WTF

City Of Worcester Spent $10,000 On Election Pens So Old People Might Go On The City’s Website

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You may have noticed if you went to vote in Worcester on Tuesday that you were forced to take one of these Christmas pens:

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Why you ask? Well, we have a bunch of inside sources who have alerted us to the fact that this is a concerted effort by Ed Augustus and Joe Petty to get more people voting and onto the city’s website. And in order to do that they had to pay over $10,000 in city money to pay for these. Here’s all the boxes of them:

Screen Shot 2015-09-08 at 11.20.56 PM

That’s a shitload of pens. Apparently they want more people to come to the city’s website, which is why they printed the URL on the pens. This is also ironic because by going to the city’s website we keep finding all these checks that they’re writing to groups like Mosaic and RBG’s poetry vacation to Oakland. D’OH!!!

But just take a minute and think about how stupid this is. Anyone with access to the Internet has already been to city’s website before. If you have a functioning grasp of how Google works, you can find out any pertinent information about the city in five seconds tops.

So who isn’t going to the city’s website? Oh yea, old people. Because old people think the Internet is where you go to get molested by Instaface. Old people hate the Internet and avoid it like a 6 PM dinner. Well guess what? When an old person gets this pen they’re not gonna be using it to type in that URL, because they don’t have wifi or iPhones. No, they’re gonna use this pen for what it was created to do – write shit. Mostly they’ll be using it to sign their wills, calculate 9% of a restaurant tip, or fill in the jumble. But they sure as hell won’t be using it to go on the city’s website.

This is yet another example of the complete tomfoolery that is the Petty and Augustus machine. It’s the type of shit they spend money on. This $10,000 could’ve been spent on 10 new computers at Worcester East Middle School, or created three jobs for kids to walk around picking up trash spewn all over the city.

But instead we bought a bunch of Christmas pens that won’t put a single person on the Internet who wasn’t already there. Because…..Worcester.

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14 Comment(s)
  • September 9, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    The City of Worcester pledged to hand out those pens to all voters (at the polls) at the September 8th preliminary election and to all voters (at the polls) at the November 3rd municipal election. With 92,214 registered voters, the city would have needed to purchase in excess of 180,000 pens. To use TurtleBoy’s figure, $10,000 was spent on all those pens. That’s just over 5¢ per pen (and nearly 11¢ per voter). That’s fairly reasonable, if you ask me!
    Staples sells the same pen, with no advertising/personalization for nearly 9¢ apiece. Clearly, the City’s purchasing agent has more clout than Staples!
    A more interesting figure to note will be how many of those pens will still be in the City’s hands after the election in November. One can reasonably assume that the City’s 90,000-plus voters will not all show up for both elections!

  • peter morse
    September 9, 2015 at 12:20 pm

    If a need a free pen I usually pick one up when I’m at my bank. TD Bank has decent “free pens” for the taking. None of those cheap pens that have the removable cap. There’s are the type that has the pen tip that can retract so it doesn’t leak on your shirt front . Just remember to hit the top so the tip is inside the housing.

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      September 9, 2015 at 5:37 pm

      Long way to go to describe a retractable pen.

  • Hahahaha
    September 9, 2015 at 7:27 am

    So, your pick for mayor can’t get within 1000 votes of the current mayor and you get all butt hurt and complain about pens? Just so you know, many businesses buy pens with names, logos, and web addresses on them. It’s called marketing. Also I’ve bought those kind of pens before for my own company and they don’t cost $10,000 for that small stack of pens. Who ever told you that was either lying, an idiot, or not showing you the 7 other pallets of pens that would make that cost more believable. So unless you have proof of them costing that much go lick your wounds and hope maybe you have some closet readers that might show up in November (doubtful LOL).

    • Hob Nob
      September 9, 2015 at 9:39 am

      It’s the amazing time travelling, pen buying dippy hippie!

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      September 9, 2015 at 10:46 am

      Because government waste isn’t a thing. Have we already forgotten Al Gore going on Letterman and using a couple hundred dollar hammer to smash an ash tray? Is ten grand for pens REALLY out of the realm of possibility?

    • Devils Mouthpiece
      September 9, 2015 at 11:30 am

      Based on a quick pricing exercise on that internet thingy. That’s about 45k pens which could easily fit into that space. Seven other pallets my azz.

  • A. Dookie Pyle
    September 9, 2015 at 7:22 am

    My poll worker was very insistent that I check out the city website to, you know, can pay your bills online and stuff like that.(direct quote) Please take the pen home so you don’t forget the web address, she said. Her patronizing attitude made me pissed. Gee, was it the dirty working on the truck clothes I had on that made her think I ain’t got no freekin smahhts to figure that out? Or is it because I don’t live on the west side so must be another poor dumbass city slob? Then, finding out it was a ten grand waste of money for the Xmas in September plastic crappy pen? It’s going into the yet another stupid is as stupid does Worcester archive collection in my house.

  • Nanny
    September 9, 2015 at 6:13 am

    The poll worker asked me if I wanted a free pen. I told her I was sure I was paying more than the pen is worth for the pen.

    I voted at lunchtime. I had a work from home day. I cast ballot number 207, right in front of Crash Murray.

  • David
    September 9, 2015 at 5:33 am

    Sadly,At the end of the day. No one cares about politics. Least not enough. No matter who’s in, most the city will still have the same shitty life. It’s not like anyone up for election is promising real change. If they did no one would trust them anyways. Politicians are like police. Most people hate them, few kiss their ass n support. At the end of the day you can’t get people to vote just because you told them to on a blog. You have to go protest and really make noise. Oh wait,nvm. Fighting for change is a no no here.

    • Hob Nob
      September 9, 2015 at 9:34 am

      Hidy ho dippy hippie

  • squirtleboy
    September 9, 2015 at 2:21 am

    ill take a box of worcester pens

  • SUL
    September 9, 2015 at 1:17 am

    Poor showing for Michael Gaffney supporters at the polls

    • Ted
      October 12, 2015 at 9:32 am

      And EVERYONE used these pens in place of the black flair-type pens that are supposed to be used to mark the ballots because they handed tgem out on the way IN to the pct. not on the way out. 99% left these pens in the pct as well. Money well spent.

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