All-Star Criminals Nudniks WTF

Check Out This Crackzilla VS. Papa Pimpslap Throw Down! Do You Know These Junkyard Dogs?

Want to have your business advert viewed over 2 million times per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.







One of our Turtleriders sent us a tip to check out this magnificently white trash video posted to Snapchat. Someone caught these two nitwits squabbling like rabid hyenas over a bag of crack in a side alley/driveway in good ol’ ManchVegas. Then they uploaded it to Snapchat and posted it publicly using the map feature so we could see the location.


This is where the magic happened:

This entire area of Manchester is a congested dumpster teeming with all the usual signs of ratchetry.

Check it out:

Typical corner store specializing in cheap 40’s of malt liquor and your finest silk roses sold in glass tubes. (They’re a hot seller and TOTALLY purchased as a symbol of affection for every baby-mama on Valentines day)


You’ve got shoeless locals rippin butts on their stoops:

Strange men that may or may not be urinating in public:

Kids chillin’ in driveways with minimal adult supervision (notice the adult to the right rockin’ their finest bathrobe):

Top of the line mattresses and used tires used as lawn décor:

More unsupervised kids:

House #876464 that’s for sale within a 1 block radius:

And another one:

Not-at-all creepy vans parked on the a rare glimpse of grass (bonus points for it being green! ‘Murica!)

This place just screams suburbia. I bet there are plenty of people chomping at the bit to move in immediately, spend Sunday afternoons playing a good old fashioned game of catch with their little miracles and hosting bake sales.

Just kidding. This place looks like it reeks of Caldwells vodka and infection.

Check out the number of crimes committed within the past MONTH.

The videos are short and not the best quality (because, snapchat) but these are the types of places where shit like this happening in broad daylight is commonplace (and of course it’s filmed by someone hanging out a 2nd floor window).

Look at mackdaddy fucknut reaching back before slapping this chick with her hands in his pocket. Kid has no shame (and evidently isn’t a fan of getting a slampig pocket patdown).

0:05 “You always do this shit over DRUGS!”

I’m glad she clarified that this started over drugs because for a minute I was pretty convinced their squabble stemmed from an argument over the origins of evolution vs. creationism and she was just rummaging his pocket for her list of research sources


Seriously look at the wind up:

Then she gets a whole lotta palm to the face and you’re thinking she’s gonna tap out and call it quits.


Lady trampstamp grabs a brick because it’s become the new weapon of choice for crazy bitches in hood brawls.



I like how the girl filming doesn’t give a shit about someone getting a brick to the forehead as long as no one scuffs up her car. (I’d be willing to bet $$ on it being a 2002 Honda Civic.)

Ok Turtleriders! Let’s get names on these two idiots that think it’s acceptable to throw hands at a chick/threaten people with bricks and fight over crack in broad daylight.

PU-PU Shame platter for two! Order up!



13 Comment(s)
  • September 1, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    You are so interesting! I don’t believe I’ve read something like
    this before. So wonderful to find someone with a few unique thoughts on this subject matter.
    Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This web site is something that is required on the
    web, someone with some originality!

  • Haystack
    August 8, 2017 at 12:25 am

    I guess dinner and a movie is now completely out of the question 🙁

  • They call me Ponch
    August 7, 2017 at 10:08 pm

    What’s this? Mr. Benjamin looks lonely.

    Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?

  • You have no friends on the internet
    August 7, 2017 at 6:15 pm

    People without god in their lives, not talking about snooty churchy stuff but people who don’t even entertain the thought that humans are suppose to try and be better than they are. Try to push yourself and try when you’re tired or care when you don’t care or never say quit.

    They end up like this, fighting for scraps, selling their bodies to anyone and without the dignity of a seagull or vulture, mice take better care of themselves and their young.

    • Land of Crack
      August 7, 2017 at 10:28 pm

      I understand your point. Seems like these types have no value of their own
      lives at all, much less than anyone else’s. They just stumble through life.

  • Dick Dover
    August 7, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    That’s just how you learn a bitch.

  • Sonny's Mom
    August 7, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    “Jails, institutions or death.”
    And SnapChat.

  • Steven Stover
    August 7, 2017 at 2:40 pm

    You can retire in NH. Just go beyond the Notches. The welfare crowd doesn’t go there. It is really nice and free of illegals. Pickups and snowmobiles and guns and four wheelers.

    • Stunt Penis
      August 7, 2017 at 6:22 pm

      It’s moving slowly north though. I hear things are bad in the Laconia/Guilford/Camden area now. Shit, 15 years ago that area was pristine outside of “tourist” season.

      • Monty
        August 8, 2017 at 5:57 am

        Laconia has been a perennial shit hole from way back. Like a bruise on a good apple, drugs, alcoholism, violence, jackass tough guys, all going steady in Laconia from waaayyyyy back.

        Otherwise yes, go North find a smallish town, outside of the normal local losers in any town life should be good, buy a high performance snowthrower.

  • Chip Striker
    August 7, 2017 at 2:37 pm

    Glad I moved far away from there.

    Wowzers is that place a dump.

  • Stunt Penis
    August 7, 2017 at 2:21 pm

    I lived in Manchester back in the late 80’s. My how the community has changed in 30 years. Sad. I always held out hope I could retire to NH someday… now it looks like it’s going to have to be Texas.

      August 7, 2017 at 2:49 pm

      I used to love these Turtle Boy posts. I loved laughing at these people and glad my life is better than theirs. But it’s starting to get fucking depressing. Everyday someone raping a child or killing an innocent or fighting in the middle of the day on a Monday over drugs and all the people involved have no empathy for anyone. I’m just uncomfortable in the world we are living in and it’s getting worse. TurtleBoy is just reporting the news with a comedic affect and I love it but the world sucks right now and most people are terrible people. THANK GOD I don’t have kids I can’t see a bright future for any child.

Comment on this Post


This Truck Driver Was Really, Really Pissed About The 65 Car Accident Pile Up On 290 In Worcester.
Chinese Guy Jumps Seven Floors To His Death To Get Out Of Shopping With Girlfriend
South African Dude Who Pretended To Sign Language Obama’s Nelson Mandela Speech Is Apparently An Insane Murdering Rapist?