Mainstream Media Fails

Daily Beast Gastropotamus Insists The Patriots Are The Official Team Of White Nationalism, It’s A Shame These People Keep Losing Their Jobs

The Patriots are the Super Bowl champs. Again. And according to The Daily Beast’s Corbin Smith we are officially the team of white nationalism.

I for one celebrated by burning a cross on my front lawn and reciting a pledge to Hitler.

I actually read this article, and it’s by far the most insane thing that has ever been published, ever. Normally I’d just ignore it, but with all the layoffs at Buzzfeed and HuffPost last week I can’t help but rejoice in the fact that hacks like this are losing their livelihoods because people are finally waking up to just how terrible the media is. This is what we’re dealing with:

The Daily Beast, a publication with millions of followers, looked at this gastropotamus and said, “We would like to pay you actual money to publish content on our platform. We are very interested in your opinion of the New England Patriots.”

Let’s check out some of the highlights.

This past weekend, the Super Bowl-bound New England Patriots held a rally for their sweatiest fans at Gillette Stadium. Brady gave a speech. It ended… unnervingly. Imagine you didn’t know anything about football, or who Tom Brady was, or anything like that. You would think that you were watching some square-jawed grifter throwing red meat to the hogs at an alt-right rally, screaming at the libs who thought Nancy Pelosi and her gender warriors were gonna keep DECENT AMERICAN FOLKS from BEING HERE.

Wait….what? “We’re still here” is now racist too? Evidently if you don’t know anything about football then you’d hear Tom Brady say the 2018 Patriots slogan, which is in reference to their unprecedented longevity as the best team in the NFL, and you’d assume he was referring to alt-right Trump supporters trying to prevent Mexicans and Nancy Pelosi from coming here. Makes sense.

Of course, even if you do know stuff about Brady you may still think he’s on his way to pursuing this line of grifting. He flashed a red MAGA hat, an accoutrement that is gaining more and more traction as a symbol of white nationalism in America, in his locker back in the primary days.

“Gaining more traction.” Translation – some nutjobs have arbitrarily decided a hat supporting the President is the same thing as a Klan hood, therefore this is ridiculous nonsense is legitimate.

The whole institution of Boston sports, from root to stem, is tinged with the sort of racism that brought Trump into office. The Boston Red Sox were the last MLB team to desegregate, more than a decade after Jackie Robinson entered the league. The Sox’s first owner, Tom Yawkey, was an infamous racist whose speech was peppered with racial slurs.

Oh no, the Red Sox were the last team to integrate, so the whole city must be racist. Let’s just completely ignore that the Bruins were the FIRST NHL team to integrate though. Doesn’t fit the narrative.

It got better….

Larry Bird became a symbol of white resentment during his time in the NBA, his jersey appearing as a symbol of white entitlement to black spaces in Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing. His large teammate, Kevin McHale, was spotted at a Trump rally during the election.

Larry Bird = white entitlement to black spaces. Sorry Larry, you might be one of the best players in NBA history, but you should’ve respected the fact that the NBA is not for your kind. Listen to slobberino next time.

A Red Sox fan yelled a racial slur and threw a bag of peanuts at Adam Jones a mere two seasons ago. Yankees’ pitcher CC Sabathia told ESPN, “I’ve never been called the N-word” anywhere but in Boston.

If you repeat a lie enough times (that Adam Jones was called the n word at Fenway) then it becomes the truth.

Remember that scumbag teen, bused into DC by his racist-ass private school to protest a woman’s right to choose, smirking at a Native American military veteran while wearing that dumb little red hat as his schoolmates stood around and did tomahawk chops? Remember how, at first, everyone saw what was happening for what it was, entitled little shits being racist and disrespectful, until this kid’s wealthy parents hired a PR firm to run interference and coach him up to do an interview where, even if he was saying the right things on paper, he still seemed like a low-boil sociopath?

Wait….we’re still pretending that Nathan Phillips was a military veteran? Allow me to correct this paragraph.

Remember that child, bused into DC by his catholic school to protest something that violates catholic teaching, smirking at a Native American adult fraud banging a drum in his face for no reason while wearing that hat supporting the lawfully elected President as his sang and danced to the music being played directly in front of them? Remember how, at first, everyone saw what the fake news media wanted them to see, a bunch of racist kids disrespecting a brown guy, until people saw the whole tape and it turned out it was all a lie?

