Daddy Douchebag Uses Crotch Fruit As Sympathy Bait To Scam Woman At Rockland Yard Sale, Pretends Son Only Has $80 For Wii Then Resells It For $320 On Facebook


This is Ryan Goff, AKA Michael Goff from Weymouth.

As you can see he’s a “look at my fish” guy, which by now has become the rural equivalent of the flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat.

Ryan is always in the market to buy shit online.

He goes to a lot of yard sales to get shit, which he then resells.


Which is fine, because this is America and there’s nothing wrong with selling something for more than you bought it and making a quick buck. Except over the weekend he went to a yard sale in Rockland, used his crotch fruit as sympathy bait, got the kid to lie to the woman hosting the yard sale in order for her to knock the price down, and then went on to sell it himself online for four times what he paid for it.


Again, I have nothing against flipping purchased yard sale crap online. But the shitty part here is teaching your crotch fruit to lie and be in on your scam. Without the kid she never would’ve lowered it to that price, and he knew it. He still could’ve made $200 profit by paying the $120 she wanted for it, but he had to be greedy and go for $240.

When asked about it Michael/Ryan insisted his kid was not with him.

Which is weird because here he is at the yard sale, talking them down with his semen demon by his side.

Imagine this is what you do with your kid on the weekends? How much of a loser do you have to be to call this your life? I mean, it’s cool to make a buck when you can, but this guy plots out yard sales all over the south shore and does this, presumably to avoid getting a real job. If you can make it work by doing it honestly that’s one thing, but teaching your kid to lie is cheating and you deserve to be dragged for that.


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39 Comment(s)
  • srochon42888
    July 7, 2021 at 10:39 am

    I know this guy personally. He is a heroin/crack addict. He use to do these petty scams in Worcester this was about 7-8 years ago. He didn’t have any children then. He is a run of the mill sociopath, pathological liar and a scam artist. I can see he hasn’t changed.

  • j rock
    July 30, 2020 at 12:56 am

    i am seething with fury because of this ugly dirt bag.

  • Captain Quint
    July 29, 2020 at 3:31 pm

    Fuck this guy! What’s a wii? You mean a piss?
    That Striper is legal these days?
    I’d take it for chum and head to Maine.
    It appears there’s work to be done for anyone who wants it.
    Ah, you all suck anyway!

  • Nadia Yenraek
    Nadia Yenraek
    July 29, 2020 at 2:16 pm

    What a bunch of whiners. If you don’t wanna sell if for $75, then DON’T SELL IT FOR $75.

    Taking advantage of women and children? Sorry, that’s taking advantage of stupid people.

  • Durgler
    July 28, 2020 at 8:33 pm

    This shithead did the same thing a few years back to me with a Wii. Brought his kid, showed up early, gave him a deal. Was getting it for his kid allegedly because his I broke. Saw him the next day at the Grafton flea market selling it for 4x what he told me he could pay. I said “wasnt for the kid after all was it?”. Said he had no idea what I was talking about. What a miserable existance.

  • Coloredblacknegroafricanamericanpersonofcolor
    July 27, 2020 at 10:42 pm

    I’m getting more and more impressed by Weymouth. I think it may be the new Brockton. If anyone has a house to sell I’d be interested.

  • Guinea Geisha
    July 27, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    This guy caught crabs from the cheapest whore he could find… but he was expecting lobster.

    • george costanza
      The angry taint
      July 28, 2020 at 11:25 am

      I am smitten by your silver tongue.

      • Guinea Geisha
        July 28, 2020 at 6:16 pm

        • Guinea Geisha
          July 28, 2020 at 6:18 pm


  • Judge dread
    July 27, 2020 at 7:48 pm

    This man should be taken to the center of town and put in the stocks for one weekend. Fed only water.

    As usual the rotten vegetables to throw at him are available free of charge.

    • Michael Scott
      July 27, 2020 at 8:06 pm

      Or a pee filled balloon!

  • Tom Peterson
    July 27, 2020 at 7:13 pm

    The new switch is cheaper then this half a Wii U

    • Nintendo
      July 27, 2020 at 7:35 pm

      The switch has been sold out everywhere since mid March. The console, not the shitty handheld version.

  • The Common Man
    July 27, 2020 at 7:12 pm

    What an absolute piece of shit!

  • Snowflake kicker
    July 27, 2020 at 4:55 pm

    No wonder the kids are so
    Fucked up today. They have stupid, snowflake parents that teach them to lie and steal and their teachers teach them to hate America and that heaven help
    Them if they are white, because then they are as bad as Hitler because they are white.

