Sports

Colts Trading 2014 Loser DVD’s For Prescription Drugs Is The Most Colts Thing I’ve Ever Seen

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This tweet is the most Indianapolis Colts thing I have ever seen:

Screen Shot 2015-08-06 at 5.18.30 PM

It’s like they’re trying to make fun of themselves. This sounds like a joke I would make about the Colts, but in reality it’s a real thing that the Colts are promoting. They just make it too easy to laugh at them. A team whose owner was arrested for being a prescription pill junkie:

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trying to collect pills, which will almost definitely end up in Jim Irsay’s glove compartment. And what do you get if you give uncle Jim all your unused percosets? A highlight DVD of their 2014 season. The same season that ended in a 45-7 whitewashing in Foxboro. The same team who was handed four of their 11 wins simply because they are fortunate enough to play in the same division as the Titans and Jaguars. This is something that they not only celebrate with banners

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but also commemorate with DVD’s. Hey Colts fans, you know what we call a Patriots loss in the AFC Championship up here in New England? A bad dream. A complete failure. A wasted season. And what do the Colts call it? Trade bait for prescription drugs. This is why we have duckboat parades and you have stock cars driving around a track 500 times.

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6 Comment(s)
  • Sissy Hankshaw
    August 8, 2015 at 9:01 am

    how does that dvd even end? do they just have regular season highlights and end it like “and the colts were off to the playoffs once again. raise the motherfucking playoff contender banner”

  • Sweyn Forkbeard
    August 7, 2015 at 7:38 pm

    Hey Turtleboy, if I got really hammered and drove around your fair city of Worcester with my car full of pills and $29,029 in cash, would I get pulled over by the police? What would the police do when they found the pills and the cash? Here in Indy they apologize for bothering you and offer you a ride home. Thank the Lord Jimbo wasn’t caught with deflated balls.

  • Adam
    August 7, 2015 at 7:37 am

    Stock car racing is a lot of fun, just saying. BYOB, fast cars, chicks in daisy dukes and bikini tops. Could be worse. Yes there are fat drunken hill billies too, but get some good seats and you don’t have to deal with that.

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    August 6, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Irsay’s gonna call his buddy Rush Limbaugh and they’re going to have a pill poppin’ party.

  • Maggie the Cat
    August 6, 2015 at 6:02 pm

    I am beginning to believe that “Deflategate” was a pre-planned conspiracy to defame Brady and the Patriots. There’s a lot of illegal betting on football out there, and those involved would stop at nothing (except murder, I hope) to affect the odds.

  • Nanny
    August 6, 2015 at 4:47 pm

    I’m Nanny and I approve of this message.

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