Butthurts Saying James White Was Down Before The Goal Line Don’t Realize His Bicep Skin Is The Same Color As A Football

Butthurts Saying James White Was Down Before The Goal Line Don’t Realize His Bicep Skin Is The Same Color As A Football

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The best part about this Super Bowl was that for once there wasn’t some bullshit conspiracy theory excuse about cheating that all the butthurts could use to defame the greatest quarterback and coach in NFL history. It was magical. Every single moment of it. That was their game to win. They were in field goal range with a couple minutes to go, up by 8. All they had to do was take a knee, or run the ball a couple times, and then let one of the best kickers in the NFL make it a two possession game and put it away for good. Instead they got fancy with it, Matt Ryan’s ass got sacked, and then Matthews took what turned out to be a smart holding penalty on Chris Long (who was about to sack Ryan again and might’ve forced a fumble). Next thing you know they’re out of field goal range, they punt, and the rest is history.

There’s literally nothing anyone can say this time right?

Oh wait, I forgot. The league is rigged for the Patriots, and the NFL commissioner OBVIOUSLY will do anything he can to make sure we win. That’s why he suspended Brady for four games because science made footballs lose the slightest bit of air pressure. He did that to help us.

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So how did the Patriots cheat this year? Well, they’re saying the game winning touchdown by James White was not in fact a touchdown. Here’s what you find when you search for “knee down rigged” on the Twitter machine:

Alright, first of all, this is the poopsmooch who started circulating the video:

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As you can see, he a millenial Jets fan, which makes him unlovable.

I have to admit, now that I’m sober that was a lot closer than I realized. Eat your heart out Kevin Dyson. But what these geniuses are ignoring is that this picture:

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Is complete bullshit. You see that brown thing they have circled? That’s not the football. You can actually see the football in his hand as it is clearly across the white goal line. The brown thing they have circled is actually James White’s bicep. And because James White just so happens to have skin color that looks very similar to that of a football, this is where you butthurts are getting confused. But I guess all brown things look alike to you people. Maybe if Amendildo or Edelman were carrying the ball it would be a little more clear for you. But yea, if you see someone on your Facebook page sharing this picture feel free to spam them with Turtleboy so they can see the truth.

Most importantly, it was first down. Would you people rather have Brady sneak it in on second down to jam it down your gullets? Because that would’ve been the only way this game could’ve possibly ended any better. Pick your poison. Personally if I was a butthurt, I’d rather get beat by James White.

Anyway, the more I watch the play the more I realize how truly amazing this game was. What does James White weigh? A buck seventy? Here he is a good two yards from the goal line. One guy already has him wrapped up, and he’s being converged upon by FIVE Falcon defenders, one of who is the NFL leader in sacks, and two of who are physically blocking the end zone.

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But the little engine that could would not be stopped.

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God loves us more.


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11 Comment(s)
  • September 2, 2017 at 3:41 am

    My brother recommended I might like this blog.
    He was once totally right. This put up actually made my day.
    You cann’t consider simply how much time I had spent for this information! Thank you!

  • July 11, 2017 at 8:50 am

    I ll say that I feel like it was super close though, but the tip of ball does cross the goal line centimeters before the knee touches the ground.

  • Josh Clark
    February 19, 2017 at 9:55 am

    Knee was down. NFL rigged. 3 holding penalties on the same drive the instead of 4th down on all 3, it gave NE automatic 1st down. BS!

  • Sexual Chocolate
    February 6, 2017 at 8:44 pm

    What the fuck is this sports shit? We’re actually talking about sports? Aren’t there any ratchets in Great Brook Valley turning tricks and owning 4 EBT cards to discuss?

  • BobnMic
    February 6, 2017 at 6:35 pm

    They should have overturned that and the Falcons should have won.

    I lost so much money on this game it ain’t even funny.


    • BobnMic
      February 6, 2017 at 8:05 pm


      • BobnMic
        February 6, 2017 at 8:15 pm


  • February 6, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    It was 2nd down…
    What game were you watching?
    Get your facts straight before you post things…

  • Paul Durand
    February 6, 2017 at 3:33 pm

    ALL scores in the NFL are reviewed by instant replay. White was in, we WON!!!!

  • Cat Vomit Tango
    February 6, 2017 at 2:16 pm

    Here in Pittsburgh we hate the Patriots and Brady and Belichick. But that’s because the Steelers suck and we’re jealous. Clearly, it was an amazing game from start to finish, highlighted by the “Incredible Comeback”. Who cares if James White’s knee was down one millisecond before the ball crossed the plane. He made a Herculean effort and deserved the TD. Plus, this game was over as soon as the Pats won the OT coin toss. Anyone who thinks the NFL and the Super Bowl are rigged probably thinks we never landed on the moon (we did land on the moon, right?).

    Congrats to the Pats.

  • Mr Butthurt
    February 6, 2017 at 1:47 pm

    Haters gonna hate. Fuck em

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