Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here.

Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here.

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Forever, and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:

Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all.

All aboard the Cheesehog Express for your GoFundMe scam of the day brought to you by Amanda Behm of Vermont! This whole thing is so Vermont it hurts, y’all aint gonna believe this shit.

So, she equates a child to an almost brand new car and asks “Who can afford an almost new car in one payment?” This is already off to a terrible start, Ample Amanda.

Obliviously, crowdsourcing your attempt at having another child is ridiculous for a number of reasons.  Kids aren’t cheap, are they going to have an ongoing GFM to pay for the little squirt when it shows up in her sloppy squish mitten? Perhaps maybe get married to your boy toy Bryant Cloud Johnson before conceiving your next welfare recipient might make you look like a better person? People seemed to be super pissed about it on the Facebook page, though. I wonder why?

Good for you, Anthony.

OH. Apparently this  7 year mother of the year nominee has two other children who were taken away by the state. As any true ratchet knows, once they take one away you’re to replace that one with another. Maybe fight to get the first two back? But as you can see “They permanently took her rights away.” So she has no choice but to give up on ever getting them back so she has to start all over again like it’s a game of ratchet Chutes and Ladders.

Amanda’s reasoning is flawless:

DCF is always sticking their noses all up in my shit for no reason! -Said no competent parent ever. You have to  fuck up horrendously for DCF to take your kids away. DCF never wants to separate a family, it’s literally the last thing they want to do. So no Amanda, you didn’t get your kids taken away for not being able to read or spell, or because you’re on SSDI or because you shoplifted. That didn’t happen. Also, if you think the state won’t step in and take the future kids you have, you’re not playing with a full deck.

Gah!

Right…

Abbii was one of a few dimwitted individuals to come to her defense. Alorah, a foster parent tried to talk some sense into her, but to no avail…

Yeah, that I doubt that was the case either Abbii, but nice try. I was a teen mom and have known plenty of fine teen moms throughout my life. The only time I ever saw kids get taken away was if one of them ran towards drugs instead of running towards their children or for being so irresponsible that there was literally no helping you. So why did Amanda’s kids get taken away? It’s not clear, although someone who appears to know Amanda did have this to say:

Oh my word…This was the second time in that particular thread that Colby mentioned that Amanda kept her children in dog kennels all day, put booze in their bottles and threatened them with murder if their father didn’t get home soon. There’s not a lot to back that up, though so we’re forced to come to our own conclusions. But, I mean…..come on now….

It’s not enough that taxpayers already pay you and raised your children once they were taken away, now you want people to untie your tubes so we can pay for another baby, too? Just. No.

Sweet Crocs though.

Amanda’s fiance doesn’t seem to have a whole lot going on aside from posting terrible art as well:

I’ll spare you guys the rest, but it’s all there is you really hate yourself. Please note how he’s really not at all linked to her on Facebook, but she posts how amazing he is on his pictures…seems like bro might be ashamed of something. Can’t figure out why.

Amanda constantly shares every animal video or food and weed meme everyone has ever seen, but every so often she should take her own advice.

Sweet Crocs, again!

Also, new rule: If you’re a DCF mom, you don’t get to share “Bad Parenting” videos. Or any parenting memes. You should probably never mention parenting ever again.

She obviously cares about her two children seeing as how she’ll post on their birthday each year sometimes.

Not even saying happy birthday, just that he aged another year without her in his life. Meanwhile she’s posting about “Good times” at bars every weekend.

One finger for each kid DCF kidnapped from her.

She posts non-stop about her cats, dog and ferrets which obviously we would rather see have have than her children back or another on the way. Last time I checked, ferrets were pretty expensive, plus all those vet bills (because I’m sure she properly cares for them when she can’t care for two human beings she brought into this world), pet food and litter adds up. Here’s what we’re working with.

I’m having a pretty good time going through the updates on her GoFundMe. Some might see these as pretty brutal, but those are the people who don’t know what this fupasloth has done.

“all 0 of you”…

SAVAGE!

I was going to point this out and maybe make a joke about it, but nothing I had was as funny as it is all on it’s own……

And I thought Greg Bates couldn’t spell! I’d venture a guess that she had her kids taken away because she was eating Tide pods, but this was 7 years ago. Back then kids were still giving themselves burns with ice cubes and salt.

To summarize this crazy shit:

• Abuses two children.
• Has two children taken away.
• Thankfully has tubes tied.
• Decides she might as well give up on her first two and try to have another with this guy:
• 
• Internet pandandles for the cash to have her tubes un-“tide”.
• All this backfires in epic glory.
• Amanda shockingly doubles down.

Maybe this is her plan for keeping custody of her next batch of fuck trophies?

Somehow this has gotten 1.7 thousand shares on Facebook. If any of you guys see it fly by in your newsfeed, certainly don’t share this blog under it so no one is conned out of their hard earned money. That would be really, really mean. Almost as mean as abusing your children and then giving up on them. Almost.

Manchesterturtlette@gmail.com or on Twitter (which I keep forgetting I have) @MTurtlette