Buffalo Bills Fans Continue To Finger Each Other In Public, And Do Other Vile Activities

Want to have your business advert seen by over 900,000 people per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to check out the Turtleboy Store - your one stop shop for all your Turtleboy shopping needs.

Click on the image to check out the Turtleboy Store – your one stop shop for all your Turtleboy shopping needs.



Everyone knows that Bills fans are the most vile in all of the NFL. They are savages. Nothing more, nothing less. I just got back from Buffalo, and unfortunately I don’t have any pictures because one of the unleashed creatures up there destroyed my camera pretty early on. Posted a couple pictures to Facebook first luckily, of some grizzled Buffalonians

Screen Shot 2015-09-21 at 3.04.08 PM

and some Buffalo babes

Screen Shot 2015-09-21 at 3.03.56 PM


I’ve been to Buffalo a million times before, and I can say with the utmost confidence that I have never, ever seen anything like I witnessed on Sunday. As you know Bills fans have been suffering form Patriots butthurt for years now, and apparently one Buffalonian at the game had the cure for it….

1440405383210800930 1440405383143202338

Honestly, this isn’t even a big deal in Buffalo. Giving your girlfriend the brownfinger deluxe at a Bills game is par for the course. Wait until it gets cold. Half the stadium is sticking their hands down their neighbor’s pants for warmth.

I would say that 99% of the savages I encountered were like this guy, who was partaking in the annual tradition of funneling a beer and trying to RKO a Tom Brady effigy.

Anyway, my plan was to save my battery in the parking lot and get as much film and pictures in the game as possible. Unfortunately the second I began walking up to my seats while trying to tape the crowd, some Buffalonian savage smacked the camera out of my hand. It’s gone forever now. Buffalo. SMH.

Luckily there’s videos all over of the debauchery that went on during the tailgate:

Fences in Buffalo are for 2 things – puking and making sweet, sweet Buffalo love.


This time around it was just me and two other guys, since the rest of our crew has their faces printed on the back of all Bills tickets. And this year I wasn’t fucking around with these beasts. For instance, a woman sitting two rows in front of me was there with what appeared to be her 7 or 8 your old boy. She was wearing a Tom Brady shirt, which was a poor choice to say the least. But nevertheless, you would assume that having an 8 year old kid with you would make you immune to the Buffalo debauchery.

You would be wrong. The magnificent creature in front of me with a Bills’ legend Terrell Owens jersey on, tapped the lady on the shoulder. At first I thought they were going to make pleasant conversation. But it turns out he wanted to give her a message – “Go fuck yourself.”

Yup. Right in front of the kid. The lady was shocked, but I wasn’t. I’ve seen that happen more times than you can count. It’s how they greet each other Buffalo. Honestly, you should know better than to bring your kids to a Bills game, especially when the Patriots are in town. If you do, you’re going to have to explain what this means:

Screen Shot 2015-09-21 at 3.17.33 PM

“Ya see son, they believe that Tom Brady is a homosexual, because they’re suffering from something called, “butthurt.” And since they can’t beat Tom Brady on the football field, they bring gigantic Bills colored penises to the game and pretend that Tom Brady is engaging in what we call “felatio.” This is why you must never move to Buffalo.”

Anyway, we did what we always did – we kicked the shit out of them. I’ve never seen a fan base go from 60 to 0 so quickly. From the moment you walked into the stadium until the Bills scored that first touchdown, it was insane. For a minute there I started planning my escape. There was a wall behind me, but I have no idea where it led to. Nevertheless, I was jumping it if we started getting routed.

But then reality kicked in. It was the same old shit, except with rage. Tom Brady didn’t just beat them, he ripped their souls out. Because THIS was the game they were going to win. In their delusional minds they’ve been losing to the greatest quarterback ever because he plays with slightly deflated balls. Now that he had legit ones, the thinking in that stadium was that he would finally be exposed.

Screen Shot 2015-09-21 at 2.57.44 PM

But instead he was better than he ever has been. Instead of the “Brady is lady,” “Brady sits to pee,” and “Brady has a gaping vagina” chants that we heard during the Tailgate, all we heard in the third quarter were rumblings about how full of shit Rex Ryan was. Ya see these poor fools actually bought into his whole, “talk shit and act like a bad ass” routine. Turns out all that does is get you a billion penalties, against a team that always makes you pay for your mistakes.

