Dear Four Star Recruit Melvin Swift, Here’s Why You Should Come To UMass Instead of UConn

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The era of Chaz Williams, Raphiael Putney, and Sampson Carter is over at UMass. The question is, what comes next?

Well UMass has met it’s allotted scholarship quota, but if a better prospect came along it would be easy to cut ties with some dead weight like T-Berg. With offers accepted from Rashaan Holloway and C.J. Anderson already, it’d be nice to see Kellogg get another big name player, because I wouldn’t get very excited about either of these players.

We stole Holloway away from the mighty Philadelphia powerhouses of Drexel and Temple. His other offers were from such legendary programs as Marshall and Rider. Oh yea, and he’s from South Jersey, AKA Philly.


Now on paper I like the Holloway recruit. He’s 6’9″, 250 lbs. God knows UMass needs a true center after we were emasculated by Mr. Stokes and company in the tournament. I want to be optimistic, I really do. So on the positive side he’s not Raphiael Putney. He’s actually the opposite. Scouting reports say that he’s got great hands and footwork, and that his body can easily be filled in with some time in the weight room.

But the more I read about this kid, the less optimistic I get. He’s only a three star prospect, and isn’t a top 150 recruit. Now, if he was some kind of scholar, I would be a little more glass half full. But here’s some of his tweets from the past week or two. For starters, he’s one of those guys who posts WAY too much on Twitter. I never trust those guys:

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Wonder what kind of shampoo he uses. Also….

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Luckily it never snows in Western MA. Luckily he’ll be attending a college in a state that’s pretty liberal about Mary Jane….
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Also, after reading the next tweet, I hope his high school is more challenging than UMass will be…

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Here’s some more random thoughts from Rashaan…

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Don’t worry Rashaan, I know a massage parlor in town where you can get a nice (toe) rub. Then there’s this mysterious St. Patty’s Day tweet:

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Actually this is a pretty good sign. If there’s one type of player I don’t trust, it’s someone without a shitload of tattoos. Here’s what he had to say after signing with UMass:

“I look forward to becoming a Minuteman and playing and becoming a mentor under the direction of Coach Kellogg.”

Hope Kellogg is cool with the fact that he’s going to be mentored by a 19 year old. With the way he coached in the second half of the season this might actually be a good thing.

C.J. Anderson is a 6’5″ shooting guard. He’s not as highly ranked as Holloway, but he seems to have a lot of athletic promise, along with a pretty bad ass flat top:

152238_t607 Here’s what a scout had to say:

“I project Anderson as the classic swingman collegiately, a guard/forward who can defend multiple positions. I think he will be All-Atlantic 10 by the time he’s a junior. He’ll be too long for typical, smaller 2-guards and too quick for small forwards. Kellogg and UMass got a S-T-E-A-L when they inked C.J. Anderson.”

Unfortunately I can’t find this kid’s twitter, so I have no idea when he took his last shower, what’s on his mouth, how his toes feel, or whether or not he plans on getting another tattoo. But to me he looks like your typical VCU player, and since we won a recruiting battle with Shaka Smart for him, I’m pretty excited to see what this kid has to offer.

The real prize though is Melvin Swift, from just outside of Houston. The 6’7″ forward has athleticism like you read about. Here’s his highlights:

Yea, that’d be nice. He committed last year to Xavier, but then pulled away shortly after. Now this top 100 ranked recruit is being pursued by several schools, but almost all scouts say it’s down to two: UMass and UConn. That’s the difference between a four star recruit and a three star recruit. We’re competing with UConn instead of Drexel and Rider.

Swift would be the ideal addition to the Minutemen for the next four years. He’s a great on the ball defender with above average rebounding skills – both things that UMass needs an abundance of. Losing him to UConn would be a giant kick in the nads. Right now 75% of scouts think he’s coming to UMass. Look, I shit on DK on this blog, but recruiting is clearly the man’s strength. He’s a Calipari guy, and Calipari is the godfather of recruiting. This would be a marquee signing, and I simply cannot let him go to such a dumpy place like UConn.

