Con Artist Plumber’s Pipe Receptacle Wants Blog Taken Down, Becomes Best Friends With Deskie, Confirms Crazy Allegations, Can’t Keep Her Lies Straight

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A few days ago, we exposed a bootleg “plumber” who has stolen thousands of dollar from well meaning, unsuspecting home owners to finance what looks like a pretty comfortable lifestyle. If you haven’t already, you can read it here. 

Since the blog came out, people have come forward with their stories. It’s heartbreaking, and just plain pisses me off to hear the damage he caused. My sources have asked to stay anonymous, out of a mix of fear of retaliation, ongoing litigation again Dennis, and just plain embarrassment. That seems to be an angle he was counting on – people just don’t feel good admitting they gave thousands of dollars to some crackhead looking hack who never did a thing that was promised. Live and learn. Most of these people are clearly kind-hearted, generous people who bought Dennis’s sob stories, and felt bad for his kids. Dennis made sure of that.

One woman gave Dennis a chunk of her retirement savings to do a pretty large plumbing job, just to have it never completed. Dennis then gave excuse after excuse as to why he could not pay her back the money that he took for doing exactly dick. Then, Christmas time rolls around and Dennis came to the woman he just screwed over for a large sum of money she has asked not be disclosed, “shaking and sobbing” trying to sell her a camera, crying that he couldn’t afford to get Christmas gifts for his children. This kind lady, who clearly has learned a lesson in who to trust, actually lent him money. She later found out it wasn’t spent on the children, confirmed by multiple sources close to the family. I don’t want to hear about how the victim’s own stupidity is at fault here. I can’t in good conscience fault trust and kindness, over cold-hearted, flat out scamming. One of these things should exist. The other should not.

Dennis was given waaaaaay over the benefit of the doubt to correct his wrongdoing. And for some magical reason, wiring money and sending pictures of receipts through text works for everyone else in the world, except Dennis.


People have come out of the woodwork with their very own Megan and Dennis stories. And the tune sounds all the same. Dennis would come in, do small jobs to gain trust, and then slowly over time develop a personal relationship. He would flaunt his children (and we’ll get to that), charm people with his girlfriend, attend parties and then start to ask for favors. He would commit to large jobs and require deposits, or large sums of money for materials, and then just never do the work. And the excuses are plentiful with this one:


He was so committed to paying back the stolen money, he collapsed at the Walmart line, you guys!

He just never seemed to be able to catch a break.

To further solidify Dennis’s spot in the Pussyfart Parthenon, he is currently over $20,000 in arrears in child support, according to sources who know the family. So, he’s not just out there stiffing customers, landlords and the DEP….he’s stiffing his own children, too. Real standup guy we have here. His main concern is himself and his girlfriend. They’ve both made that abundantly clear.

We don’t report anything, if we’re not certain it’s the truth. Ever.  This guy is a scammer, a thief, and a total pussified liar. He squirms around like a little kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Except, holy fuck, were those expensive cookies.

Speaking of expensive cookie, Dennis’s girlfriend made the ever-so-wise choice to poke the Turtle, and claim that we published false information in the original story. But we don’t do that here. In fact, she was largely cut out of the first blog, due to insufficient evidence that she was so much as aware, let alone involved. That’s responsible reporting. We didn’t post up pictures of her living a nice lifestyle online in the timeframe that Dennis was running around taking money from unsuspecting “customers” like a kid in a fucking candystore. They did. The internet is written in ink, people. Not pencil. And the internet is forever. I had a gut instinct that she was aware, benefitting, and at least complicit. But I sucked it up and cut her out. What little was left of her, was because she happened to be around this scumshit while he robbed everyone he could blind. There’s a lesson in this, kiddies. Before you play bumpercunts, scrutinize the other person’s moral fiber enough to determine “Will you ever tangle me up in a Turtleboy Expose? If the answer is even “maybe”, put your fucking pants back on and don’t pose for Facebook pictures.

Megan made a statement denying any knowledge of Dennis’s shady ass business ventures:

But screenshots are forever,

and the screenshots determined that to be a lie. Whoops. She knew well over a year ago, at the very least. But don’t take our word for it. Take hers.

But of course, as always, our dutiful desk girl, Abi, was there to try to help her in any way she could. I hope Abi doesn’t need any plumbing work done any time soon, you guys. She’s naive, and totally believes that Megan is an innocent victim in this.



Oh, Abi. Your desperation is so painful sometimes.

She filled out Deskie’s trusty blog removal form (that girl sure does like paperwork):

So together they tried to find just one piece of false information:

It’s ALWAYS a gift vacation!! Candy Dennis and every other ratchet we catch spending money like this ALWAYS has a sugar daddy who pays for vacations to Florida. Never fails. Silly little Shamu, everything’s a gift when you’re living off stolen money!!

But Megan just can’t keep up with her own lies. She says she paid for the car, but four different people have come forward to say that shortly after Dennis took a HUGE amount of money from a victim in late 2015, Megan quit her job, Dennis was “too broke” to buy Christmas presents for his children, borrow some more money off one of his victims, and then in January of 2016, Megan wins a….brand….new…!!

Funny how the truth works, you lying little scumbaggette.

But Abi’s a trooper, and sick of eating taco bell and shitting her brains out alone, so she kept digging in to help Megan uncover just one piece of false information…

Oh, no. That didn’t hold up either! Well, there’s got to be something….right….?

Unfortunately for Megan, we do our research and speak to credible sources. You know, people who can stick to one consistent story.

