Hoodrat Heroes

Cheesesteak Chimney Says It’s OK That She Parked Illegally In Haverhill Handicapped Sport Because She’s A Revere Cop


Does this look like a cop to you?

Well, according to this deep fried gravy dumpster she is in fact a Revere cop, and used her alleged service as a way to excuse the fact that her fat ass was parked in a handicapped spot in Haverhill.

Easily the best part of the video was when she busted these out:

Because, OF COURSE she rips Newport Lights like it’s going out of style. And of course she parked in a handicapped spot because she’s deftly afraid of walking 10 more feet to purchase them.

Her logic was rock solid though.

Why is it bothering you so much? Are you disabled?

“If your fath-uh were heeeya I’d move in a haahhtbeat”

Right. Because the only people who think it’s shitty for somewhat able bodied people like this to park in handicapped spots are people who aren’t disabled.

Gonna need a fact check on this one though:

“I’m a Reveeeyah police awwwficah”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure this sea cow has spent many a day tanning her fupa on Revere Beach, but that doesn’t actually make you a Revere cop. I just have a hard time picturing this cheesesteak chimney doing anything physical, never mind going through a police academy.

I do not have to give you my badge numbahh.”

Where are the First Amendment auditors when you need them?

Then out of nowhere the guy in the hoverboard shows up to try to get the cameraman to stop blocking her from leaving.

Because nothing screams, “I have authority” quite like a grown man showing up on a battery powered, multi-colored hover board.

The most confusing part about the video was the license plate.

There’s nothing New York about this chick. She reeks of Revere, and she’s probably only up in Haverhill now because she thinks the menthol ban already went into effect, which is why she ended up near the New Hampshire border.

Anyway, she said her name is Christina. I’d love to know more about her service as a Revere police officer if any turtle riders recognize her, or if someone wants to run those plates. Hit me up on Facebook at Clarence Woods Emerson or email me at turtleboysports@gmail.com.



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81 Comment(s)
  • Scum
    May 29, 2020 at 11:21 pm

    Ohhhhhh How the tables have turned AAHHAHHHHHA

  • Yuck
    May 29, 2020 at 3:22 pm

    I neeeeed my ciggaretssssss

  • Meth mile
    May 29, 2020 at 3:21 pm

    Next she’ll be on mass ave We’re she belongs

  • Fuckface
    May 29, 2020 at 3:16 pm

    Bitch im a cow MOOOOOOOOO MOOOOOOOOOO I belong on a farm

  • Ewwww that’s you
    May 29, 2020 at 3:02 pm

    These junkies get balls when there high hun hunny we know who you are and this is it a lowlife wannabe gangster that turned a junk ball

    May 29, 2020 at 2:46 pm

    Oink oink only thing her and a cop has in common is being a pig

    May 29, 2020 at 2:43 pm

    This is someone’s mother

  • 2020 RATCHETS
    May 29, 2020 at 2:33 pm

    Hoodrat at its finest dumper juice smelling hippo get a grip on life hunny your probably hitting 40 and get beat up by your hasBan fighting over who’s getting the first shot or hit

  • Spitballing Here
    May 29, 2020 at 11:41 am

    She’s most likely an out of work mall cop. Call her Paula Blart.

  • Haverhill Landlord
    Haverhill Landlord
    May 29, 2020 at 10:15 am

    This chick was on Hilldale Ave getting some smokes and low-grade food poisoning at Wah Sang, probably prior to walking down the street to buy/sell drugs. Probably buying or selling wholesale, judging from the New York plates and pattern of activity in and around the city. Be really interesting to run that plate. Just sayin’.

  • Rahveah police offisah
    May 29, 2020 at 5:49 am

    Cop or not she’s a PIG

  • Jim Crow Joe Biden
    May 28, 2020 at 10:53 pm

    All new police officers sign that they do not smoke when accepting the position of police officer. Heart and Lung Law thingy. If she goes back to work and her Police Chief is not there to dismiss her then Revere is crooked.