Luckily my man Melvin likes to tweet. So I tweeted my case to him yesterday on why he should come to UMass – and wouldn’t ya know it, I got a retweet and Mr. Swift is now following TurtleBoy:

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For the record, that is 110% truth. Shabazz Napier is the last remnant of the Jim Calhoun era. As soon as Calhoun’s dirty hands are off the Huskies’ program, UConn goes back to being Rutgers. Well since this kid has a couple thousand followers, including some UConn lackeys, they weren’t going to let that kind of statement go unchallenged:

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Once again, 110% truth. Hasheen Thabeet is not walking through that door, largely because now that UConn is on double secret NCAA probation, they can’t afford to cheat in order to get players like him anymore. Don’t blame me UConn fans, those are CBSSports’ Gary Parrish’s words, not mine:

“The UConn basketball program is still on probation because the school was caught — first by Yahoo! Sports, then by the NCAA — using a booster turned agent to buy a recruit. Say what you want about John Calipari, Scott Drew or any of the other coaches who turned up on our list of perceived cheaters last month, but none of them have ever been caught leading a program that worked with a booster/agent to secure a commitment from a prospect neck-deep in extra benefits. Calhoun, on the other hand, was caught leading a program that did exactly that, and the Huskies remain on probation because of it. So that’s a stain.”

So when these same idiots tweeted pictures like this at me,


they failed to point out that all of those players were probably being paid and all of those championships were bogus. So Melvin, don’t be fooled when they try to pull stuff over on you like this – this was the OLD UConn. You won’t be playing with anyone close to the caliber of anyone on this list.

Even Jake Voshkuhl?

ESPECIALLY Jake Voshkuhl!!!

And Melvin, whatever you do, don’t fall for the whole UConn in the Sweet 16 thing. They are only there because, 1) Villanova was the worst two seed in NCAA history, 2) St. Joe’s absolutely choked the game away in the final minute (yea, and UMass beat St. Joe’s this year too), and, 3) Shabazz Napier is one of the most legendary four year players in NCAA history, and he will never be your teammate.

Here’s some other reasons why Amherst needs to be your destination.

  • UConn wasn’t eligible for the tournament last year because they were academically ineligible. Wont’ be the last time that happens. Just like UMass they forfeited the 1996 season because of NCAA violations, but unlike UMass they have been caught with their hands in the cookie jar several times since then.

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  • The last time UConn came to Amherst, we won. Calhoun was too chicken shit scared to come here since then.
  • Storrs is a terrible town in the middle of nowhere. Amherst is a magical paradise, and home to the Blarney Blowout.
  • UMass has Antonio’s. UConn does not.
  • At UConn you will always be the second most important basketball team on campus – after the women’s team. Emasculating.
  • At UConn the best coach is Geno Auriemma. Unfortunately he would not be your coach. Instead you’d have the unproven, politically connected, and likely lame duck Kevin Ollie.
  • UMass has a variety of babes to offer you. If you’re into Plain Jane and don’t mind burning calories, then there’s a wonderful place called Orchard Hill which has tons of mediocrity to offer. Like pot? Wait until you see the junior smokeshow stoner babes of Central. Like to do your homework in peace and quiet? You’ll love Northeast then. You strike me as the Southwest type though. If you like girls with loose morals and zero inhibitions, then you’ll love Southwest.
  • If you come to UMass you get to be a part of the UMass basketball renaissance. If you go to UConn you are literally jumping on a sinking ship. Our stock is on the rise, while their’s is plummeting like it’s October, 1929.
  • You went to the same high school as freshmen Clyde Santee. Trey Davis is also from Texas. UConn has ZERO players from the lone star state. You’ll have a million more things in common with your UMass teammates than you would at UConn, where half the roster is from Connecticut, and the best player next year is from Ghana.

So the decision is your’s big man. Come to UMass and enjoy the the best for years of your life at the greatest University known to mankind. Or go to UConn, where you might potentially make the NIT a couple times – if your team’s GPA is high enough.

