Desperate Attleboro Weirdo Does The Sex Offender Shuffle Into Half Of The City’s Females Private Messages, Gets Shut Down And Shamed, Does Not Have The Mental Prowess To Just Back Down

This is Natick Sands, an Attleboro man who apparently has been feeling kind of lonely lately, and found himself some internet fame earlier today when he wound up on the Everything Attleboro page, being called out for his unorthodox style of trying to pick up women. And failing. So. Miserably. 



Natick apparently has been looking for love in all the wrong places, namely, over 75 uninterested women’s inboxes. Tough break, guy.

So what’s a bathroom mirror selfie taking, Neanderthal-looking guy named after a town in the Greater Boston area to do when he’s in need of a little below-the-belt action? Why, send unsolicited, weird and explicit messages to everything with a vagina within a 10 mile radius, of course!


Good move, Dorchester! That always works out well! Nothing says, “I have crippling low self-esteem and virtually no tangibly mating options” quite like the classic sexting spam. The more the merrier, because if you cast your net wide, someone is bound to bite, right?


Wrong. Maybe spamming dick pics will help out the cause?


Sorry, buddy. It’s not even Bristol Community College.

Avon claims he’s “not trying to be a fuckboy”, and I for one believe him. It just comes naturally to him, clearly. Totally effortless.

Needless to say not only did Brookline strike out at every venture here, he also upset a lot of people. By the sheer volume of women showing up around the internet with screenshots and a story of their own, Brookline has spent many a late night practicing the art of being creepy, intrusive and rejected. What a great use of your abundant free time. When called out, though, he made another series of wise decisions. First he tried the time-tested strategy of deny, deny, deny.


But all the photographic evidence of his pathetic desperation really foiled that plan. Then he reverted to the whole “ladies man” act:


Which was even more easily refuted by the copious amounts of explicit messages sent and the much smaller amount of women who were interested in them – that number is zero, if anyone at home is keeping score. Sorry, Canton.

Then he went to the next-worst move: blaming women’s rights:


Which really is the most plausible excuse he manufactured here – because only in a regressed, Dystopian, hellscape  of a society where women were used as unwilling brood mares would this guy ever, ever, ever get laid. It is definitely human rights and an equal society that serves as the barrier here. Look at this fucking goon.

No thanks.


Obviously Natick’s parents didn’t love him enough to teach him effective people skills. They didn’t even love him enough to not name him something that would inevitably lead to relentless mocking all through his school years and beyond. And maybe that’s why, in addiction to being a level 10 DM diddler, he once threatened to go Columbine on his school:

Sun Chronicle:

“The case against a former Attleboro High School student accused of talking on Facebook about attacking the school will go to a Bristol County grand jury, while a co-defendant has agreed to accept a plea-bargain.

Natick Sands, 19, has rejected a deal to reduce the charges against him in return for his guilty plea and accept probation with a jail sentence he has already served awaiting trial, lawyers said Friday.

His lawyer, Brian Roman of North Attleboro, declined to comment other than to say the deal would have given Sands credit for the six months he spent in jail on bail.

The six months is the maximum penalty for the reduced charge of making threats to commit a crime.”


Oh, yeah. He seems well adjusted.

But anyway, ladies, the great news is this ultra eligible bachelor is still single, considering he’s exhausted all options within a 20 mile radius of his hometown. So if you’re interested in getting a slice of this creepy pie, you’re in luck. All you need is a vagina, pulse, and working internet connection. Don’t worry about anything else – he’ll come to you.

“It’s not rape if she can’t remember it happened!”

….Whether you like it or not.


18 Comment(s)
  • G
    May 4, 2019 at 4:01 am

    It’s good that he was put on blast. I was one of the tantalizing morsels this predator tried to sample. However, my uncanny ability to attract fuckboys raised a red flag and after several polite declines to his desperate attempts, I just blocked him. I thought I knew this jabroni but apparently I didn’t initially see the depths of his weirdo ways. He belongs in a group home. Let me call around to find him a placement.

  • Dr. Spaceman
    May 3, 2019 at 10:21 am

    I’ve only seen this a couple of times and it never works. It would appear that a forceps delivery was attempted on a Zika baby. There simply wasn’t enough to grap onto so the obstetrician’s response was to tighten the grip.

  • shdiksdg
    May 3, 2019 at 10:16 am

    Wow, DMs really show who the weirdos are out there! Thanks to that no one is gonna want ya now weirdo. Crazy thing is if he would act normal & didnt make himself look like a psychotic thirsty loser, he would be fckable.. especially if it’s as big as he claims

  • DoesithurtYOURfeelings?
    May 3, 2019 at 9:54 am

    Sadly there are many like Natick. I can’t even get on the subway w/o some dude making cat noises and then getting hurt by the IGNORE and yelling profanities. BTW I don’t give a shit if rejection hurts. Develop thick skin! No one owes you anything.

  • The angry taint
    The angry taint
    May 3, 2019 at 9:22 am

    only a matter of time until this mental defect abducts a young lady out of a bar….mark my words

  • Tim
    May 3, 2019 at 9:22 am

    WTF? How did he get out there. Put your pointy hat back on and get back in my garden.

  • Captain Trips
    Auntie Em
    May 3, 2019 at 8:36 am

    He’s sporting the ruby boots from the porn film ‘The Jizzard of Gobs’!

    Now….. if he’ll click those heels 3 times and disappear……….

  • WeRFucked
    May 3, 2019 at 7:52 am

    Am I the only one who can’t read many of the screen caps because they are too small?

  • Tim
    May 3, 2019 at 7:38 am

    Someone’s garden is missing a gnome.

  • Travis Rearick
    Adam Schiff
    May 3, 2019 at 3:44 am

    “Florida”, a more fitting name for this chud, that also is a Massachusetts town name.

  • WarGoddess
    May 3, 2019 at 2:14 am

    The guy is a VolCel; he is voluntarily shitty, so naturally he can’t interest a partner. I just hope he doesn’t decide this is the women’s fault and go shoot up a bunch of people. It’s not outside the realm of possibility with his past.

  • Imetmyhusbandatthebrocktonfair
    May 3, 2019 at 1:21 am

    Attleboro? He’s doing way more than he has to here. Stop texting and drive to forrest ave (aka the stroll) in brockton with $50 and get er done. Then waite till you go full blownseys from messing with chics with both the disease and the hivs. Or switch sides like Hernandez that other attleboro residing creep.

  • Chunk Face Vajay Killah
    May 3, 2019 at 12:15 am

    First off, his face all discombobulated and shit. Then what with the “I’m back till tomorrow. I wanna see you I’m tryna fuck.” as every single comment. Faloopy-eyed Chunk needs to be vasectomized… Soon!!!

  • Hank Hill
    May 3, 2019 at 12:14 am

    ::grabs Natck by the collar::

    ::Drags Natick to the Dolphin pool and Natick in::

    ::Rubs belly of dolphin to get it sexually aroused::

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    May 3, 2019 at 12:04 am

    “All you need is a vagina, pulse, and working internet connection.”

    Pretty sure he’s a “pulse optional” sort of guy.

  • Quincy Taunton
    May 2, 2019 at 10:23 pm

    Somebody’s husband, father or brother is going to make this fool regret sending this shit. What a sick asshole

  • Mom’s Basement
    May 2, 2019 at 10:19 pm

    Hey Bristol I’d be real interested to see the exchanges that did end up with him getting laid. You go find those while I go look for a pencil.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    May 2, 2019 at 9:35 pm

    The chud is the male equivalent of someone a chick would wake up next to after a drunken night and she would promptly put a bullet through her own temple in disgust

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