If Brady really does want to satisfy the Daniel Radcliffes of the world, wouldn’t he find it in his heart to distance himself from the president everyone hates?

“Everyone hates.” Trump got over 60 million votes. The sad part is gastropotamus actually thinks this is a true statement, because he has surrounded himself with an echo chamber that is completely oblivious to the fact that there are people out there who view the world differently from them.

Look, it doesn’t matter if the Patriots like it or not, they are the official team of American White Nationalism, the MAGA Boys On the Field. You can’t implicitly or explicitly support Trump, who reads speeches written by Stephen Miller as a matter of course, play in a market whose sporting culture is renowned for its racism, have a decade-plus organizational obsession with undersized white receivers, and be called, no shit, the Patriots, without getting the vile Fox News Soup that poisoned half the country on your shirt. 

Now we’re racist because the Super Bowl MVP is small and white. How dare a 7th round draft pick who played quarterback in college defy the odds and become one of the best receivers in the NFL for nearly a decade! You’re only allowed to be good if you’re tall and black.

When you root for the Patriots, you are associating yourself with a virulent and revolting strain of politics that seeks to Make America Great Again—which is to say, white, European, English-speaking.

Except two thirds of the Patriots roster is black, including almost every player on defense that made the Rams the second team in Super Bowl history to not score a touchdown during the game.

And look, I understand if you’ve been rooting for Boston teams your whole life. Fandom is a hard drug to quit. But please, look at yourself, look at who these guys put out for, and reconsider.

Real sports fans don’t give a shit about politics. The whole point of sports is to have a distraction from politics. As usual, the left wing media is trying to ruin the one thing that unites as all because they don’t believe in having fun of any kind. Then again, this gastropotamus hardly looks like he gives a shit about sportball of any kind.

And to prove what a gutless coward he is, he pulled a Kevin Cullen made his Twitter profile private immediately after he started getting back shit from both the left and the right, because he is a terrible, terrible person.

Meanwhile, there’s another sports writer from his area (Seattle) who covers the NFL and has the same exact name as him. Poor guy is getting bombarded.

Leave poor Corbin alone while he serenades us with hot takes bout who the Seahawks should draft in the third round!

My favorite part is when he eventually gets laid off and the blue checkmarks whine about how corporate owned media is cutting corners and laying off talented journalists. What will the world do without brilliant hot takes like this? I don’t want to live in a world where some cholesterol couch critter isn’t around to lecture me about why I’m a white nationalist for being an unapologetic Patriots fan.

God loves us more.


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24 Comment(s)
  • Jack
    February 10, 2019 at 8:45 pm

    Just need to correct you, Brady was drafted in the 6th round. Not 7th .

  • Nickelback on Continuous Replay
    February 7, 2019 at 10:28 am

    This mo-fugga needs a hair cut. Maybe Ian Vorce can have his little boy give him the hedgehog. I think Ian would be a perfect butt buddy for this dute-due-du.

  • Peter Niss
    P. Niss
    February 4, 2019 at 10:10 pm

    Fuck that. We’re the team of vladimir putin. He likes the patriots so much he stole a super bowl ring from robert kraft. He either only has 5 or had another one made.

    February 4, 2019 at 8:34 pm

    Does anyone have the TV email address? I cant find it and dont have social media. Have something that they would be interested in. Thanks all

    • JJ@AOL.COM
      February 4, 2019 at 8:35 pm

      TB email address my fault..

  • DJ
    February 4, 2019 at 7:58 pm

    Poor fat, ugly white boy who could not get laid in a whore house with a fist full of 50’s. He probably jerks off to Brady, Edleman and Gronk while laying on his twin bed in his mommy’s basement…

  • Randall Hig Eater Guy
    February 4, 2019 at 6:44 pm

    Corbin loves the cock

  • Anthony Grossi
    February 4, 2019 at 4:38 pm

    The Bruins were the first NHL team to have a black player. The Celtics were the first NBA team to have a black player. Reggie Smith and George Scott, two black players with the Red Sox in the 60s and 70s, said they never heard Yawkey use racial language of any kind, and that he treated black players on the Red Sox with great respect. Stay in your mom’s basement, Corbin.

