Sports

Deflate-Gate Whistle Blower D’Qwell Jackson Allowed All 6 Patriots Touchdowns Vs. Colts

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So deflate-gate is really starting to take off huh? LOL. Dumbest shit I’ve ever seen. Only thing dumber is how many people are buying into it. Like I said, we won by a billion points, so none of this matters. Plus, Belichick isn’t  babysitter for the footballs during the game. Did they measure the balls before AND after the game? Who measured them? Was it taped? How do we know they’re not in on it? Give me a break. So many unanswered questions here that don’t make sense. Well the only reason this is even a story is because of some loser named D’Qwell Jackson, the Indianapolis Colts middle linebacker who intercepted Tom Brady’s terrible throw to Rob Gronkowski at the end of the first half. Here’s what happened according to Yahoo:

When Colts linebacker D’Qwell Jackson picked off Brady deep in Colts territory during Sunday’s AFC championship game, that’s when deflate-gate started. According to New York Newsday and WCVB in Boston, Jackson believed the ball wasn’t inflated as much as usual. He told a Colts equipment manager the ball felt under-inflated and gave it to him. The equipment man told Colts coach Chuck Pagano on the sideline. That message was relayed to Colts general manager Ryan Grigson in the press box, who told NFL director of football operations Mike Kensil, Newsday and WCVB said. Kensil told the on-field officials at halftime about the balls. Someone told Bob Kravitz of WTHR in Indianapolis, because he broke the story of the Patriots possibly deflating their game footballs – which would help them throw and catch it better in the rain – and now the NFL is looking into it.

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LOL. They just don’t make losers like my man D’Qwell Jackson like they used to. I can only assume he’s angry that his mother named him D’Qwell. This asshat gets his hand on a football in a game they’re losing by a touchdown (14-7) and the first thing he thinks to do is to run to the sideline and tell the teacher. They knew they had no chance of beating the Patriots so trying to tarnish their good name was his only move. Here’s the thing though. I rewatched that entire game last night just to see everything that #52 did while he was out there. And I can say with 100% certainty that he is by far the worst football player I have EVER seen. Let’s look at how he personally is responsible for ALL SIX PATRIOTS TOUCHDOWNS!!

After the Patriots marched it down the field Legarette Blount pounded it in for a touchdown. It was called back because his knee was down before the ball crossed the goal line, but D’Qwell got trucked on the way. Just to show DQ that he ain’t shit, Belichick sent Blount right back at him. First Jackson hits Blount at the half yard line:

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A real linebacker wraps up and makes the touchdown saving tackle. But he’s not a real linebacker. And his ass got trucked again by Blount:

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Touchdown!!

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Sorry Miss Jackson!! Never meant to make your daughter cry. I apologize a million times.

7-0 Patriots.

The Patriots got the ball back soon after that and marched down the field on this Division 6 defense. Brady threw a little dump off pass to James Develin:

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Should be one of the easiest tackles ever. D’Qwell Jackson has Develin off balance. It’s literally the perfect point for a linebacker to make an impact play and set the tone that they’re not gonna get beat by James FREAKING Develin. A real linebacker would do that. But DQ isn’t a real linebacker. So his ass got trucked instead:532960_1525021077781170_7082663170590128499_n

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Emasculating.

14-0 Patriots.

After Indy scored their only touchdown Brady marched them down the field and then threw the worst pass of his life:

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I’ve played with plenty of flat balls on the playground before. That ball’s just fine. The only play DQ can make is when a ball is literally thrown directly into his hands.

With the second half starting and the Patriots up 17-7 the Patriots once again did what they did best – run train on the Colts swiss cheese defense. Guess who was responsible for touchdown #3? If you said our boy DQ, then you’re starting to understand the concept of butthurtness. This time he was emasculated by a 320 pound offensive lineman – Nate Solder.

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As you can see Jackson is standing in no-man’s land. Solder, who was declared eligible OVER THE LOUD SPEAKER before the play, was his responsibility. Instead he allowed him to get open and catch the ball.

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Now at this point there’s no way Solder should score. He’s fat and slow, and he’s reversing directions. Jackson has momentum, and he’s supposed to be a lot faster than Solder. Instead he, and he alone was responsible for a fat man touchdown:

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24-7 Patriots.

