Hoodrat Heroes

Chicopee Crackho Blasts Desperate Douche Canoe For Offering Her Sex For Drugs In Stupid Blackmail Plot, Both Get Schooled By The Turtle In The Power Of The Internet

Gather ’round, folks, and let me tell you a tale. More of a fable, really, about the power of the internet, and the devastating self-destructive havoc it can wreck when in the hands of dumbass trashbags with a 4g connection. It all starts with a supremely ratchet PSA of sorts, warning drug addicted ladies in the Chicopee area that this ghettosaurus chinostrappio is offering illicit narcotics in exchange for some gland-to-gland combat:

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As if that isn’t desirable in her demographic.  Come on, now. The hat. It’s like an aphrodisiac to you gutterskunks, there’s a good chance you’d do it for free. The drugs just turn it in to a day’s work.

We all know it is, Methanie. Maybe not for you, because although you’re admittedly a drug addicted crackho, you’re totally not that type of girl, right?

 

 

 

I 100% believe she tutors college level trigonometry for her drugs instead of using her most marketable features.  This tall glass of Hep-C and class obviously will NOT slob your knob for a $20 bag of Flacco’s brown diesel, no matter how dope sick she may be. Replacing all the blood in her body with mind-numbing street poison? Absolutely. But riding the skeevestick of a drug dealing loser in a Bull’s cap who was once arrested for robbing an elderly person?

Well, mister, that’s just way over the line!

Except….

That it’s really not. Scumbag Steve just took too long asking for it.

“Then why wouldn’t you come out and say it?” Yup, she sounds like she really takes the moral high ground on such matters. So unfortunately, Billy gave Skankarella enough time to reconsider the kind of work she wanted to put in for his Columbia Love Powder.

Bummer.

 

And so she delved into the deepest intellectual reserves of her drug addled mind and decided to blackmail him,

And then wisely post it all over the internet. So smart. So, here we are. Stephanie didn’t get her drugs, Billy didn’t get to launch his sleaze torpedo down the tuna tunnel, and they’re both still shameless human waste. This was a lose lose situation, for everyone except those of us who enjoy gawking at a good dumpster fire. Not a lot of brain synapses firing at full strength between the two of these spunkguzzlers.

But, hey, Stephanie? You were 100% correct on one point, your post probably will go as viral as your spoiled clam is, now. But what you didn’t consider is that you are both steaming hot garbage, and this is going to follow you around, too. You don’t see too many stock brokers or doctors who are unfazed dropping pictures of themselves begging for drugs. This does not look good for anyone involved.

The moral of the story is, don’t be a garbage person. Don’t solicit random dope sluts for sex, and don’t blackmail drug peddling poonstaches for drugs. And if you do decide to be a giant trashbag, stay off social media, for fuck’s sake. The internet is forever.

 

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23 Comment(s)
  • Bill u r not n the wrong
    May 11, 2019 at 3:44 pm

    He just asked a really dumb broad
    She was the one that wanted shit
    He have her an option
    She gave her answer and acted a fool over it
    Bills not in the wrong
    Bottom line!!!!!!!

  • M
    May 10, 2019 at 9:40 am

    Yo he’s such a loser.. I went to highschool with him AND the chick he robbed the old lady with in December smh.
    I won’t stop saying how happy I am to have moved out of that shit utopia of a city.

  • Skankopee is a shithole
    May 9, 2019 at 7:07 am

    What are “bags and soft” ? Dont understand junkie speak. Those are 2 disgusting dumb skanks. What kind of parents raise these pieces of shit ?

  • nono
    May 8, 2019 at 11:41 pm

    “However, I don’t beg people for drugs.”

    Girl, go watch the last 20-30 minutes of “Requiem for a Dream.” Then please try sobriety again ASAP.

    • Sucky4bucky
      May 11, 2019 at 3:51 pm

      Bill she would have payer you back lmfao
      No fuck no buck
      Now she gonna call 93.7 and tell em why she mad
      She knew what he was saying at first
      Oh and she just relapsed but does coke and dope
      B 4 real

  • Well, No Shit
    May 8, 2019 at 3:23 pm

    If she wasn’t a fucking junkbox, definitely would. What a terrible waste of a prime piece of ass.

  • Randall Guy
    May 8, 2019 at 1:15 pm

    You’re just jealous because she’s way prettier than you.

  • Captain Trips
    May 8, 2019 at 9:46 am

    Give her 10 years (If she doesn’t OD by then) and she’ll look like an after photo on the Faces of Meth website

  • Gash Basher
    May 8, 2019 at 9:09 am

    no mention of the Bulls hat? Sad!

    • Big Wick
      May 8, 2019 at 11:35 am

      She did: “But riding the skeevestick of a drug dealing loser in a Bull’s cap… .” Just lookin’ at pictures?

      Great entertainment, Bristol!

      • Gash Basher
        May 8, 2019 at 11:44 am

        Damn I wish my blck ass could read

  • Stunt Penis
    May 8, 2019 at 8:13 am

    Most definitely wood. I’d enjoy every minute of that. Then I’d use a blowtorch to sterilize my penis when I pulled out and take a 10 day proactive course of antibiotics to be on the safe side.

    • Bill Clinton
      May 8, 2019 at 9:35 am

      My only internal squabble would be with or without the blonde stripper wig. Can only choose one, I fear my pp will fall off or experience cell death after one go.

  • poindexter
    May 8, 2019 at 7:36 am

    I object to your use of the term “college level trigonometry”. Trigonometry is a high school level subject, so “college level trigonometry” would be a remedial course , and I’m not certain that aligns with the intent of the sentance.

    • Grammar Nazi
      May 8, 2019 at 11:43 am

      Well, poindexter, given the sad state of knowledge (or lack thereof) of so many incoming college freshmen, remedial courses are common, and remedial trig is a real possibility… as is remedial English (including accurate spelling), which you may need, as evidenced by your use of “sentance.”

  • Clive McFarlane
    May 8, 2019 at 7:19 am

    Am I the only one who doesn’t get what ‘bags and soft’ are? I”m doing a story on it and need help. Yesterday I was mistaken for the janitor in my building. Nobody knows me and my life has no meaning.

  • Siskel
    May 8, 2019 at 6:24 am

    Just when you think Chicopee and surrounding areas can’t get any lower, these 3rd grade intellectuals surprise you. What a waste of life

  • Idgaf
    May 7, 2019 at 11:40 pm

    Why is this a story! Junkies are everywhere and doing stupid shit! Who cares! I am unsubscribing you all suck for the last 7 months

    • whatevuh
      May 8, 2019 at 6:15 am

      Bye Felecia !

  • better than...
    May 7, 2019 at 11:33 pm

    Weak…..dont pick on people in their lowest moment. I know you are censoring comments now but this is getting low. I read your articles and support you but this is LOW

    • Gash Basher
      May 8, 2019 at 10:08 am

      so….you’re saying you’re a junkie

  • Pam Anderson
    May 7, 2019 at 10:57 pm

    Are 90’s brows coming back? YAY

  • Drag a $100 Bill Thru A Trailer Park Bill
    May 7, 2019 at 9:59 pm

    Would shove a cigar where the sun dont shine on this crackHo.
    Then she would Lewinsky me.

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