Manchester Information: At approximately 1:45 a.m. on July 8, 2019, police responded to the area of 290 Dubuque Street for an accident. Upon arrival, officers found a car stopped up against a shed with the engine still running and the transmission still in the drive position. Two people were still inside, a passed-out woman slouched over the steering wheel, and a teenager lying flat across the back seat.
Officers were initially unable to wake them by knocking on the windows, with the pair eventually waking up after the officers put the car in park. Neither of the car’s occupants were injured. The driver was identified as Dawn Parker, 42, of Manchester. Park was slurring her speech and having trouble keeping her eyes open. After consenting to a roadside sobriety test, Parker was arrested. Parker is charged with alleged driving under the influence of drugs or liquor and endangering the welfare of a child.
Well it finally happened. Someone got sauced up, passed out behind the wheel with their teenage crotch fruit passed out in the backseat, and crashed into my she-shed. And she looks exactly as I imagined she’d look.
If abstinence only education had a face.
Pro tip – if your mother ever gets publicly shamed for being a world class slopqueef on a page like Manchester Information, do not attempt to defend her honor in the comments. Just deactivate your Facebook for a couple days and wait for the news cycle to pass. The teenage girl in the backseat did not want to hear this advice.
And the family structure is starting to make a lot of sense at this point.
Yea, it wasn’t drugs that caused her to blackout and smash into a shed, it was booze! Get it right!
Then big sister Mackayla showed up to defend her mother’s honor, and offered to meet up with anyone who didn’t approve of her actions.
She looked exactly as you imagined an adult raised by a methopotamus would.
And this Hampton Beach 7 was sending threats to everyone who commented about her whiskey dick inducing matriarch.
She wanted to make it clear that despite the fact that she’s had kids stolen by the DCF fairy, and she occasionally passes out behind the wheel and crashes into shit, she’s actually a really good mother who “wasn’t even drunk.”
If you think blacking out and crashing into sheds is bad, wait till you see her on New Years.
Mackayla must’ve graduated from the Bret Killoran school of grammar because her favorite word is…..
Extended family attempted to get Mackayla and Madison to shut their pieholes and get off the Internet, but she wasn’t trying to hear that either.
Meanwhile the feelz patrol was out in full force making sure Madison and Mackayla didn’t get their feelings hurt.
Yea, in case you didn’t notice her children are beyond the point of no fucks given, and are 200 cartons of Newports away from following in Mom’s foot steps. It’s really a matter of if, not when, Mackayla and Madison make their debuts as well.
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