Hoodrat Heroes

Choke Slammin Ginger Wonder Booty IG Stripper/CNA Starts $4,500 GoFundMe For Lawyer’s Fees, Won’t Take 1.5 Year Plea Deal For Strangling Two Chicks, DA Wants 17 Years

Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here

Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Forever, the newest Turtleboy Sports page and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:



 

 

 

 

 

 

This is Kayly Burelle of Brooklyn, CT:

And this self described generic ginger is in a bit of trouble:

A 28-year-old Brooklyn woman charged with “choking out” two victims during an altercation outside a Putnam bar rejected a plea offer by prosecutors on Wednesday and now faces more than 17 years in prison if convicted at trial. Kayly Burelle, with a last-known address of 155 S. Main St. Apt. D, said she will not accept an offer of five years, suspended after 18 months, and three years of probation – with the right to argue for less – to settle charges of first-degree strangulation, first-degree unlawful restraint and several other charges lodged against her after her October 2016 arrest.

Judge John Newson noted a judicial pre-trial earlier in the day between Burelle, her lawyer, Martin Weiss and Assistant State’s Attorney Roger Caridad did not result in an acceptable deal. Newson said if Burelle is convicted at trial she faces a maximum term of 17 ½ years of imprisonment and $35,000 in fines. After accepting Burelle’s decision to move forward, Newson put the case on a 24-hour trial notice list.

Putnam police on Aug. 27, 2016 responded to Day Kimball Hospital for a report of a victim suffering from a spiral fracture to her right leg, according to an arrest warrant affidavit. Witnesses told police an argument between several individuals escalated outside Charlie Bravos, on Grove Street. The victim, who admitted being part of the argument, said she was sitting on her car when someone came up behind her and began “choking her out,” according to court documents. After regaining consciousness, the victim said she realized her leg was injured.

During a police interview, Burelle said she put one person in a “rear-naked choke hold to prevent further drama or fighting,” the warrant states.

“Everyone started screaming and yelling and when I got up, I walked over to (another victim) and did the same,” Burelle said, according to police.

Police said Burelle, who is free on a $5,000 bond, denied having any formal martial arts training, but “informally learned” Jujitsu techniques from friends.

Oh man, what a gambler! Facing 17 years in prison for literally choking a bitch (actually two bitches), she gets offered 18 months and turns it down. Ballsy.

Must’ve been one hell of a chokejob though to face that kind of sentence. Here’s my question – how do you break a chick’s leg by choking her? I feel like missing something here. Either way, for her to face that kind of jail time means she probably did something horrific. She must be pretty confident in her defense team. Good thing she started a GoFundMe to pay for it:

This broad is asking for $4,500! First of all, what kind of defense attorney is only gonna charge her $4,500 to beat a charge like this?

Secondly, she has two jobs and no kids. Of course her first job is a CNA. Because 99% of the ratchets we profile always end up being CNA’s, due to the fact that it’s on of the only jobs that lets you wear pajamas to work.

But her second job is far more lucrative. At least it should be…..

Holy butterface!! I’m so conflicted right now. This is the worst face to ass ratio I’ve ever seen. It’s gonna be hard for any guy to fap to that. Hard, but not impossible.

Of course the choke-slamming ginger wonder booty is an IG stripper and a distributor of cash noodz via Patreon. I’m sorry, but how do you have no kids, two jobs, one of which involves taking your clothes off for money, and you can’t afford an attorney? Newsflash – strippers are supposed to make good money. That’s the whole point of stripping. You’re trading away your dignity for cold, hard cash. Try getting a job at an actual strip club instead of begging for donations on Patreon. No one wants to pay for porn on a computer. But they’ll pay you $25 to grind on their porridge guns for a three minute Drake song.

Somehow she’s only raised $140 despite sharing the shit out of the on her IG:

Come on guys, if she goes to jail what are you gonna beat the baby batter to? Oh wait, the Internet is full of porn. I guess this is the moment when for Kayly realized that none of her fans actually care about her, so much as they do about her ginger wonder booty. And even that is easily replaceable.

According to her Patreon she’s also looking into doing a shibari shoot….

