So WordPress provides analytics about who is reading Turtleboy Sports, where they’re coming from, what they click on when they come here, and what people googled to find us. Sometimes I see what people actually typed into google before they are redirected to Turtleboy Sports and it’s just priceless. Some blogs get tons of hits every single day if they have good SEO (search engine optimization). For instance if you google image “Luis Suarez bite”, or “Suarez bite”, the second picture on your screen is from Turtleboy Sports. Same goes with anything related so “soccer sucks.”
So I’m gonna start a new weekly blog here every Thursday called, “What did people google to find Turtleboy Sports?” Here’s our top google searches for this week……
10. 2014 sex dog 420
I don’t know what this person was looking for when they typed in those words but apparently Turtleboy Sports is the place to go for pictures of naked dogs having sex and smoking weed.
9. Home done sex change videos
Apparently some person out there was looking to save a few bucks and do their own sex change at home. Can’t be much harder than changing your own oil right? Hopefully they got distracted by some of our hot takes and decided that this was a really, really, bad idea.
8. New boob.com draft
Looks like some guys are confused about what a fantasy draft is. Apparently these guys are drafting their all star team of boobies and got Turtleboy Sports instead.
7. If my 17 year old son kills somebody in a car accident, can the victim families sue me
Well this person’s fucked. Apparently this person’s teenage son killed someone and instead of worrying about their baby being dragged off to jail, or what the other family is going through, they just wanna make sure their ass doesn’t get sued. Then they found Turtleboy Sports and all of their questions were answered.
6. Daughter fuck video yea
I don’t know what redneck typed this into a search engine, but I can’t figure out what he’s doing here. Is he asking himself, “daughter fuck video” and then answering “yea”, as in “yea, I’d like to see that?” Hopefully this person has no children.
5. Why do fat people think they are intimidating
That’s a GFQ right there. All you lardos out there think you’re all big and bad. This guy wants to know WHY? Chances are he came across the sleeping Yankees fan blog. “Drunk Catholic school girls” is a pretty solid search too.
4. Hot Kansas nurses
When you want hot Kansas nurses there is only one place you come to. Apparently someone was looking for some facial abuse too. To each their own.
3. How many men use a loofah
This guy’s got the same question I do. Am I the only man who uses a loofah instead of bar soap?
2. Habs fans are the worst
If you wanna find a Canadiens hating blog then you’ve come to the right place. Also we are apparently home to “things only someone from bona venture understands” and the “gone nigerian online newspaper.”
1. Recent reports of a gay black male who stinks and gives off a disgusting odor in ny
When you’re looking for smelly gay black men from New York there is only one place you come to to find them. Turtleboy Sports.
Here’s some other good ones…