  • Art R.
    February 4, 2019 at 1:56 pm

    That first picture of him was shocking, really brought back some bad memories. His face looks like my first wife’s fat ass! Seeing that really disturbed me.

  • Frank
    February 4, 2019 at 1:16 pm

    I miss the days when the nerds kept their thoughts to themselves. I love how they pretend that everyone agrees with them 

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    February 4, 2019 at 1:10 pm

    In what world is a douchebag like him relevant?

  • kirkmin
    February 4, 2019 at 1:08 pm

    Erin Andrews unequivocally deserves to be fist raped.

  • citypoint
    February 4, 2019 at 12:52 pm

    Edelman is Jewish. That makes this beta Nancy boy an anti Semite as well.

  • Corbin Smith’s Gerbil
    February 4, 2019 at 12:45 pm

    Wait a minute, there, gamma phag !! YOU’RE calling other people “sweaty” ?? Really ?? You doughy little fuck, I wish you were here, I’d have my three year old daughter bitch slap you around the playground. You fucking weakling, how much more must your forefathers suffer the eternal embarrassment that is you ?

  • warpedhead
    February 4, 2019 at 11:57 am

    It’s funny how these WHITE kunts know all about racism ….

  • Ray Patriarca
    Ray Patriarca
    February 4, 2019 at 10:51 am

    This asswipe wouldn’t know real racism if it jumped up and bit him on his micro-dick !
    This fanook is just another poor little coddled snowflake who should have gotten rapped upside the head a few times by his parents. But instead, they coddled his pale, pasty-white fat ass.
    I’m glad liberal dickheads like this are entirely miserable right now.
    It surely makes my heart glow with happiness. MAGA !

  • The angry taint
    The angry taint
    February 4, 2019 at 10:42 am

    Typical leftie cuck boy,nice Gloria Vanderbilt glasses loser. Whatever it is ,it knows nothing about sports that is clear. However it is hard to follow a football game when the eye holes in the sheets are cut in the wrong spots

  • Let Him Learn To Code
    February 4, 2019 at 10:34 am

    The left destroys everything they touch. I do however wish they has girls in the Boy Scouts way back when; then I could have lost my virginity when I was 10 instead of 13.

  • Corbin Smith ❤️ Maroon 5
    February 4, 2019 at 10:27 am

    Corbin Smith is a life long Maroon 5 fan and is rumored to be involved with Adam Levine according to The Daily Beast. Smith on a Daily Beast interview last week “ I’m so happy for Adam playing the halftime show, his band is really hardcore rock and Adam identifies as a woke, gay black man, that’s all I need.”

  • Sulfer Powder
    February 4, 2019 at 10:24 am

    These people write this shit for the clicks and to shake the cage. It’s the only talent they have. Look at the guy. He hasn’t been outside for any length of time in a while. So all his opinions ate based off of blips he reads online. Then he combines it all and writes inflammatory shit. It’s a great world when you can get paid for writing shit …..

  • Paul "Wrecking" Crewe
    February 4, 2019 at 10:14 am

    What a royal a-hole! NFL players are about 3/4 Black including the roster of the Patriots.

  • General Burkhalter
    February 4, 2019 at 10:07 am

    Very definition of Acute Trump Derangement Syndrome.
    The soy has shrunk his balls and left him / her as the poster boy / girl for generation BETA

  • Robert Hoover
    February 4, 2019 at 10:06 am

    I’m going to assume Corbin Smith is a tranny, but I’m not quite sure MtF or FtM. I’m going to have to know its preferred pronouns first.

  • z
    February 4, 2019 at 9:58 am

    Your mentioning of Radcliffe
    Did a google search and found this comment on some comics books web site
    that was writing about Radcliffes anti-Pats rant:

    Um, drop the football and politics questions, the bigger question is was this an overly emotional interview that hit something deep, or is cocaine really good. Homeboy looks like my friend Darren after banging lines for 2 hours and nervously laughing while telling everyone “I have some mescaline in my sock drawer, should I bust it out”. No Darren you shouldn’t, we came over to play counter strike not have emotional breakdowns while tripping balls. Wipe your eyes, the pizza guy is gonna be here soon, and you look like a mess.

    That being said, what does Daniel have against manga? Not my cup of tea, but I like the bright colors.

    Maybe it’s just me, but that poster would fit in just fine here.

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