The Pats weren’t done though. As soon as they got the ball back they started jamming it down their gullets. Blount didn’t just own D’Qwell Jackson today, he took his sister’s virginity. I could show you a million different plays like this one, where Jackson is responsible for stopping Blount:

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Gets facialized by Ryan Wendell (#62):

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and lets Blount get yet another big gain:

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Too easy. A couple plays later Jackson was responsible for covering the flat in this pass play. Shane Vereen (#34) is being covered by Jerrell Freeman (#50). Jackson’s job was to play the zone between Vereen and Gronk and get his hands up in case of a quick slant to Gronk:

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Instead he found himself out of position and threw his hands up in the air in vein:

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You know how the rest goes:

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31-7 Patriots. Too easy. If you’re keeping score at home DQ has now allowed ALL four touchdowns. All of them. But he wasn’t done yet though. Next time we got the ball it was back to Blount force trauma. As you can kind of see (water obstructs DQ partially in this shot), Jackson has his eyes directly set on Blount and knows he’s coming right at him. It’s his job to shed the impending block coming from Dan Connolly (#63) and make a play. That’s what winners do.

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But alas, DQ is not a winner. In fact he is a loser. So his ass got trucked. Again.

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This created a hole that can only be described as  GAPING:

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Mrs. Turtleboy could’ve run through that hole. And Blount went in for yet another EASY Patriots touchdown, that had nothing to do with the ball pressure:

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38-7 Patriots.

Finally just to let them know that we could do what we wanted to them when he wanted to do it, we sent in Blount for the trifecta. And once again DQ was directly responsible for this touchdown. He had Blount lined up in his sites and James Develin bearing down on him. Once again, it’s his JOB to shed the block or at least close the lane and disrupt Blount’s path:

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Instead he tried to go AROUND Develin and got creampied:

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This of course put him out of position to make the tackle, but he still got a helmet AND an arm on him.

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A real linebacker wraps him up and makes the stop. But as you know by, DQ is NOT a real linebacker, so he got trucked:

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Touchdown!! 45-7 Patriots.

So there you have it. DQ Jackson should be setting pins at the bowling alley, but instead he plays middle linebacker for the Colts. Instead of accepting the fact that he had no business being on the same field with legends, he whined to the equipment manager about ball pressure. Wah, wah, wah. More losers whining about the Patriots because they’re jealous. Enjoy watching the Super Bowl from home. Do what you want to us. Take away draft picks. Fine Bob Kraft. Doesn’t matter. Quite frankly the Patriots SHOULD have draft picks taken away from them because they have an unfair advantage over everyone else – they’re better at football. It’s like taxing the rich just because you can. You have to create a fair playing field and give everyone a trophy. DQ Jackson included.

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7 Comment(s)
  • December 7, 2015 at 5:28 am

    Very very funny

  • December 2, 2015 at 8:05 am

    This is good

  • Casey
    January 22, 2015 at 8:27 pm

    You do know that the interception led to the Colts only touchdown right? So how do you have he intercepted it after the Colts td?

    I love my Patriots but Jackson is a good player and he’s said the ball was fine, so lay off the hate fest when you can’t even get your facts right

  • Jay
    January 21, 2015 at 3:03 pm

    Good stuff! That’s impressive being responsible for six touchdowns.This whole deflated ball hooplah is like throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping it sticks. If deflating balls would help the Patriots throw and catch it better in the rain, why didn’t the Colts benefit from the decrease pressure. Do they not have a premier quarterback and equally capable receivers? Did Aaron Rodgers not just come out and say that he likes and uses footballs that are overinflated?

    Also, how many other minor rules are stretched and overlooked in the course of the game and simply viewed as the way the game is played. It’s like the transfer rule in baseball during a double play? After how many decades did they all of a sudden decide to enforce an existing rule? Prior to last season that was a non-issue.

    • Alex
      January 21, 2015 at 3:43 pm

      The reason the Colts didn’t benefit from the under inflated balls is because each team is responsible for bringing in their own balls pumped to their own satisfaction within the legal limits allowed. So only the Patriots used the balls that were under inflated, and the Colts were using their own balls that they brought in and had inspected before the game. However as anyone who saw the game noticed that Blount destroyed the Colts defense and even if we didn’t have the few passing TDs, that may have been a result of the balls being under inflated, we would have still won by a decent margin.

  • Chris
    January 21, 2015 at 11:35 am

    You are so right Turtleboy!! DQ is going to be watching the superbowl from the one place he deserves to be watching it——-from home!! Love yo ur blog Turtle!!

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