Darrelle Revis > Aqib Talib: New England Patriots Pants Tent In Full Effect, Now Give Me Steve Smith

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Revis Island and it feels so good. Attention Patriots fans: seek medical treatment if IT lasts longer than four hours.

Just when I was beginning to think that Belichick and Kraft were gonna cheap out again, they go out and get the best player in the game at his position, in what is probably the most important position in football after quarterback. So now the Patriots have easily the best quarterback and cornerback in football. The rest of the AFC East has sent us an olive branch. We do not accept. Prepare to be facialized.


So when the Patriots missed out on Aqib Talib it was obviously a real kick in the nads. I honestly thought for a minute there that the Patriots were just gonna let him go and replace him with three nudniks from Rutgers, and say they got “value” out of it. Look, at this position, you simply HAVE to spend lots of money, unless you get off on watching Kyle Arrington getting burnt on a weekly basis. Or you can just go the rout of the Seahawks and inject the best steroids ever made into a bunch of sixth round draft picks.

Did the Broncos overpay for Talib? That’s what everyone’s saying. I really don’t care how much the Patriots spend on playesr. Doesn’t cost me anything extra. I have no idea how the cap works and I don’t really want to either because it’s extremely boring. All I want is to see All-Stars on the field at all times. That’s it. Talib was an All-Star, and now he’s on the Broncos. Life sucked.

For about 24 hours.

I’d be the biggest liar if I said I didn’t have a giant TurtleBoy sized man crush on Talib. He was awesome on the Patriots. But that’s the thing with Talib, he’s the defensive Gronk. You simply couldn’t count on him for long term plans. He was on the Patriots for two AFC Championship games. He tapped out of both, and we fell apart as soon as he did. So what good was he? Pats could’ve made the AFC Championship without him, but they couldn’t have beaten Denver with him on the sidelines.


Now Talib is apparently saying that the Patriots lied on the injury report about his injury. The Pats said it was a hip injury, he said it was just bruising. So basically Talib is saying that you might as well tattoo “Naniburger” on his back, because he tapped out of the most important games of his career, and nothing was really wrong with him. Look Aqib, you got your money bro. The Broncos were dumb enough to give it to you despite the fact that there’s a good chance you’ll tap out again in the most important game possible. Oh yea, and a 5’9″ 175 pound white guy took you out too. Not a good look bro.

Even though I loved Talib, now that he’s gone I can officially say it: I was 100% on Steve Smith’s side when we played Carolina this year. Talib tapped out of that game and we lost. He never had a surgery though, and didn’t break anything. He just plain wussed out. Old man Steve tossed him around like a rag doll while he was in there, and famously afterwards said,

“He started the game, and I finished it. Ice up son!!”

Top five sports quotes of all time. Easily. It had to have been humiliating for Talib. The Panthers won the game, and he got called out for being a pansy by a player whose best years passed a few years ago. I loved it when it happened because it simply HAD to have forced Talib to come back from injury faster. You can’t have Steve Smith running around telling you to ice up. It’s embarrassing. Get your ass back on the field.


They simply HAD to respond to the Talib signing, and did they ever. Remember the highlights that Talib showed us a few times? We get to see that every, single week now with Darrelle Revis. Guy came off of ACL surgery and just had a dominant year in Tampa Bay. No one threw to him. He literally takes away half the field. Do you understand how valuable that’s gonna be? Demaryius Thomas no longer will exist when we play Denver. Eric Decker’s gone too. And let’s face it – the Broncos are the only team that matters in the AFC.

Their work isn’t done. They need a pass rusher and a receiver. The NFL is strictly a passing league now, which makes guys like Vince Wilfork useless. I love Vince and all, but see ya later bud. Get Jared Allen in here on a one year deal for big money. And for receiver the option is pretty simple – I want Steve Smith. Get me Steve Smith. He’s still got game. He doesn’t tap out. He brings that fire with him. He competes. He’s hungry. He would literally eat your children for lunch. The Patriots need an experienced wide receiver that can still play. He’s that guy. Get it done.

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