WTF

Couldn’t Be Happier That 19 Kids And Counting Is Cancelled Because The Duggars Are Dooshnozzles Who Covered Up Their Child Molester Son

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I’ve been watching the Duggar family unravel for the past week as the revelation that the oldest son, Josh Duggar 26, is a confessed child molester, and I can’t stop following it. And let me tell you, I HATE 19 kids and counting with a passion. It made the list of the worst shows that Mrs. Turtleboy watches, when we did that blog last July. So as you can imagine, I’m pretty psyched to find out that I will never, ever have to watch this God-forsaken show ever again.

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Here’s my Turtleboy takes on this whole affair.

  • The Duggars are completely full of shit. They’ve railed against the evils of homosexuality and gay marriage and talked about how dangerous it is to kids. Meanwhile their oldest son is diddling his own sisters. Frauds.
  • I HATE Jim Bob with every ounce of my body. The guy thinks he’s God’s gift to ovaries. He’s always got this stupid grin on his face because he thinks he’s hot shit because of his superhuman fertility. And why wouldn’t he? His boys could swim across the English Channel five times without stopping for fish and chips. Then again it’s easy to make babies when you tell your wife that she’ll be spending your entire marriage together accepting your seed, and there will be no debate about it.

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  • The Mom is on Prozac. The mere sound of her voice makes me want to burn things. No human being can possibly be that happy after bearing 19 children. No human being can be that calm with 19 children. I have one son, Turtleboy Jr, and he’s insane. If you followed me around with a camera I’d have steam coming out of my ears 90% of the time. All he does is grab shit that can kill him. I’m in this constant battle to keep him alive and I have no choice because I’m driven by love. But yea, he drives me nuts. Yet I have never once seen Michelle Duggar raise her voice, get mad, or even have to discipline one of her 19 children. That’s not real, which is ironic because it’s reality TV.

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  • I think it’s bullshit that they raise their kids to be dumbasses. They’re all home schooled, which is fine. But the reason they’re home schooled isn’t because they don’t trust public education. It’s because the human incubator wants free baby-sitting. They’re ultimately just selfish dooshnozzles.
  • Anyone who would agree to have their children’s privacy invaded for their financial benefit is a selfish prick. Especially when you’ve raised your kids to think that voicing displeasure is a one-way ticket to hell.
  • If Turtleboy Jr. did what Josh Duggar did when he was 14, I can’t say I’d turn him into the cops. I’m seeing a lot of self-righteous nudniks out there call the Duggars out on this. If your initial instinct isn’t to protect your kid from the police then you have no soul.
  • The most bullshit part about what they did with Josh Duggar is that they sent him down the street to dig holes at a friend’s house. No counseling. As if manual labor will somehow teach you not to molest kids. The kid is fucked in the head. He needed psychological help. But since the Duggar’s think the world is 5,000 years old, they obviously reject all things science. This is how democrats get elected.

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  • At the same time, if they knew he was a child molester they never should’ve agreed to do the show because the truth obviously would come out. I mean, this is 2015. How did they possibly think this could stay a secret? Your number one job as a parent is to protect your kids and put them first. The Duggars did the exact opposite. They knew about this deep, dark family secret, and still agreed to do a television show that would expose them to millions and millions of people. Now they’re taking tons of shit for this and their lives will never be the same. And all so Jim Bob could strut his shit and show the world how dominant his sperm is.
  • I need a scandal like this to happen on Dance Moms and I needed it yesterday. Because that show is the bane of my existence. And of course Mrs. Turtleboy cannot get enough of it. There’s just no way possible that Abby Lee Miller doesn’t have a mountain of skeletons in her closet. We’re talking about a grown ass, single woman, who spends her time telling 9-year-old girls how worthless they are. Someone out there please, find me an Abby Lee Miller scandal.

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  • I think they’re not bad people, and people who don’t agree with their politics are having a wet dream right now. Obviously the Duggars are extremely right wing. And to me, extremely ANY-wing is bad. Are they hypocrites? Yup. But at the end of the day I think the Duggar family would give the shirts off their backs for their fellowman. And I think my friends on the far left are having WAY too much fun soaking in the glory that is the capitulation of this ultra right wing family of 21. But please, give me 99 Duggars any day of the week over Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O’Donnell, or Whoopi Goldberg.