But if there’s any consolation here, Abi is totally down to take a trip to Sea World!

She did confirm some interesting little nuggets of information we missed that a rider pointed out in the comments: Denny got gonorrhea from a stripper working at the Doll House in Rhode Island. Abi is just so understanding, and totally gets what it’s like to be full of shit.

Her lady bits are clean, Abi, looks like you’re good to go! If you want to take a gamble on trusting anything that comes out of this broad’s cheese slurping mouth. Because Dennis did, most definitely, get fired from that company, and call more than once throughout the years, to beg for his job back. Per the former boss, not an ice cubes chance in hell.

To solidify Megan’s stellar credibility, she claimed she and Dennis were no longer on speaking terms:

But then just couldn’t control her Ratchet Rage and had to stand by her man!

Ratchet Jesus, Lady. You cant possibly be blaming us, for your sleazy scammer boyfriend ripping off all those people. We didn’t come up with this shit out of thin air. I he hasn’t used homeowners spanning almost all of Massachusetts as his personal discretionary fund, there would be no story. Nice empathy and remorse, though, you complicit cunt. She’s clearly not the brightest so I guess I have to spell it out – we’re more concerned about all the lives he ruined. The bed he made is irrelevant, so go get on your back in it with him. Spread that fupa wide!

I feel like this is redundant, but we’ll say it again. We’re responsible in what we publish, even if the words are mean. We don’t just swoop in on people because of their weight, or IQ, their gender, their sexual orientation, what bathroom they use, or even if they’re getting high on all the drugz. All these things independently are permissible and none of out fucking business. You have to be a real shithead, with no interest in getting your life together and being a decent fucking human being, to end up Turtleboy famous. Sorry if your feelz get injured, but there is an easy solution. Don’t be a scumbag or scumbaggette. And for the love of God, Don’t poke the turtle.

15 Comment(s)
  • Glauber
    September 26, 2018 at 4:47 pm

    I was scammed by Dennis last year, I want to take him to small claims! Anyone here has his address?

  • John
    September 17, 2018 at 12:18 am

    I find this kind of petty, not very credible if the author hides behind the blog site and doesn’t state who they are? Anyway I’m a sales rep that helped Megan get financial help in the purchase of her car. And by no means was there a 13000.00 down payment as you led the readers to believe. As far as anything else “ quoted “ I have no idea. Never met the man Dennis or the writer of this blog. But I have a hard believing the stuff about Megan just because of the way you misled readers regarding the purchase of her car. Anyway in this woman’s defense your always welcome here, and if you want to trade in your car do to problems this uniformed person has said about you please come see us. Best of luck

    • I'm back
      September 17, 2018 at 8:22 am

      Hi Megan.. nice try.. btw I am interested, I find you sexy as hell

    • Y
      September 17, 2018 at 1:47 pm

      John, fuck off. You can hide behind you white knight BS, but we all know you just want another commission check (and maybe another hummer from the BlowHog).

      • John
        September 20, 2018 at 11:33 pm

        Y are you so dumb ? My name is John Thomas and I speak the truth according to my experience. I do not hide behind a letter and spew garbage from my mouth as you seem to have done. For a person as smart as you may think you are ? You are really not to smart , regarding the comment you left me. A simple fact known all over the internet is that we all work for salaries and not commission. And as far as your second quote , well that just shows how little character you have. I suggest you grow up and do some homework beforehand and stop hiding behind the letter Y. I hope mommy hasn’t put you to bed yet so you can still get this before the school bus picks you up.

  • Mahty Flynn
    September 15, 2018 at 7:38 pm

    What a fat fuck, glad her clap cleared up. I’d still be afraid of crabs and syphillis so I’ll pass on the pork
    sword swallowing skank.

  • DaTruth
    September 15, 2018 at 4:55 pm

    She was along for the ride and knew he was stealing and spent the money no problem. She is just as bad. She broke up with him once it went public. Prior to that had no issues spending stolen money for lifestyle she can’t afford.

  • Paul Manafort
    September 15, 2018 at 4:06 pm

    You guys are doing great work skewering this con man. Taking notes here.

  • i"m back
    September 15, 2018 at 1:40 pm

    She took everything down, no more FB or twitter… or Insta, I really wanted to hook up with her. Damn! I wanted to do all 3 holes. Oh well. her loss…….

  • Chubby Chaser
    September 15, 2018 at 12:32 pm

    Maybe he had to steal the money to keep Chub Rock here fed? I have to admit she’s a real biggen but I think she has a decent face.

  • TBfan
    September 15, 2018 at 11:57 am

    I love it when Abi innocently befriends the subject and the “blog removal form” is pure genius!

  • Leroy Jenkem
    September 15, 2018 at 9:25 am

    Doing you all a big solid. U want to get high legally and save a shit load of money for other things I got one word for you Jenkem. I was a sceptic to unless I tried it and it works all natural so it can’t harm you the important thing is setting it setup setting it set right and inhaling it right with the right setup thats what makes it safe and powerful hits hard as shit and still smooth and mellow for hours.

    • No Thanks
      September 15, 2018 at 9:55 am

      Sorry, Dennis and Megan, but we don’t want your crack cocaine.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    September 14, 2018 at 9:25 pm

    Gonorrhea, eh? That must leave a putrid snail-trail in her britches or g(onorrhea) string. Who, in their right minds, fucks strippers? A pair of gutter rats, these two. She must be sniffing or smoking that coca light shit.

    • John Mcafee
      September 14, 2018 at 11:27 pm

      I sold her MDPV aka bath salts. She be fine.

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