Hoodrat Heroes

Chicopee Forrest Two Pump Chump Gets Called Out For Price Gouging For Food For Imaginary Daughter, Says He’s Not A Junkie, Then Price Gouges For Imaginary Wedding Instead 


This is Chumba Wumba looking mofo is Zacahry Martin from Chicopee.

He went on the 413 Sell it All page this weekend and put up a bluetooth home theater speaker system for sale for $200, despite claiming to have paid $400 for it.

Sounds legit. Until he got called out by someone on there for price gouging for crack money.

So now he needs $200 to “feed my daughter.” Because apparently employment and food stamps are out of the question.

Except there’s just one problem.

He doesn’t appear to have a daughter. Just a girlfriend, a bad haircut, and a pile of broken dreams.

I know some people don’t put pictures of their kids up on Facebook, but there seems to be no trace whatsoever that Forrest Pump has created his own crotch fruit. He has created his own Google trophies though.

I guess he was banking on no one using the Google machine to see that the pile of crap he was selling isn’t actually worth the $800 he claimed it was.

He also posted this close to 10 PM and said his daughter was hungry. This would lead any rational person to ask him, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you have crotch fruits if you depend on people buying your overpriced, possibly stolen trash in order to feed them? And why the hell are you waiting until 10 PM to do this?” He only had one thing to say to people who questioned his pill seeking behavior.

Mind ya own bid-ness!! If he chooses to starve his imaginary child and let her stay up all hours of the night that’s a parenting decision he has to make on his own. How dare you ever criticize the parenting skills of this law abiding, non-junkie, upstanding member of society.

Then he whined about how hard it is to be poor.

Oh yea, it must be really hard not working all day and scamming people on community yard sale pages for drug money. You sure have it rough captain donkey dick.

And just in case you couldn’t tell that he was a fraud another guy offered to take the speakers in exchange for a week’s worth of food for his family.

What a kind offer! If his story was real then Forrest Pump could get the food he so desperately needed while avoiding a trip to the grocery store (which is hard when you don’t have a license).

But we all know that junkies are gonna junk, and nothing they say is ever real. He didn’t even acknowledge the offer at first and ended up taking the post down first. Instead he whined some more about being poor and said that he was protecting his daughter from her biological family.

So I guess this broke degenerate boob takes in other people’s crotch fruits, he just doesn’t feed them unless he can sell shit on 413 Sell it All.

When someone mentioned DCF he said no way!!

Again, hard for the DCF fairy to gank your semen demon if you don’t have one.

Then the best part happened when someone brought up the offer for free food again.

“I need money so I can buy food for my family and daughter.”

“I’m not gonna take the food ur offering.”

Wait…..what? He needs money for food, but he doesn’t food directly? I guess he just likes unnecessary steps that inconveniences him for no reason.

But it turns out the reason he had to turn down the free food was also because he wants to be strong and independent.

And nothing says “independent” quite like depending on other people to give you money to “survive.”

Then just hours later he was selling a PS3.

This 2007 technology is in great condition, so he wasn’t willing to go under $55 for it. But that’s only because he no longer had a hungry child this time, he was raising money for his wedding this time.

Because what wedding doesn’t cost exactly $55?

I wasn’t the only one who noticed that one either. Just don’t bring it up to Forrest Pump or he’ll get pissy with you.

Oh, and he’s going to report anyone who posts his screenshots for harassment.

So scared.

The worst part about junkalopes like this are the noobz who enable them with excuses like these.

“There is no good reason to call him out.”

Oh calm your musty meatflaps. There’s plenty of reason to call these people out, starting with the fact that public shaming works and ending with the fact that the buyer has a right to know that they’re being lied to in order to fuel Forrest Pump’s early demise.



Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


17 Comment(s)
  • Lipstickhippie
    Lipstick Hippie
    October 24, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    Nothing says dope sick like “need it gone tonight”. Junkie loser.

  • Metro West Guy
    October 22, 2019 at 9:20 am

    If there’s ever a remake of The Hills Have Eyes, Producers should film it in Chicopee. Plenty of extras who will work for cheap and won’t need any special wardrobe or makeup.