Until then UMass fans can just salivate over your man-child dunks, and picture you wearing Maroon and White.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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12 Comment(s)
  • Conner
    July 18, 2014 at 1:32 am

    CJ Anderson is a really good player. He is very underrated but he can do it all. He’s a natural PG. He can defend 3 positions. He also has a funky shot with a weird release but he makes it. He is a true competitor and will do big things at UMASS

  • Umass sucks
    May 13, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    This is funny because I believe umass doesn’t care about sports, rather they spend millions more in funding for their isenberg program(which isn’t bad just proves sports isn’t a big thing there), so that’s issue number one and everyone knows Marcus camby is one of the most middle of the road players since his start in the nba, some could even say bust. It makes it more sad that you consider him your second best player to play there. Uconn has done more in such a short amount of time than any school these past twenty years. It’s absolutely absurd for an idiot like you to discredit their success for recruiting violations (which were committed on a player who eventually got expelled) especially when umass had a season stripped because of such a large violation, you can thank your boyfriend Marcus camby for that and I don’t see a blemish equivalent to that on uconns record

    • Jack
      June 19, 2014 at 10:20 pm

      You obviously didn’t look very hard at UConn’s record then. They had their postseason wiped out that same year for the very same thing as Camby (see Kirk King). Congrats on your most recent national title. It’s the first one you should feel good about. Ollie seems like a good guy and is a great coach. But Jim Calhoun was a great coach too, but he was as big of a scumbag as there is in college coaching and that’s saying a lot. It cannot be denied.

  • April 16, 2014 at 12:22 am

    This is one of the dumbest things I’ve EVER read. Especially because UCONN JUST WON ANOTHER NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP. And it was not, by any means, a one man show featuring Napier. It was also the rest of UConn’s arsenal of players like DeAndre Daniels, Ryan Boatright, Terrence Samuel, and Amida Brimah…all of whom will be Melvin Swift’s teammates. You are an idiot to make UConn (#57 in US News & World Report Ranking) seem like idiots and last year’s players seem at fault for the postseason ban. Those players had nothing to do with it. The players at fault are LONG gone. The program is on the rise, unlike UMass’s program which is crumbling. Ollie has brought in ESPN 100 and McDonald’s All-American transfer Rodney Purvis, ESPN 100 recruit Daniel Hamilton, and NBA-all star Sam Cassell’s son, Sam Cassell Jr. And this was his FIRST YEAR RECRUITING ON HIS OWN. God this season’s NCAA tournament makes this article seem SO stupid. UConn is a projected top 10 team next year because of KEVIN OLLIE’s recruiting, not Jim Calhoun’s, Kevin Ollie’s. Next year, that 25 UConn players in the NBA will be 26. 3 years from now it will be over 30 players with DeAndre Daniels, Rodney Purvis, Daniel Hamilton, Ryan Boatright, and maybe even Amida Brimah. Hey, it may even be 32 players with Melvin Swift possibly being taken 😉 You are an idiot for thinking that UMass has any case as a better program than UConn. That is shameful, my friend. Enjoy your pity tourney bids and your round of 64 exits, while we will be winning championships.

  • Chris deroehn
    April 7, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    Dam turtle shit you must be real desperate man. Postin shit like this yet uconn is in yet ANOTHER national championship game.when has umass ever been in one?this is the best year they’ve probly ever had and they were a 6 seed getting knocked out by Tennessee!HA umass sucks balls and isn’t even in the conversation with a school like uconn.

  • John
    March 27, 2014 at 10:39 pm

    I have seen the guy with the flat top play. He is outstanding!

  • UMass Blows
    March 26, 2014 at 10:04 pm

    Lol that’s a way better comeback then I was expecting. Although I’m actually from Philly, went to UConn for baseball. But really I was just trying to be a dick.c Well played though, I gotta give it to you.

    • Pee Pee Poo Poo
      March 27, 2014 at 11:59 am

      At least he knows how to use the reply button properly.

  • UMass Blows
    March 26, 2014 at 6:53 pm

    Didnt a 2008 Umass team lose…

    Oh wait. In the last 16 years their one relevant season ended with an embarassing loss to a team who had to play the play in game.

    Cool team.

    • Joey G
      March 26, 2014 at 9:15 pm

      Our basketball team has sucked… our football team has sucked… and our attempts at casino gambling are pathetic. However, we wake up every morning happy to be alive and thrilled to be able to collectively utter the phrase “Thank God we don’t live in Connecticut.”

  • Grayson Holloway Baker IV
    March 26, 2014 at 7:53 am

    Didn’t a team led by Thabeet lose to San Diego in the first round in Tampa in 2008?

    • April 17, 2014 at 2:04 am

      Didn’t a team led by Thabeet also make it to the Final Four in 2009? Idiot.

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