Many people are consumed with commie cold updates, but a woman in Cumberland, RI was confronted with a much more dangerous threat yesterday.
Holy blue balls! Thank God the police in Cumberland track 911 calls to find out the exact geo-location of the people hiding in their cars behind the sand dunes with crotch fruits in tow. I for one can totally relate to taking a wrong turn and getting chased by a man with a machete and truck covered in confederate flags, who then decided to chase her on foot and was unable to find her vehicle due to the fact that it was hidden by said sand dunes. Shame on the CPD for not arresting this ninja hick, and thots and shares go out to the victim.
Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: