Deep Fried Failed Uber Driver Michael Woodbury Is Threatening Woman With Lawsuit Who Took Picture Of Him In Handicapped Spot, Says His Placard For Being A Fat Ass Is On The Way


Last week I blogged about Michael Woodbury, the deep fried failed Uber driver who likes to park in handicapped spots because he’s allergic to exercise.

We invited Mr. Woodbury onto the Live show last weekend and I think this is his way of saying “no thank you.”

Oh dear.

On top of that he also informed the woman who originally posted the pictures of him being a boob, that he was filing for deformation.

Oh right, tubby tornado is disabled. He’s just waiting for the paperwork to go through. In the meantime he’s free to park his fat ass wherever he so pleases. It wouldn’t surprise me if he actually qualifies for disability, considering we reward people for being laardvarks in this country. But until you get that placard you are officially able bodied.

The lawsuit should go well, considering this woman took a picture of him in public breaking the law, and then posted it on her Facebook page. Everyone knows you can’t take pictures of people in public. She didn’t even contact us either. Someone saw it on her page and sent us the screenshot. Now she obviously has, since she realized her picture made it onto Turtleboy.

To be clear, this woman didn’t swear at him. She called him a douchebag, which is a lot nicer than I would’ve been.



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31 Comment(s)
  • Tim
    April 10, 2019 at 7:30 am

    I wash myself with a rag on a stick.

  • Lawya Brotha
    April 10, 2019 at 7:10 am

    dis here is deformation ya’ll making deforming words on da internet box. My Brotha get outtA BREATH crimbing in dat dere truck. He park too far he not gonna make it in da truck. dis is a out rage an ronger dan when he was getting the special goodnight kisses from our sister Diabetty. I had her first we bore childen together. Just go back ta giving it to Ma you basterd.

    Nows we gonna sue you fer the deformation tingy and make enough money to get Diabetty a scoota.

  • Wwy
    April 10, 2019 at 1:03 am

    What whore would photo this to tell on him,the pussification/jewification of the gay state. Sad.

  • Michael Johnson
    true justice
    April 10, 2019 at 12:04 am

    Your a douchbag, you fat bastard. I’d be ashamed to admit I was waiting for a placard in the mail. It’s reserved for the elderly and people who have a legitimate handicap. Take your lawsuit and shove it up your dogs ass.

    • Let me up, I've had enough
      April 10, 2019 at 2:29 pm

      Where is “Finn” when you need him??

      If anybody ever needed to be told to “get fucked”, it’s this dick, “Wwy”.

      Finn, brother…where you been??

  • Siskel
    April 9, 2019 at 10:40 pm

    He is waiting for his card… Only he didn’t mention what card he was waiting on…Im betting its his official “Morons of America” card. He is gonna carry it next to his Diners Club card and his Subway card…

  • Igiveup
    April 9, 2019 at 9:12 pm

    My 88 year old aunt refuses to get a placard even though I do the driving. And have to drive around forever because she can’t walk!

  • Wade Boggs Taint
    April 9, 2019 at 9:02 pm

    That’s a 22 inch fish. Problem is he’s holding it up to his 60 inch waist.

  • johny cockring
    April 9, 2019 at 8:14 pm

    what a fat, lazy, stupid pudwacking loser. Another Uber contractor (fucking imbeciles at best) no doubt a virgin. Who the fuck drives a 2WD peek up truck in New England?cheap asshole you don’t have a lawyer “liar liar pants on fire”

  • Chip Striker
    April 9, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    Just get one of those motorized scooters like all the other fat fucks who drive themselves around in Walmart have.

    Of course they’ve stuffed their pie holes so much for so long its. Ow on us taxpayers to foot the bill.

  • John Blutarsky
    April 9, 2019 at 7:50 pm

    The only thing this fat fuck is pursuing is his next insulin shot. He needed to park close because he has about a whole 2 to 3 seconds of cardio in him. Walking the extra 10 or 20 steps to the store would have put him at maximum heart rate. Lose some weight, you fucking fat slob!

  • Jabba the Hutt
    April 9, 2019 at 7:37 pm

    FYI being a fat fuck doesn’t mean you’re disabled, it just just means you’re a lazy slob dude.

  • Travis Rearick
    April 9, 2019 at 7:35 pm

    I… wanna fuck your dog in the ass. Wanna fuck your dog in the ass, I wanna fuck your dog… in the ass

  • whatevuh
    dean wormer
    April 9, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    Fat, drunk and stupid, is no way to go through life son

    • Kent Dorfman
      April 9, 2019 at 7:53 pm

      Hey, I resemble that remark!

  • Uncle Frank
    April 9, 2019 at 6:29 pm

    It’s about time scorn and ridicule was cast upon these dickheads who gleefully abuse handicap parking. This and that whole emotional support dog bullshit running rampant across the state like the Zika virus both need to be stopped once and for all.

    • Bill Belly's Chick
      April 9, 2019 at 10:54 pm

      You’re spot on, about the “emotional support” dogs. We got folks with a “Service Dog”-collared chihuahua… and a tutu. One of the dumbest things ever seen. Imagine a 300-pounder with that. They walk, they talk, they drive, wtf is the reason for a service dog?

      • Wwy
        April 10, 2019 at 1:07 am

        The pussy ptsd heads need them after killing innocent people you become a dog who needs a dog for a friend. Chesna had a stuffed animal until justice came.

  • Mike
    April 9, 2019 at 6:09 pm

    Threatening lawsuits just makes things so much worse for a person. Just take your licks, keep your mouth shut, do better in the future, and in a short amount of time people will find another set of shiny keys to distract them. Making “demands” is a quick way to keep yourself in the spotlight.

  • george costanza
    diabetes can be fun
    April 9, 2019 at 6:07 pm

    still have a few tickets left for his left foot going away party it should be a hoot….hmu!

  • Big Wick
    April 9, 2019 at 5:43 pm

    He’s “waiting for his placard?” Around here, you get a form filled out from the doctor, take it down to your town hall, and the fill the placard out on the spot.

  • PSA Boy Of The Year
    April 9, 2019 at 5:26 pm

    No shit he’s handicapped; I have to listen to his wife bitch about him, but until after she keeps moaning OH GOD!

  • Bill Dance
    April 9, 2019 at 5:16 pm

    That is a pathetic looking fish…..that makes Jimmy Houston and I very sad

  • TJB
    April 9, 2019 at 5:09 pm

    Looks like Fatty Mc Fatagain will need TWO hp placards…one for each enormous dumbo ass cheek.

  • Diane Woods emerson
    April 9, 2019 at 5:02 pm

    I’m sure attorneys will be tripping over each other to represent him. Lmao.

  • hank
    April 9, 2019 at 4:25 pm

    Can’t tell if I’m hearing Kevin Malone or Cookie monster in my head when I read this.

  • Hartford
    April 9, 2019 at 4:20 pm

    Low self esteem fat boy lashes out as he is awaiting his handicap placard with his therapy fish. Hung up by your underutilizes jockstrap in gym class for having man-boobs, much! Classic.

  • Well, No Shit
    April 9, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    In my opinion, everyone is so fucking sue-happy. What does this fat cunt expect to gain from this frivolous lawsuit? Money for more Big Macs? Good luck with that, Fatty Arbuckle. It sure as Hell can’t be self-respect. It seems as though he lost that years ago.

    Just hurry up with your inevitable cardiac arrest and get it over with, Grimace.

  • Travis Rearick
    April 9, 2019 at 3:49 pm

    no surprise he thinks about fucking domesticated animals *ukulele noises*

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