I have the solution to all your problems Kayly. There’s this street in Shrewsbury called Lamplighter Drive. You’re a little old to go there, but maybe if you cut your wrists or tell the sunglassed pineapple eating dominatrix who answers the door that you’re an emotionally damaged runaway, you might get free room and board. And if you’re lucky you’ll get collared and the he’ll pay for your legal fees.

Bottom line is Kayly should probably except the deal and do 18 months in lady’s jail. It won’t be so bad. She’ll make some new friends, scissor it up a little bit, she’ll be out, her booty will still be in tact, and she’ll still be under 30. It’s not like she has to worry about a CORI check or anything. She’s an IG stripper after all. You don’t even have to go to the Salter School for that, although many do anyway.

But yea, 17 years doesn’t sound like fun. And your $4,500 lawyer sounds like he might be overmatched by the DA. Just sayin.

16 Comment(s)
  • Yeast infection
    April 30, 2018 at 11:36 pm

    The elephant man called and he wants his forehead back….
    Holy Moses, “butter face” is too kind a term for this slutter gut!

  • TJB
    April 30, 2018 at 7:13 pm

    Meh. The ‘I’m a whore’ glamour shots should get her in the top five of next years didi fest.

  • Captain Obvious
    April 30, 2018 at 4:25 pm

    What is it with woman and their chest tattoos? They’re gross. I don’t want anything distracting me from boobs.

  • TDF
    April 30, 2018 at 4:17 pm

    That is quite the nice Dumpah

    • Hugh Hefner
      April 30, 2018 at 6:52 pm

      A butt like that might be acceptable on a 30-something soccer mom with 1-2 kids – but definitely not for a non-fat, 20-something bimbo.

      Raise your standards, dude. That ass is below average.

  • Randy
    April 30, 2018 at 2:25 pm

    Dude, fix your page, have to scroll past 1,000 “What Ever Happened to American Chopper” BS to get to comments.

    • I want to fuck her
      April 30, 2018 at 3:59 pm

      It’s accept.. Not except. Also i would ram the shit out of her and probably lick her asshole. I would pay 4 grand for 24 hours with her.

      • CohnJena
        May 2, 2018 at 2:36 pm

        My friend did fuck her. Apparently she has a sloppy snatch. He also took several STD tests when he was through

  • K
    April 30, 2018 at 1:04 pm

    I agree with most of these comments. we have no idea how the fight started And why she felt the need to do that. She said it was to stop a further altercation. On the other hand she’s crazy for not taking that deal. 99% of the time if you take it to trial you will lose and get more time than your plea.

    • z
      April 30, 2018 at 4:13 pm

      And the bonus time is because doing so has pissed off the judge and DA in doing so. They look at the charges, they look at your defense and say “Really? That’s it? That’s all you got?” I can’t believe any lawyer she retains isn’t saying. “Take the offer. Take the fucking offer.” If I was her lawyer I’d want a competency evaluation entered into the record. If I was the judge or DA, I’d suggest one be taken. I’d give her every chance to reconsider for her own good.

      She’s a shoe in for next years brackets. I know the year is early, but I’m guessing she makes the final 4.

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    April 30, 2018 at 12:59 pm

    An ass is a terrible thing to waste.

  • Nice ass....how unfortunate
    April 30, 2018 at 12:36 pm

    Ok first gross……..

    Secondly, I don’t know who these new Turtlebloggers are but the grammar in most of the posts has become embarrassing. Don’t knock people for going to “the Salter School”; when you are mocking them for not “excepting” a plea deal.

    • Writing "gonna" is more ignorant than saying it
      April 30, 2018 at 11:27 pm

      I agree! The grammar is atrocious. Who are these ignorant bloggers that use “gonna” repeatedly. What the flying fuck??? If you are going to insult someone else’s intelligence at least refrain from sounding more stupid than the person you are attempting to degrade. Fucking moron…..

      • Learn English you dickpod
        April 30, 2018 at 11:52 pm

        “Providence” turtleboy….. explains the shit grammar. The armpit of New England.

  • Rick Shaw
    April 30, 2018 at 12:19 pm

    She could derail a train. What a nasty pig. She must work at a Special Olympics strip club.

    • Fran
      April 30, 2018 at 12:36 pm

      Dude

      Ease up on the SO folks. Be happy you or your kids don’t qualify. Asshat

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It