I think they bring out the best and worst of both sides. Like I said right above this, liberals are soaking themselves in Duggar tears right now. But the lengths that conservatives will go to defend this family is INSANE. Let’s check out what geniuses are saying on the 19 Kids and Counting Facebook page.

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Oh yea, everyone makes mistakes. Tons of families see their oldest child digitally penetrate all of his sisters, cover it up, and then make millions of dollars off of their children by forcing them to be on a reality TV show. It’s such a completely relatable situation that any American can imagine themselves being in. Staying out past curfew, smoking cigarettes, molseting your sisters. These are all common mistakes we’ve all made as teenagers.

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Yea, this was definitely “taken care of.” And if by “taken care of” you mean ignored, undiagnosed, and swept under the rug, then yes, it certainly has been “taken care of.”

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Yea TLC. If it happened 14-15 years ago, they can’t be held accountable for it. It’s like it never happened.

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First of all, is your last name really Didler? Is this really the appropriate forum to be commenting on Mrs. Didler? Anyway, like I said before, I agree that if I was Mr. Supersperm Jim Bob, it would’ve stayed a private family matter. You know what’s a good way to make sure family secrets remain actual secrets? Don’t star in your own reality TV show.

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The fact that Aimee Esquivell here thinks this is the best show on TV tells me everything I need to know about her. That and the fact that she thinks cancelling a TV show that was centered around children on account of multiple incidents of child molestation is “blowing it out of proportion.” Although she’s obviously one of these southern morons who got married at the age of 20 on account of horny-ness, so I should’ve expected nothing less. This is what we’re dealing with.

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This is how old she is:

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A freshmen in college getting married. Because getting married when you’re 18 so that you’re never tempted to have sex before marriage is a perfectly healthy way to begin a family. Who else did it that way? Oh yea, the Duggars.

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Oh just fuck off already. There’s nothing worse than someone who quotes the Bible to prove their point. Every time some hoodrat gets shot and people point out the fact that he was a drug dealer, this is usually the token Bible passage to quote. As if that makes you deep or something. Look, I’m a Christian and all, but the moment I try to use the Bible to prove my point is the moment I’ve lost the argument.

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See that? That’s why democrats win elections. Because republicans for whatever reason align themselves with these nutjobs. Newsflash – it’s not the media’s job to protect you from yourself. It’s their job to get page views. And guess what? A cover up sexual abuse scandal involving a family who preaches to everyone else about what is evil and what is not, is going to get page views. You know what would’ve been a good way for the Duggars not to have their lives ruined? Not sign on to do a reality TV show.

The bottom line is that while Jim Bob was strutting his shit and running for Congress, he was ignoring his kids. Kids need love and affection constantly. And taking them to the zoo because the cameras are rolling for an episode of your reality TV show doesn’t cut it. Josh Duggar was a severely damaged individual who needed his parents to set him up with a counselor. But instead they ignored him because they were too busy trying to make more kids.

But at the end of the day there is no more 19 Kids and Counting. Today is a GREAT day for Turtleboy. 
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8 Comment(s)
  • Anon
    August 9, 2016 at 5:21 am

    To be honest, I agree with your opinion. However, of I had a child who had done what Josh had done, I wouldn’t have protected him, as what he did is inexcusable and wrong. Nobody who committed the crime he had should be protected, they should be turned in immediately

  • StickinToMyOpinion
    May 27, 2015 at 9:07 pm

    Watched a couple of times, JimBob struck me as freaky /cultish. They’re nympho maniacs. Josh- once a pedophile, always a pedophile & pedophiles should be executed. Period.

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    May 27, 2015 at 7:08 am

    It’s comforting that I have never \heard of this show, until now, and the exact reason I rarely turn the idiot box on in the first place. Nothing worthwhile to see…

  • joeMomma
    May 27, 2015 at 6:12 am

    Call your cable company and tell them you don’t want to pay for The Loser Channel.

  • O the humanities
    May 27, 2015 at 5:00 am

    I hereby dub the coveted brown cap “ASSHAT”

  • RSoxGuy
    May 26, 2015 at 11:03 pm

    So he was 14 when he did it? At 14 you know damn well what you are doing is wrong. Sickening.

  • GraftonHill
    May 26, 2015 at 9:06 pm

    This show hasn’t been cancelled just “pulled from the schedule”…. I *hope* it’s cancelled soon. Advertisers have started to pull out their support from the show, it’s a matter of time.

  • RJ
    May 26, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    19 kids?

    Jesus, woman. It’s a vagina, not a clown car.

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