  • No fat chicks
    May 28, 2020 at 10:52 pm

    Imagine paying $12.00 for a pack of butts? What a fucking waste of money! By the way, you idiots who pack down a pack of filtered cigarettes are clinically dain bramaged.
    Also, fat chicks who show 8 inches of cleavage are just as nasty as fat chicks who keep the udders covered. I think they think that if they show some cleavage we’ll forget that they’re blubber bitches.

  • ByeFelicia
    May 28, 2020 at 10:30 pm


  • Dick suckerr0
    May 28, 2020 at 10:28 pm

    Closing thing she’s getting to is sucking off a cop when she gets arrested

  • Silencio DoGood
    May 28, 2020 at 10:25 pm

    i hate these fuckin’ people, they start limping if they’re seen, or state they didn’t notice the sign and lines painted across the space, the cops are blind to them also. these lazy sacks of shit are almost always in need of exercise, but wouldn’t walk to save their lives.

    • Guinea Geisha
      May 29, 2020 at 12:33 am

      Life could be worse, love. Milk could have pulp.

      • Silencio DoGood
        May 29, 2020 at 1:30 am

        are you saying it doesn’t? the sour kind has a lumpy pulp, and when i drink it all i can hear is Emily Robinson screaming “Tina!!!!!!!!!!”

        and with that, all is well. and you?

        • Guinea Geisha
          May 29, 2020 at 2:55 am

          Were you drinking breast milk?

          • Silencio DoGood
            May 29, 2020 at 3:21 am

            no, i drank menthol breast milk as a bundle of joy, but drink cat milk now, when i can catch one of these rascals. did you check out my Face? was work better today, tampon free and the like?

          • Guinea Geisha
            May 29, 2020 at 4:12 am

            Work’s always better when I do it from home. It was very tampon free. Pol O’ Somethingicantspell… that’s really your name? I thought it was just another one of your crazy riddles… a gaelic one. I’m not on the Face. But I’ll try to find you.

          • Guinea Geisha
            May 29, 2020 at 6:58 pm

            I see you now Daddy.

    • Bob
      May 29, 2020 at 5:13 am

      I disagree. I respect a good fake limp. It shows that they aren’t just some lazy asshole. They are at least putting in some effort

      • Silencio DoGood
        May 31, 2020 at 10:50 pm

        if it was “during” the scene, i agree, but if it’s only after they’ve been spotted, naw.

  • Buttercup
    May 28, 2020 at 10:22 pm

    Looks like a creature from monsters Inc. side note even if this blob was a cop 1 you still can’t do that UNLESS you are in your POLICE CAR. They notice how she mentions if only you knew who she was oh let me call my husband LOL you coNFUSED

  • Scally wag
    May 28, 2020 at 10:15 pm

    At least she looks a little decent on Facebook

    May 28, 2020 at 10:09 pm

    cristina michelle ☺️

  • Revere finest
    May 28, 2020 at 9:59 pm

    The only thing she is is a junkie

  • TortugaNiño
    May 28, 2020 at 9:56 pm

    How bout an article on said menthol ban and how stipd it is.

  • Grown Men On Scooters Suck More
    May 28, 2020 at 8:32 pm

    I hated that scooter cunt more than the handifat chick. The cameramans voice was that of a bernie beta cuck dude. He sucked too.

  • Dr. Scholl’s
    May 28, 2020 at 7:46 pm

    Her feet and toes are all jacked up, especially that left big toe. It’s pointing up at a 45o angle. wtf. That’s the shit nightmares are made of. Imagine doing the dirty and then two-ton Bertha rubs that hideous toe all up on your chest. AUGHHHH noooooo!

    • Genrikh Yagota
      May 28, 2020 at 8:11 pm

      Free tip:
      Seek medical help.

