “optimism” in Buffalo.

They’re not too happy about the prospect of Bon Jovi buying Ralph Wilson’s team and moving it to Toronto either:

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^^^That is an ACTUAL billboard currently erected in Buffalo. You can tell because it says Douchebag on it. Even newborn babies in Buffalo hate Bon Jovi:

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Here’s some more amazing things Buffalo fans say on Facebook:

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Yea, does anyone have a “This is dick, dick is a pats fan, don’t be a dick” shirt I can borrow? Mine’s in the wash. Guess I’ll have to wear this one instead:


I’m not exaggerating when I say that everyone in Ralph Wilson stadium is wearing a shirt like this, or a Bills jersey with a player’s name who was supposed to be the next big thing but is no longer with the team (Paul Pozluzny, Marshawn Lynch, J.P. Losman, Willis McGahee, and many more).

This shirt’s always a popular one for Christmas dinner:

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Like, you can’t even understand the level of hatred these people have for Tom Brady. Imagine living in a blue-collar city your entire life, and every single year this team from Foxboro comes into your town and steamrolls the shit out of with this San Francisco pretty boy. The hatred is like nothing you will ever see in sports. Even the bars get into it:Screen Shot 2014-07-27 at 12.29.52 AM

Love this gem:

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And the only thing better than this meme

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Were the shameless comments that came after it:

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Actually I take that back. This one might be even more abrasive:

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Are you ready for a weekend full of this Patriots fans? Check out these wonderful Buffalo babes you can pull down at the Buffalo Ball if you play your cards right:

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She hasn’t been traded for three goats yet gentlemen. Let the courting begin!!

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Real original guys. Just like this:

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When your team sucks every year, all you have to look forward to in the offseason is making Tom Brady is gay memes. Gotta love it.

If you really wanna headache check out this diatribe from Bills diehard Michael McCracken:

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Ya got all that. This guy just proved why the Bills will win the Super Bowl in the longest run on sentence in world history. After all, they have Pats reject Brandon Spikes now. How can they possibly lose?

And apparently they heard that Darrell Revis picked off Tom Brady twice in practice yesterday:

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Bad news Buffalo – Revis plays for the Patriots now. If he picked off Brady then what do you think is gonna happen when he’s matched up a rookie wide receiver and EJ Manuel? Dick sandwich city – that’s what’s gonna happen.

So who’s up for the Buffalo challenge this year? Do it. If you survive, it will be an experience you will never forget.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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13 Comment(s)
  • Cassie
    March 8, 2017 at 8:16 pm

    I enjoyed the picture of my mom and I being silly and you warping it into a visual of all bills fans. Thanks for being so cruel. You must be pretty empty inside. Sorry it took me 2 years to find this dump of a page where you literally screenshot and steal fans posts in a fan page. So creative.

  • Tawmy Brades
    July 29, 2014 at 10:58 am

    This was all funny, but as a Pats fan, and someone whose been to about half the stadiums in the NFL, I don’t understand why you pick on them in particular.

    Buffalo fans are far from the only fans who are abrasive, rude, and hate Tom Brady. Have you ever been to Cleveland? New York for either team? Baltimore, Washington, Philly? All of these teams have fans who are ruthless and will threaten to beat the piss out of you for suggesting you might be rooting for another team. New England has absolutely been guilty of it too.

    The thing is, getting hammered and yelling obnoxious obscenities just because, and being obnoxious on social media about their team are just activities that attract trashy people. But every team has those trash fans who do it. I get the Bills fans are easy to make fun of because of how bad they’ve been for a long time, and how sad it is they’ve had to resort to considering 9-7 a big step in the right direction. But there are no more trash fans there than anywhere else I’ve been, trust me.

    I went to school there so I guess I’ve got a soft spot. Lot’s of great people there who don’t fall into the stereotype and believe it or not the city is coming back pretty strongly right now, and is not the hellhole it once was.

    But in the end, Go Tommy B.

  • July 28, 2014 at 12:41 am

    Remember when Larry used to come to Buffalo?

    • Joey G
      July 28, 2014 at 9:28 am

      Yeah, but I don’t think you could order the Dick Sandwich Platter back then.

  • Babi Mac
    July 27, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    Turtleboy bus trip to Buffalo? Challenge: TB eats a dick sandwich in front of all if the Pats lose

    • Joey G
      July 27, 2014 at 8:14 pm

      We can’t do bus trips anymore… a couple of years ago someone ordered a bunch of porno to a hotel room and Fox Tours got the bill. From that point on we haven’t been allowed to take the bus.

  • Beetle
    July 27, 2014 at 9:34 am

    I ate a dick sandwich once… Anything in sandwich form doesn’t stand a chance when I’m around.

  • Wabbitt
    July 27, 2014 at 4:29 am

    I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard in weeks. I was in tears over the dick sandwiches. And I’m not going to lie – a couple of those Brady is gay memes were so “bad funny” that I almost choked on my soda.

    Shit, if I could afford to pay for tickets and then schlep out to the asshole of the universe – I’d take the challenge.

    • Joey G
      July 27, 2014 at 10:30 am

      Afford it? My bar tab last year was 30 bucks for the whole weekend. I lost more than that gambling on beer pong Saturday night.

      • Wabbitt
        July 27, 2014 at 9:53 pm

        Dude I’m one of the working poor, Joey. I can’t afford to miss work, hitch a ride to the dick sandwich capitol of the world, and pay for tickets to see the Pats kick the ever loving fuck out of the Bills. Unless TB has room for me to hitch a ride on the magical turtle. Which I doubt. I’ve seen the turtle and it is not as large as it is magical.

        • Joey G
          July 28, 2014 at 9:27 am

          Sorry man, just saying that you can get by in Buffalo by finding loose change between the couch cushions, returning deposit bottles, and selling “Brady Sucks Cock” t-shirts and Dick Sandwiches in your spare time. Just a thought… or you can always hitch a ride on the magic turtle, just not the Fox Tours bus after the porno incident.

          • Wabbitt
            July 29, 2014 at 6:16 pm

            There’s a lot of overhead in a business like that. Getting those shirts printed and acquiring the dicks for the dick sandwiches.

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