I genuinely felt bad for these nudniks for the first time. I can’t even imagine what it feels like to lose to the same team every single year. I can’t imagine what it feels like to lose 4 Super Bowls in a row, be victimized by a Music City Miracle, and then miss the playoffs 15 years in a row. And for the first time in forever, Bills fans had optimism. Then Brady rolled into that stadium and it was business as usual. Turns out Rex Ryan was full of shit and absolutely nothing has changed. Buffalo will always be Buffalo.

Screen Shot 2015-09-21 at 3.17.49 PM

Want to have your business advert seen by over 900,000 people per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to check out the Turtleboy Store - your one stop shop for all your Turtleboy shopping needs.

Click on the image to check out the Turtleboy Store – your one stop shop for all your Turtleboy shopping needs.
















13 Comment(s)
  • Emmit Schmidts
    December 12, 2015 at 10:13 pm

    If Buffalo were really that crass, Marv Albert would live there.

  • November 13, 2015 at 10:04 am

    This is clear and blatant discrimination towards those that are color blind. To think this could happen in 2015 is abhorable. I will be on hunger strike until Roger Goodell steps down.

  • Buffalo Williams
    September 22, 2015 at 1:57 pm

    If you were a 26 year old who was in 5th grade the last time your favorite team made the playoffs, and that just so happened to be the Music City Miracle (Same year as the “no goal” by the way! Lucky us) you would be a vile savage too any time your team sniffed the ability to finish over .500.

    And imagine if you were early to mid 30’s and actually remembered those 4 super bowl losses.

    Anyone will become savages under those conditions.

  • RJ
    September 22, 2015 at 10:55 am

    Why is Miley Cyrus giving that girl the stink finger?

  • Kevins 9 Iron
    Frank Lee
    September 22, 2015 at 8:24 am

    bra straps showing is so classy isn’t it?

  • BobnMic
    September 21, 2015 at 10:09 pm

    Menu at Ralph Wilson Stadium:

    Draft Beer – $10.00
    Hot Dogs – $8.00
    Pretzels – $9.00
    Lube so you can finger bang the slutty girl next to you – Free
    Throw up bags – Unavailable

  • Fattydaddy
    September 21, 2015 at 9:43 pm

    Maybe he had a tortilla chip in his hand and that’s where the dip buffalo dip was.

  • Boo Boo Bobby Gibbs
    September 21, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Everything that “Buttfinger” chick is wearing screams “Western New York Trash”

  • Mike
    September 21, 2015 at 4:10 pm

    Wait, Mack- what was it you went back and forth with me on? All in good fun? All in the name of a laugh. Yeah, I’ll refer you to my discussion with Mack on the comments section of the “10 Reasons the Pats cheated” post- because this one proves my point so beautifully, it cannot be described or overstated.

    Oh the irony and hypocrisy of a man who goes into a stadium trolling opposing fans, and then has the audacity to call them savages and vile. Ignoring the fact he himself acted savagely. Ignoring the fact the “savagery” he claims to witness is likely fabricated, and if not, obviously something most Bills fans don’t condone.

    You’d think this person would learn from such an escapade last year which found his friend let go from his job. You’d think behavior that cost a friend a job and slandered his reputation would teach someone to change their ways- but, clearly, you are as boneheaded and unable to learn from your experiences as Rex Ryan himself.

    But go ahead and tell me why you’re so much better than me because you happened to grow up in New England’s version of Rochester and thus are a Pats fan. Go ahead and tell me it’s directed at the coach again.

    You are classless joke like the Bills fans you generalize.

    • GetFuct
      September 22, 2015 at 8:35 am

      The butthurt is strong with this one.

  • Wow
    September 21, 2015 at 3:30 pm

    I think the funniest part of the guy fingering his ladies butt is the fact that she isn’t reacting at all- no sign of surprise, horror, pleasure, nothing! What a classy lady she is- I’m sure her mom must be SO proud!

Comment on this Post


This Truck Driver Was Really, Really Pissed About The 65 Car Accident Pile Up On 290 In Worcester.
Chinese Guy Jumps Seven Floors To His Death To Get Out Of Shopping With Girlfriend
South African Dude Who Pretended To Sign Language Obama’s Nelson Mandela Speech Is Apparently An Insane Murdering Rapist?