  • fuckface O'reilly
    May 28, 2020 at 7:46 pm

    I’d bet my corona check her cunt smells like a haddock that’s sat on the dock for 3 days

  • Pogue Mahone
    May 28, 2020 at 6:45 pm

    She went through the police academy 50 pounds ago on her knees.

  • Ben Dover
    May 28, 2020 at 6:11 pm

    Give her a break, she lost her boyfriend Bugsy in the Perfect Storm way back.

  • Still Laughing
    May 28, 2020 at 5:05 pm

    Hahahaha wow you people are pathetic. Keyboard warriors at their finest. I bet you’d shut up if you really knew who she was.

    • whatevuh
      May 28, 2020 at 5:20 pm

      we’ll find out soon enough I’m sure, not that I fucking care who she is. Just a regular old fat ass skank to me . . .

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      May 28, 2020 at 6:10 pm

      Wasn’t she in African Bukkake 2 back in 1987?

      Now I know who she is. Not scared though. Except for her diseases that is. Keep it away

    • ChrisInShrewsbury
      May 28, 2020 at 9:07 pm

      Is she a Merc or Fixer? No.

      You think she’s ranked up like some fucking Capodecina of Everett. I don’t fucking think so. She’s a fat slob with a big fucking mouth.

    • Brian The Dog
      May 29, 2020 at 7:36 am

      “If you knew who she really was”

      Who is she really? Is she Peter from Family Guy?

    • Cheddah
      May 29, 2020 at 11:28 am

      Just another Revere loser trying to act all connected and mobbed up, living vicariously through stories of his/her grandparents or his friends grandparents.. do something useful for once.

    • george costanza
      The angry taint
      May 29, 2020 at 3:24 pm

      Do you have any vegas odds on the bet? I gots a $600 dollar corona check i’m willing to part with.

  • Lost New Yorker
    May 28, 2020 at 5:04 pm

    She’s obviously lying. There haven’t been any white people living or working in Revere in years.

  • Izzy
    May 28, 2020 at 4:55 pm

    No excuse for this woman parking in a handicap space, but when’s the last time you saw someone around here legitimately “disabled” getting out a car with that placard hanging from the rear view? For every 1 person getting out with a cane or wheelchair I see 40 others who look like their biggest handicap is being ugly or lazy. My favorite is the people who cover up the photo on someone else’s placard with tape – who do you think you’re fooling with that bullshit?

  • Stay safe, sane and classy my fellow American Patriots
    May 28, 2020 at 4:40 pm

    A must watch especially for the riot supporters!

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    May 28, 2020 at 4:35 pm

    Officer Newports is not an officer at all. Easy to find out. Call the Revere PD.

    May 28, 2020 at 4:17 pm

    This lady is clearly gay and that’s why she’s angry because she can’t vote. Massachusetts is one of 38 states that bans gays from voting. You should never have to present photo ID when you vote. That’s homophobic and leads to voter suppression. It’s time to let gay people enjoy extra welfare benefits and be allowed to vote.

  • randiguy2006
    May 28, 2020 at 4:10 pm

    Somehow…and I don’t know how yet…this is the blacks fault. Or the Covids. Or Charlie Baker.

    Just not sure yet. Tune in tomorrow for TURTLEBOY INVESTIGATES!

  • I is a rahhhvereeee police officer
    May 28, 2020 at 3:46 pm

    Lmfao She reminds me of that commercial in the early 2000′ when the monkey is sitting at the bar packing his pack of cigarettes.

    What’s up with these fat cunts claiming to be cops lately? The cops should find out who she is then arrest her for falsely claiming to be a law enforcement official! She probably has a few fingers of fentanyl on her too. That’s a double whammy for the boys and girls in blue!

    Turtleboy those are not newport lights so get your facts straight son. Those are regular Newport’s. It’s almost like you claiming that people are still doing oxy when oxy is not around any more! Or what you like to call oc’s. Either way they are the same thing but even so they are not around any more.

