I’m writing this blog for Turtleboy because I wanted to share something in light of the fact that a million people on my Facebook roster have been bragging about the free donut they got at Dunkin Donuts today. Newsflash – every day is free donut day at Dunkin Donuts. Only a poopsmooch galore pays money for the crappy excuse for a donut that Dunkins has to offer. Let me show you a little trick. Here’s what a receipt looks like from Dunkin Donuts:
As you can see it’s from February. You might ask, “why would anyone still have a receipt from February?” And the answer is, “free donut.” On the bottom of the receipt in bold letters it says, “Enter Validation Code” followed by a blank line. The directions say to go to DunkinDonuts.com and fill out this survey about your experience. I did it once, answered all these questions, and then they gave me a number at the end to write in there. The number was 999375. I filled it in and got my free donut.
Then I did it a couple days later and the number I got was 18455. Basically what this means is that the numbers are completely random and mean absolutely nothing. A computer just spit something out. The number is irrelevant. Ever since this discovery I’ve gotten free donuts every single time I go to Dunkins. I usually just make up the first number that comes to mind, but sometimes I get creative:
And no one’s the wiser. How do I know? Because the minimum wage worker who takes this receipt from me immediately throws in in the garbage. Do you honestly think there is some sort of Dunkin Donuts database that keeps track of which numbers correspond with completed surveys? Do you think the person collecting your receipt is paid enough money to give a shit? Nope. Free donuts.
Sometimes I don’t even want a donut but I get one anway because I’d be stupid not to take a free donut. Then I throw it out, just because I can. Obviously it costs Dunkin Donuts, a multi-billion dollar company, pennies on the dollar to make a donut. They make a million more donuts than they can possibly sell and end up throwing half of them in the dumpster at the end of the night.
So there you have it folks. Every day is free donut day at Dunkin Donuts.