Sports

Buffalo Bills Lose To Raiders, New England Patriots Beat Jets – Most Predictable Outcomes In Sports

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There are three things I will always be able to count on as long as Tom Brady dons a New England Patriots jersey: 1) The New York Jets will always give us a good game when you least expect it, 2) The Buffalo Bills will continue to be the biggest joke in the NFL, and 3) The Patriots will always win the AFC East without having to try.

The Patriots were somehow favored by 10 points today, which was insane. I don’t give a shit how bad the Jets are – we will toy with them for three and half quarters before taking Rex Ryan‘s Patriot hating heart and stomping on it in front of his toe-loving wife. I’m gonna miss this guy’s antics when he’s gone next year, but I’m not gonna really miss the games. Patriots-Jets games are the most overrated in sports. They’re always boring as shit unless Marc Sanchez runs into his center’s fat ass. Today was no exception. It doesn’t get much worse than a 17-16 NFL game where the second half highlights include three field goals, some punts, and a one yard touchdown by the backup running back.

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And I gotta say that I am bummed that the Bills somehow found a way to become the Bills again today by losing to the Oakland Raiders. Yup, the 2-12 Oakland flippin Raiders. Everything was set up perfectly for the Bills to potentially have a meaningful game against the Patriots next weekend. The Baltimore Ravens shat on themselves today, opening up a potential spot for the Bills to sneak into the playoffs as the final wild card. After beating the Green Bay Packers all they had to do was beat the worst team in football to set up a potential win-and-in situation in week 17. But this is the Bills we’re talking about. Losing to the Raiders is just so Buffalo it hurts.

Good news though Bills Mafia – you get to play the Patriots next week – a team that’s beaten you 23 of the last 25 times you’ve played. Besides that things are going great.

Couldn’t happen to a group of people that deserve the misery more than Buffalo fans. As you know, they are the spawn of satan. We’ve seen how they behave when you take them off of their leashes back in Week 6:

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BUFFALO!!!

I gotta admit that I’m pretty bummed that next week’s game might not mean didley for either team. If the Bengals find a way to beat the Broncos tomorrow night the Patriots wrap up home field advantage for the playoffs and from that point on it’s just a matter of figure out who we play in the Super Bowl. And of course the Bills are eliminated from the postseason with the loss. Again. It would’ve been awesome to have those lovable losers come into Foxboro thinking they actually had a shot at the playoffs. But then again it’s the Bills. This is just what they do. Pats 41-13 and Jimmy Garoppolo throw for three touchdowns.

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3 Comment(s)
  • Got Nukes?
    December 24, 2014 at 8:49 am

    I never knew so many homosexuals lived in Buffalo. Is gay sex and crappy football all they think about?

  • Jake
    December 22, 2014 at 8:57 am

    How disappointing and childish you remain. Just when I read an article and think “Wow, this guy has some insight and can provide some good points” when reading some of your articles about the current events, you turn around and go do something like this. Provocation of a fan base who has been through it all when it comes to their team shitting on their open hearts year in and year out. Demeaning them and talking down to them, and airing complete arrogance because you happened to be born in an afterthought of a city 45 minutes away from Boston.

    You see, when deadspin (I presume that’s what your ‘sports’ takes are attempting to be, though you provide a homeless man’s version of their quality, at best) does these kind of articles, they are successful because they are actually A) witty, B) make some kind of point as opposed to being pure, unadulterated, hate-fueled bashing with no conceivable purpose and C) actually use some variety and creativity. As it comes to Bills fans- you go to the game, provoke them in a relentless, borderline psychotic, but above all pathetic manner just to get content. You post a blog about their reactions induced by your provocation. Your blog receives negative, vulgar attention from the people too stupid to see through what you’re doing. You repost others reactions and try to pass it off as a blog. And, to top it all off, you repost the same reactions which you have posted before.

    I’m not sure what your obsession with this fan base in particular is, or why it is. However, it’s honestly on the borderline of pathetic. The vast majority of Bills fans I’m sure are not worthy of this persistent muckraking you attempt to bring upon them. Just as a NE resident I am 100% positive there cant be any more Bills fans who would deserve this than there are Patriot’s fans who would Patriots fans are obnoxious AND arrogant. Bills, along with Browns fans, are the most loyal and passionate considering their teams sad, almost laughably so lack of success in recent years.

    Just some advice. Take it if you want. Or, continue to make yourself look bad with posts like this, ultimately throwing any credibility you would gain from other well crafted posts right out the window. Your choice.

  • Brian Foll
    December 22, 2014 at 2:31 am

    Love my team but when it comes to the fans the nazis would be easier to defend at Nuremberg. As a bills fan I think of our game at New England much like a prostate exam. The closer you get to your appointment, the more you dread the almost certain feeling of violation and utter abuse that you know will take place. Thank god we only have one more week of disappointment left.

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