Gather ’round, folks, and let me tell you a tale. More of a fable, really, about the power of the internet, and the devastating self-destructive havoc it can wreck when in the hands of dumbass trashbags with a 4g connection. It all starts with a supremely ratchet PSA of sorts, warning drug addicted ladies in the Chicopee area that this ghettosaurus chinostrappio is offering illicit narcotics in exchange for some gland-to-gland combat:

As if that isn’t desirable in her demographic.  Come on, now. The hat. It’s like an aphrodisiac to you gutterskunks, there’s a good chance you’d do it for free. The drugs just turn it in to a day’s work.

We all know it is, Methanie. Maybe not for you, because although you’re admittedly a drug addicted crackho, you’re totally not that type of girl, right?

I 100% believe she tutors college level trigonometry for her drugs instead of using her most marketable features.  This tall glass of Hep-C and class obviously will NOT slob your knob for a $20 bag of Flacco’s brown diesel, no matter how dope sick she may be. Replacing all the blood in her body with mind-numbing street poison? Absolutely. But riding the skeevestick of a drug dealing loser in a Bull’s cap who was once arrested for robbing an elderly person?

Well, mister, that’s just way over the line!

Except….

That it’s really not. Scumbag Steve just took too long asking for it.

“Then why wouldn’t you come out and say it?” Yup, she sounds like she really takes the moral high ground on such matters. So unfortunately, Billy gave Skankarella enough time to reconsider the kind of work she wanted to put in for his Columbia Love Powder.

Bummer.

And so she delved into the deepest intellectual reserves of her drug addled mind and decided to blackmail him,

And then wisely post it all over the internet. So smart. So, here we are. Stephanie didn’t get her drugs, Billy didn’t get to launch his sleaze torpedo down the tuna tunnel, and they’re both still shameless human waste. This was a lose lose situation, for everyone except those of us who enjoy gawking at a good dumpster fire. Not a lot of brain synapses firing at full strength between the two of these spunkguzzlers.

But, hey, Stephanie? You were 100% correct on one point, your post probably will go as viral as your spoiled clam is, now. But what you didn’t consider is that you are both steaming hot garbage, and this is going to follow you around, too. You don’t see too many stock brokers or doctors who are unfazed dropping pictures of themselves begging for drugs. This does not look good for anyone involved.

The moral of the story is, don’t be a garbage person. Don’t solicit random dope sluts for sex, and don’t blackmail drug peddling poonstaches for drugs. And if you do decide to be a giant trashbag, stay off social media, for fuck’s sake. The internet is forever.

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