    That’s not her jeep either. That’ her dominican fentanyl selling dial a dealer boyfriends rent a jeep. Dial a dealer’s often use their girlfriends or junkie clients to rent vehicles for them in exchange for dope. They do this to evade law enforcement. She is definitely from revere you can tell by the way she tawwks dooode. Shes only in that area so her boyfriend or sperm doner can pick up more fentanyl. Shes definitely not there because she thinks the menthol cigarette ban is in effect!

    There is some constructive criticism for you so dont hate, just trying to help you look like you know what you’re talking about
    If you’re going to try and be funny at least get your faks straight son. Makes you look like you have no idea what you’re actually saying or talking about while also making you look slow. DO BETTER SON

    • Paul Casale
      May 28, 2020 at 10:49 pm

      He always references Newport Lights. I think I have seen exactly one person smoke Newport Lights. It’s usually Newport 100s or regular Newport’s. But don’t try telling him that.

  • The logical Libertarian
    May 28, 2020 at 3:41 pm

    Isn’t saying you’re a cop, impersonating an officer? I don’t think they look too kindly on something like that.

  • JoeMomma
    May 28, 2020 at 3:38 pm

    Just block her in and call the real cops.
    She’ll love the $200 ticket.

      May 28, 2020 at 4:04 pm

      Smart and logical unless the cops in a bad mood and turns around and charges you with false imprisonment. or a slew of other charges.

      I love the white knight riding on his shiny steed! Captain save a pig bitch coming too the rescue on his little sisters hoverboard! Dudes always trying to defend a pig bitchs honor. Like shes gonna tell him “oo0o you saved me let’s climb in the back of my jeep for some quick anal”. Yeah, never going to happen. Simps gonna simp and cucks gonna cuck. How many men have put their life on the line to defend a pig bitch thinking they are going to get laid only to end up dead? I have no idea of the actual numbers but I know it’s a lot! I would never just come out the cut and defend a chick. You have no idea what she did to put her self in that situation but you’re willing to risk your life for her. lol umm no! Even if I knew what’s going on I’m still not defending any woman. I dont care if shes getting beat up she probably deserves it. It’s not because I cant its because I wont.

  • D.B. Cooper
    May 28, 2020 at 3:36 pm

    No way this fat fuck is a cop. None. Meter maid? Possibly.
    What’s the over that she has a bi-racial child?
    Just a Lafayette Sq swamp donkey I can smell the reek through the phone….

    • randiguy2006
      May 28, 2020 at 4:04 pm

      Really? No way that fat fuck is a cop?

      LOL take a look around Mss.

      • I hope someone slaps the democrat out of you
        May 28, 2020 at 4:48 pm

        We tried but your mothers fat greasy wart filled ass that drips toxic flesh eating herpagonasyphilaids blocks the view in every direction!

      • D.B. Cooper
        May 28, 2020 at 8:17 pm

        Not arguing the fat cop thing-

        Just suggesting *this* fat fuck ain’t 5-0

    • Rochambeau
      May 28, 2020 at 6:37 pm

      Just take the valve stems out of the tires and tell her to call for “back-up”. Just leave.

      Her new problem is not your issue. That’s what the selfish people’s mantra is…

    • Moved out of Revere
      May 28, 2020 at 6:48 pm

      Anybody remember that fat fucking cunt lesbian parking bitch? Is she still there? I can still hear the siren and fucking loudspeaker on her excop car on street sweeping days. Always woke my third shift ass up nice and early on every other Tuesday mornings. I hope she died.

  • Tyler Durden
    May 28, 2020 at 3:25 pm

    As someone who may or may not be involved in law enforcement if she smomed no way is she a police offikes ,we\they are not allowed to smoke,only cops now who smoke are the old timers who were already in before new policy was in place and the majority of them are retired out

    • O. K.
      May 28, 2020 at 4:33 pm

      Yeah because everybody told to not do something never does it.

