Creepy Casanova Defends His Honor By Attacking His Victim and Threatening Violence, Doesn’t Understand How Facebook Works

Oh, Brendon, Brendon, Brendon. In the words of Bristol Turtlechick, I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.



Yesterday I wrote this blog about Brendon Laflamme, who sent unsolicited, sexually explicit messages to a woman he went to high school with and apparently hasn’t spoken to in years.

There were mixed reviews on the blog. Some said it wasn’t worthy of Turtleboy. Others went so far as to say I shouldn’t have pointed out that he had his employer’s information in plain sight on his wide open Facebook profile. Last night, I was actually starting to second guess myself and wonder if I shouldn’t have written the blog.

Thankfully, dumb people do dumb things, and this genius decided that the best way to defend himself was to attack his victim in a glorious, typo laden sentagraph.

Yes, the old “she’s a slut so she deserves to be sexually harassed” defense. The same tactic used by slimy defense attorneys to imply that rape victims were asking for it. Good call!

Brendon doubled down in the comments.

So to review, she’s a whore who made a fake profile of him. But he posted these comments to the same profile that the message came from. And it was really his buddy who sent the messages from the profile that isn’t really him while he was in the other room getting laid. He also wouldn’t touch her with a 10 foot pole because he can get a different girl every night, yet there isn’t a single picture of him with a female anywhere on this profile that isn’t him but he’s posting to. Got it.

I’ve learned a few things in life. One is that when a guy brags about how many women he sleeps with, usually the only sex he’s having is with Mary Palm and her 5 sisters.

Someone close to this sexting simpleton must have given him a little good advice, because he deleted the entire post shortly after it went up. However guys like him never learn and he decided to go on another rant.

I’ve read it 2 dozen times and I still can’t understand it all. Google translate really needs to add a Ratchet option. I’m telling you, that’s a million dollar idea.

He seems to think that his victim is the one who wrote the blog. Let me explain it to you, dummy. You sent the crude messages to a woman with a boyfriend. Her boyfriend posted it to his Facebook page with 5,000 friends. A long time Turtle Rider tagged me in the post and here we are. I’m Turtle Driver. Not so nice to meet you.

He also said that we made things up (they always say that) and that we used posts that were “mad old.”

Not content to simply deflect, lie, and victim blame, Brendon decided to physically threaten the woman he sent the texts to.

“You don’t want to see me in person cuz I’d knock u out like the dude u look like.”

Smart. Threaten her and insult her looks at the same time. It’s not like you were trying to hit on her or anything.

Again common sense or good advice took over, because this post has also been deleted. Unfortunately for Phonically Challenged Phil here, screenshots and the internet are forever.

I’ll be honest, I feel fully vindicated for writing the initial blog. Brendon is obviously a giant bag of douche who deserves the public ridicule. Do yourself a favor, pal, and stop sexting random woman. It never ends well.

If you need me, I’ll be over here working on my ratchet decoder ring.


32 Comment(s)
  • Unknown
    November 23, 2019 at 7:08 pm

    Yes, let’s defend this beautiful young innocent woman who has done no wrong throughout her 25 yrs, in this world! Hello, people, though just a simple Google search, she is a mom, stripper, heroin and fentanyl addict, who has been involved with DHS. Now we all know what addict’s are willing to do to get their next fix, right?! I’m sure she never gets unsolicited sex messages from strangers everyday with her half or almost naked pictures on Instagram! Is it her boyfriend or her that you want Turtel Boy, because my daughter just got a sext message yesterday, let’s put that low life scum up on blast tomorrow along with the company he works for, because your damn right, if one goes down they all should! Come on ladies let’s teach the lowlife little shits and shut down every had working small business in America just to satisfy Turtle Boy #letsruineveryyoungman#shutdownsmall businessforturtleqboy

  • Daniel Sullivan
    The Real Shane Hoban
    November 22, 2019 at 2:59 pm

    Looks like I have some competition. Although seriously no one treats women worse than I do. Lol step up your game kid.

  • don
    November 22, 2019 at 8:44 am

    Ive seen so much ratchet shit in my life that I cant believe everything unless i see every text. I notice people like this usually leave out the things that THEY did wrong in the texts and only show the juicy shit. What was she texting back to him? Did she threaten him in order for him to threaten her? We dont know because we dont have all the texts. We can come to our own conclusions, but without her texts i cant say he did anything wrong. well besides his grammar. I just cant believe one sided stories.

  • micksmercantile
    Wastefield Woman
    November 21, 2019 at 8:13 pm

    Seriously……why are people defending this little asshole? Poor baby might lose his job? Women will Google him and find out he’s on his way to the registry? Being 20 gives you an excuse to be a disrespectful fuck boy? His Mommy or Daddy might find out they failed miserably at raising their kid?

    It’s TB for fucks sales. You used to enjoy but you lost respect because they called out a waste of coitus? Fuck out here with that. As far as I’m concerned this is a PSA and they’re doing God’s work when they blow up dirt bags like this. Hey Brendon…. I dare you to send these types of messages to one of my nieces. You will pray for the days of TB blowing up your games. You would run away crying to your Momma, or Daddy if you even know who he is. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

  • Former TB fan
    November 21, 2019 at 6:50 pm

    Um. He’s 20 years old. He says and does dumb shit. Didn’t rape anyone, scam anyone out of money, etc. Yet his name will be attached to these posts forever.