  • Theonewhoknocks
    October 22, 2019 at 8:33 am

    I honestly dont care if someone wants it for drugs. Thats how you get the cheapest stuff out there people. Offer them 40$ for the brand new stolen xbox 1 and wait until they are dope sick enough to take the offer. People care to much gimme a break

  • Allah Board
    October 21, 2019 at 8:39 pm

    Which one is the tank in that picture?

  • Surprised Flapjack
    October 21, 2019 at 7:46 pm

    This guy is an fucking abomination.

    October 21, 2019 at 6:27 pm

    Look Y I can do it now 🙂

    October 21, 2019 at 6:20 pm

    Lmao, the things people will do for a little bit of that junkie juice they call heroin. I’m actually happy that china is flooding the U.S.A. with fentanyl! They see it as biological warfare, I see it as darwinism :). Were not legally allowed to take care of this lil thing called liberalism. For this one time & one time only, I will say, good on you china! My self and the rest of the American people thank you for this service you provide. Though if not much to ask. Could you please manufacturer narcan proof fentanyl.

    Holy Battle Tank Betty! I know they say fat ugly people need love too but this is just out right fucking disgusting..
    On the plus, he does have him self a tag team partner though.

    And for the love of all things holy, cant we just be happy that the kid is imaginary in this situation? Yes its fucked up hes using kids as a pawn for drug money!
    I would however hypothesize that if their was an actual child at home. this backyard, man orgy having, scum lord would not be using said money for food. I mean what child eats 200 dollars worth of food in one sitting? If I had a child and the thing was hungry at 10 p.m. & someone offered me food for a week. I would take them up on their offer. Trade a few hours of work for some food, no problem! That’s just me though! This is why I do not give anything to people. Everyone wants free shit but no one wants to do anything for it.
    Most you will not even get a thank you from. No fucking manners, respect, shame, or anything from these people.

    Imagine your fucking kid being that hungry at 10 p.m. and being poor. Fuck selling what little you have. How about a fucking add saying I’ll work for food. I’ll wash your car for a happy meal. I’ll rake your lawn, for 2 nights worth of peanut butter and jelly. If you throw in a loaf and some eggs, I’ll mow the lawn before I rake it.

  • Zachary
    October 21, 2019 at 5:39 pm

    Turtleboy forced my hand on this one. I am embarrassed to say but I need the money for a penis pump. You happy now turtleboy.

    October 21, 2019 at 4:25 pm


  • Bone Tugs
    October 21, 2019 at 4:23 pm

    Wow. Really something for everyone here. A white trash pubestache shitbag, wearing an Elton John shirt, chumming up to sweaty muscular wrestlers, trying to sling for dope money, then getting bitchy about being called out. I have so many questions!

  • The Chicopee Chicken Choker
    October 21, 2019 at 3:50 pm


    Maybe stop with the backyard wrasslin’ bullshit, and get a REAL job. You’re not going to be discovered by the WWE, or any other wrasslin’ outfit, so just fucking stop. Man up, put away the fucking stupid belts, and go work at Wally World, or BJ’s, like a normal human being.

    Then you can buy food for your imaginary daughter, plan for your wedding with your Chicotrash Arm Candy, AND buy meth. See how that works?

    Now, get to it.

  • randiguy2006
    October 21, 2019 at 3:30 pm

    WAIT. Someone on the interweb isn’t telling truth?

    Thank god you warned us!

  • Russmo
    October 21, 2019 at 3:18 pm

    Jesus H Christ look at his fat fucking girl friend.
    She looks like Ernest Borgnine with tits

  • Right Josh
    October 21, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    I heard OReillys Auto Parts was looking for electricians out in western Massachusetts if he wants work

  • Zacks Dealer
    October 21, 2019 at 2:27 pm

    “take a short walk off a long peer” haha

    • Christopher Lettiere
      October 21, 2019 at 2:29 pm

      He’s such a dyck.

    • Lipstickhippie
      October 24, 2019 at 2:33 pm

      OMG he did, didn’t he? What a fucking retard. Haahaa
      And I can smell his greasy sweaty self through my laptop. Disgusting.

Comment on this Post


All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It