      • What a fag
        May 28, 2020 at 5:03 pm

        I know right just like the black lives matter rioters who you have vigorously profusely and ferociously been banana blasting your ass too with no analease the last 24 hours.
        Dude give it a rest before you end up in the hospital dead from toxic shock syndrome but counted as a chinese wuhan coronaaids virus death because you cant stop banana blasting your ass to all those blm terrorists

  • I have a story
    May 28, 2020 at 3:22 pm

    Google tv television and film on google images and please tell me what in the actual fuck???

    • whatevuh
      May 28, 2020 at 3:52 pm

      can you translate that to English, I have no fucking idea what you said, are you drunk?

      • Save your children from the internet
        May 28, 2020 at 4:16 pm

        Dont google it, its soft kiddie porn!
        But dude above is correct what in the actual fuck? That’s some dirty nasty sick shit. Google should be investigated as a child porn platform for allowing such gross shit on their platform!

    • Truth
      May 28, 2020 at 3:52 pm

      Google’s little pedo haven

    • Tell a vision
      May 28, 2020 at 4:08 pm

      You know why its called television Because its to
      tell a vision

    • Dick GoZinya
      May 28, 2020 at 4:17 pm

      Save it. We have all all seen movies about retarded kids…

      • Dick gozinyamommasass
        May 28, 2020 at 4:36 pm

        So what movies did you star in?

  • Kris20
    May 28, 2020 at 3:20 pm

    Ok maybe she “used to be” a cop lol keyword used to be. Is she though? I surely wouldn’t bet horses on it, lol. But if she is then shame on her. With what has gone down out in Minnesota the last few days this is why people are outraged, this is why people hate the badge. Not saying its right, unfortunately it takes a few bad apples to ruin it for all, just like in ANY profession.

  • Let make a deal
    May 28, 2020 at 3:19 pm

    I bet the 4 cops fired in Minnesota,all get their jobs back or rehired some other police force

    • Deal
      May 28, 2020 at 4:12 pm

      I bet they all go to your mama’s house!

  • The Spic Tormentor
    Spic Tormentor
    May 28, 2020 at 3:13 pm

    Hope Tyrone is okay with his bloated mucinex germ borrowing his jordan sandals while she fetches his pack of newports.

  • BucketNutz
    What’s happened to the price of Feddy?
    May 28, 2020 at 3:12 pm

    If that’s Hilldale Ave in Haverhill, Newports weren’t all she was there to pick up.

  • TB is Team Mask
    May 28, 2020 at 3:08 pm

    This anti-cop stuff is definitely turning people… I know a few friends in blue that have been trying to arrest TB for not wearing a mask outside his house, but get this… and here’s the twist:

    He wears a mask every. single. time.

    He’s team mask. Shocking stuff I know but it’s true.

    • whatevuh
      Dick Hertz from Holden
      May 28, 2020 at 5:24 pm

      We don’t do that shit, we’re not pussies here, this is a grown up town

  • whatevuh
    May 28, 2020 at 3:06 pm

    Of course she had to drive a Jeep, you need a 4X4 to haul that fat ass around

  • Karen kicker
    May 28, 2020 at 3:06 pm

    And the sad part is that some asshat of male has sex with that cigarette pack slapping hog.be ashamed,be very ashamed

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    May 28, 2020 at 2:50 pm

    She just ran in for a pack of Newports! The stupid handicapped can wait a minute. My God!

  • R Lee Ermey
    May 28, 2020 at 2:46 pm

    That fat turd should probably look up Mass General Law 101A…the one saying that Police and Firefighters aren’t legally allowed to smoke in Massachusetts. If she is a cop she could and should be fired for it. Normally I wouldn’t give a fuck…but this cunt should get all the shit she deserves. $100.00 says she’s only the cleaning lady at the police station.

    • Boston Irish
      Fenway Frank
      May 28, 2020 at 4:27 pm

      You are correct, police are not allowed to smoke period! My guess is this fat slob is a crossing guard

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