    Turtleboy, you are a real piece of shit. I was a fan for a long time but you have lost a lot of respect lately.

    • TD
      November 22, 2019 at 8:40 am

      He’s 25

  • Dr. Fill
    November 21, 2019 at 5:11 pm

    Hi English and grammar is better than anyone who writes for TurtleBoy.

  • Cheddah
    November 21, 2019 at 3:20 pm

    Out of all the ratchet fucks featured on here, the ones from RI seem to be the dumbest. Just my humble opinion…

  • Julie the Jarhead
    November 21, 2019 at 3:19 pm

    Am I the only person here that thinks Mr Laflamme looks like UT?

  • Monsterrod von Hugenstein
    November 21, 2019 at 3:04 pm

    I can’t read more than a line or two of that retard’s ramblings before my eyes cross. Leave him alone, you fuckers! He couldn’t have harassed anybody! He was totally having sex in a bedroom. With a female! Hahaha.

  • Old Randy
    November 21, 2019 at 2:34 pm

    I’m just impressed with the Commander Cody reference. Well done.

  • crownthatman
    November 21, 2019 at 2:32 pm

    Casanova crap on her mug? Get the king his crown.

  • Nell
    November 21, 2019 at 2:31 pm

    Good thing fencing season is over.
    Yea. First blog calling for his job was weak. He’s collecting unemployment now anyway. Maybe the boss will forget about this by spring. Maybe this will teach him to act like a fucking adult. I had a fraction of sympathy for him. Then he threatens a girl? Now he deserves the full ratchet treatment.

  • You're FIRED
    November 21, 2019 at 2:18 pm

    Who really gives a shit if this dildo gets fired from the fence company? It would probably be a blessing anyway.
    Everyone knows the real money is in being a writer for Turtleboy Sports.
    I’ve read Brendons work and he definitely has the chops for it.

  • WeRFucked
    November 21, 2019 at 2:06 pm

    Yet “Spic Tormentor” gets a pass here. Makes sense. smh

    • Spic Tormentor
      November 21, 2019 at 3:34 pm

      Why don’t you cry about it you fucking faggot

    • Real_Finn
      November 21, 2019 at 5:41 pm


      Need a tissue? If you’re going to cry – take it outside.

      Get Fucked,

  • Leah geanduso and the smelly gash
    November 21, 2019 at 2:05 pm

    Any way whecan get me hired at the fence company? Do we know how much pull he has with the company?

  • Alan Bohdiewicz
    AJ Alphonse
    November 21, 2019 at 2:02 pm

    This kids period button broken or what?

  • Joe dirte
    November 21, 2019 at 2:01 pm

    Guy likes to see homos naked I dono.

  • Judge dread
    November 21, 2019 at 1:50 pm

    His picture tells me everything I need to know. Roids or crystal meth. Also I bet this chud stuffer has court next week. He looks like someone who tortured animals as a child. Ratchet Rollins will let him walk.

  • Alan Gamble
    November 21, 2019 at 1:35 pm

    So, boyfriend is on his girlfriends Facebook and see’s Creepy messages from Brendon.

    Boyfriend thinks “I will post these on my Facebook page and show this bastard”.

    This ends up on TB and boyfriend has to be thinking “I showed him”.

    Then in a sudden twist of fate, boyfriend is forced to ask his girlfriend the hard question “did you really let that dude ‘pee in your mouth and shit on your chest’?”

    I have to say this definitely didn’t go as planned for the boyfriend.

  • Josh
    November 21, 2019 at 1:20 pm

    So some asshole messages a guys girlfriend propositioning her to fuck, and the boyfriend posts it to facebook instead of posting it to the assholes face with his fist. What a pussy!

  • Dove
    November 21, 2019 at 1:11 pm

    I am lmao!! Well deserved.

  • Whofuckencares
    November 21, 2019 at 1:08 pm

    Turtleboy lowered himself again!! Losing respect. Billions of people sext! Who cares leave him alone . He isn’t doing it to your wife and he didn’t harm anyone. Plus there’s 2 sides and I am sure that chick is an attention whore too.

  • Over reaching is the devil
    November 21, 2019 at 1:00 pm

    Is it just me or is this unsolicited sexting story just as unenventful as it was yesterday? You forget to encourage the public to get this douche fired over practically nothing. Still not enough reason to go after his employment. Keep reaching though

  • ncfoothillbilly
    November 21, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    Well, kid, you were given the benefit of the doubt by many and you went and fucked that up. Way to go.

  • Spic Tormentor
    November 21, 2019 at 12:35 pm

    this dude is clearly autistic or has some sort of sped disability.

    • Spic Tormentor
      November 21, 2019 at 12:44 pm

      I’m all for exposing scum bags and creeps but this dude is obviously mentally handicapped. Good on that fencing company for hiring him.

  • Dees nutz
    November 21, 2019 at 12:34 pm

    Congrats dipshit. Now any girl that might actually give you a chance just has to type your name into google to find out how much of a Douche Canoe you are, and how you also didn’t pass your GED. FUCKTARD! Enjoy disease infested prosties because that’s the only ass you will ever be getting in your future.

    • Johnsmith
      November 21, 2019 at 1:22 pm

      He was fired

  • King Douche
    November 21, 2019 at 12:32 pm

    I wonder how many times he jerked himself off just thinking about being run over by the turtle.

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