Sports

Cam Newton Is The Face Of The Anti-Bullying, Everyone Gets A Trophy Pussified Loser Generation

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There was a prop bet about if Cam Newton would give the first touchdown he scored in the Super Bowl to a boy or girl. But unfortunately he gave it to neither because he had already given away all the game balls to Von Miller instead.

In the two weeks leading up to the Super Bowl I wanted to give this guy credit. I didn’t care that he chose to make his race an issue repeatedly. I don’t care that he dances or “dabs” after he makes a big play. I don’t care that he’s a showboating, “look at me” dooshnozzle who named his son Chosen.

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None of that stuff mattered because he was going to rip the Broncos guts out and win the Super Bowl.  Then down 16-10 with the ball in the 4th quarter, this happened:

Cam Newton is the biggest pussy ever to play the game of football. And we don’t like to use that word so liberally, but there’s no other word that can possibly describe him. He is a pussy. He sat there and watched as the Broncos recovered the ball that he just fumbled. He CHOSE to run away from the ball in the biggest game of his life.

I wanted to like this guy, I really did. But he had the luxury of going up against the worst quarterback in the NFL in the biggest game of his life, and he SUCKED. Yea, it’s easy to dance and dab when you’re kicking the shit out of crap bag teams like the Bucs and Saints. But when you finally face a real defense you better bring that pain or else you’re a complete fraud.

Cam Newton is symptomatic of a much larger problem. He is the face of the new generation of naniburgers who have been given trophies for losing. They’ve had “anti-bullying” classes in schools to protect their delicate feelings instead of being told to stand up for themselves. They’ve been led to believe that people who have accomplished NOTHING in the NFL can parade around for two weeks like they’ve already won the Super Bowl. This is what this generation look like when they become adults.

And that is what made this Super Bowl so hard to sit through. The Patriots would have assassinated the Panthers. Tom Brady would’ve completed 90% of the throws Cam Newton missed on, and that’s just a scientific fact. So am I bitter and butthurt? Yes, like you’ve never seen before. Because the Patriots blew games against the Eagles, Jets, and Dolphins, and because of a missed extra point, and a variety of other avoidable fuck ups, America was treated to the worst Super Bowl ever seen. That’s on us. We did this to America. We made you root for someone as unilkeable and terrible as Cam Newton, and for that we apologize from the bottom of our hearts.

But hey, keep working on those dance moves Cam. Can’t wait to see the Nike commercial about getting back up again after you’ve been knocked down. Fraud.

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4 Comment(s)
  • Wet Willie
    February 8, 2016 at 7:26 pm

    That play of being scared of the ball, along with all the other uncharacteristic overthrows and picks and fumbles, even when fumbles were not even caused by Denver, clearly show Carolina took a drive. No question. Oh and that first replay challenge that was a catch and not a drop being ruled incomplete? No one can question how wrong the officials were on that call. This was not only the worst Super Bowl, it was literally one of the worst NFL games I’ve ever seen. It was almost equal to the joke that this years Pro Bowl was.

  • Del Griffith
    February 8, 2016 at 1:55 pm

    Apparently no one told the Denver defense how great Cam Newton thinks he is. After a whole season of “Teams ain’t seen nothing like me”! And the pre-game Superman shirt, I’m still laughing my ass off at this narcissistic self absorbed whiny little ass hat. If you’re going to act like a dickhead, be prepared to back it up. His true colors came out yesterday, and his post game press conference pouting was disgusting. No character, no class… Did I hear Von Miller say “Dab this Cam”! Now Von would look awesome in blue, silver, white and red.

  • Spankster
    February 8, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    For all the haters out there, be honest. Do you think Brady, Bree’s,Rodgers or even the Mannings would have done such a sissyfied thing on that play?

  • Rob
    February 8, 2016 at 12:53 pm

    Careful, they’re going to call you racist

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