Chudmuffin Parks His White Audi R8 In Handicapped Spots, Fire Lanes, And Multiple Regular Spots In Chelmsford Because Ballers Don’t Park Like The Commoners

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Here’s your asshole of the day out of Chelmsford:

Whoever drives this car is apparently trying out for the dickbag Olympics, and safe to say he’s taking home the gold. I got nothing against anyone who drives a car like that. Good for you for doing whatever it is that led you to this wonderful vehicle. We get it, you have a huge cock. But everyone already assumes you’re a self-centered dooshnozzle when they see you driving that thing. The least you can do is be a little bit inconspicuous, and at least pretend that you’re one of the common men.

Not this asshole though. Parking in one handicapped spot wasn’t enough for him. He had to take up TWO spots, because no one is ever allowed to park close to his chick white BMW.

Who owns this car anyway? That would be Sam Patel:

As you can see that is a different car. But the New Hampshire plates are the same. The car in his profile picture is the Audi A7. He’s since upgraded to the Audi R8 – a $125,000 car. Probably why Sam Patel gets to roll with Gronk:

Oh look, it’s the guy from the club who orders gray goose because his baller image is the only thing that matters, but doesn’t realize that the bartender filled it up with Mr. Boston’s because people like him don’t know the difference anyway.

An as you can see from the dress moccasins he wore to some bootleg red carpet event, he is a true player for real. Everyone knows that this is just how Patel’s roll. It’s like Americans named Kennedy or Hilton. Rules don’t apply to you because you’re rich off the family money. Ballers like this don’t park in one spot, and they certainly don’t give a flying fuck about the guy in the wheelchair. Not his problem you’re too lazy to walk.

The worst part about this? He was parking at a tanning salon. He’s also Indian, which makes tons of sense.

In fairness, we did reach out to Sam Patel for his side of the story. He initially claimed it wasn’t a handicapped spot. But once we pointed out that it clearly was, he switched his excuse to the “I was just in and out” schtick”:

“From the gym.” Who goes to the gym to just buy a drink? Oh right – no one. He just wanted to incorporate the fact that he goes to the gym into the conversation.

So yea, Sam Patel is your dooshnozzle of the day. And it would be a shame if something happened to his baby the next time he parks it in a handicapped spot. Just sayin.

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