  • Oliver Sutton
    July 27, 2020 at 4:11 pm

    He should definitely keep teaching the 10-year-old to keep lying. But he shouldn’t wonder why the kid is junked out on meth/heroin by the time he’s 18.
    Good job Jag Goff.

  • ChrisInShrewsbury
    July 27, 2020 at 4:09 pm

    Casual Observations:

    1) When I saw his picture, I thought this was going to be about a guy who fucks goats in New Hampshire.
    2) Wii is still a thing? WTF.
    3) This fucker could have easily made up a reason why his kid was selling it, but instead he lies about an objective fact.
    4) Go see a dentist man, teeth aren’t supposed to be that color.

    • North of the Border
      July 27, 2020 at 9:12 pm

      Get it right, dude. It’s sheep, not goats.

      Remember, “BAAAAAAA!” means NO!

  • The Spic Tormentor
    Spic Tormentor
    July 27, 2020 at 4:02 pm

    10/10 times dudes who walk around decked out in all red sox gear are giant faggots with personalities like carrots

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    July 27, 2020 at 3:54 pm

    Please people, get out there and support Drag Queen Story Hour! Our beautiful queens capture the gender fluidity of childhood and give kids positive queer role models. Let your children and grandchildren present as they wish!

  • Fat Girl Titties
    July 27, 2020 at 3:47 pm

    Why doesn’t he use the money to get some Crest Whitening Strips? Those are some buttery-ass teeth. Also WII is gay.

  • Orion
    July 27, 2020 at 3:46 pm

    This is why I stopped trading many years ago. I was always losing my ass to lowballers and never seemed to get respectful, honest offers on anything. This scumbucket seems to be living the small town dream of cheating and lying, hopefully it all blows up in his face.

  • The Spic Tormentor
    Spic Tormentor
    July 27, 2020 at 3:24 pm

    Kid probably thought he was going to go home and play some wii but his dad told him to keep his bastard mouth shut because he’s selling it and going to Bass Pro shop.

  • Matty the inbred PUG
    July 27, 2020 at 3:18 pm

    Daddy of the fucking year has to make that quick flip to buy more whores and cocaine.

    Fuck your fist,

  • Luigi
    July 27, 2020 at 2:57 pm

    *read this in nerd voice *. A Wii U without that big ass tablet controller that it comes with is fucking useless, no way anyone buys it for 300 bucks unless they’re a moron, it’s not even the current generation Nintendo system. I bet Mario fucks princess peach without a rubber too!

    • Good One
      July 27, 2020 at 3:45 pm

      Congrats you could possibly be the gayest mother fucker on the planet.

  • Chris Tranos
    July 27, 2020 at 2:54 pm

    Ryan/Michael Goff sucks the shit out of dead seagulls

  • Mary jo kopechne
    July 27, 2020 at 2:29 pm

    When are people going to fucking learn,most people suck shit and are always out to get over on and island ,be a rock,but stop being overly nice to the new world of pure scum,fuck the left,screw the right all shitbirds with an agenda

  • Izzy A. Rubenstein
    July 27, 2020 at 2:19 pm

    People need to be far less gullible when it comes to dirt bag types begging for a handout or a sob story to get a break on something for sale. These dirt bags prey on the gullible and naive like cheetahs on old and wounded antelopes.

    Also, the baseball hat/sunglasses propped up on the lid look is extremely douche-y.

  • Norm
    July 27, 2020 at 2:17 pm

    Jerk Goff

  • Paul Mcelhinney from Woburn
    July 27, 2020 at 2:00 pm

    I would beat the piss out of that dad and his punk kid, just like I do to my own.

  • The Spic Tormentor
    Spic Tormentor
    July 27, 2020 at 1:33 pm

    Gamestop value: $6.25

  • Fred Sanford's Sweaty Scrotum
    July 27, 2020 at 1:24 pm

    Wannabe American Picker/Pawn Star…

  • Betty Ford
    July 27, 2020 at 1:22 pm

    Well hey, isnt this the American Way now? Let’s manipulate the common decency ethic of the Christian nation so “I’s can gets mine”. Whether its manipulating yard sales or BLM, its the same shit.

  • North of the Border
    July 27, 2020 at 1:21 pm

    Since when is a Wii worth $300?

  • John Wayne Gacy
    July 27, 2020 at 1:21 pm

    I’ll happily take this child off his hands for free and return his corpse later…

    • Chrissy Teigen
      July 27, 2020 at 1:31 pm

      I had first dibs. Sorry, not sorry

  • hartf811
    Filthy Animals
    July 27, 2020 at 1:20 pm

    Wishing him a fulfilling life with a chronically addicted junkie son in the future.Thanks Dad

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