This is Matthew John from Litchfield, Maine.

He recently friend requested a woman on Facebook and claimed to know her from around town. She responded to a message he sent, which to him meant one thing – green light for dick pics.

I mean, why? Why do so many dudes send unsolicited dick pics? I get the thrill of sending them if the woman asks for them. But sending them to a complete stranger who could easly go and make you Facebook famous like this? Yikes!

Turns out she wasn’t the only one who got a message like that on Sunday.

You’ll notice that his bio (before taking the page down ) says he owns a restaurant. What he really meant by that is, “my girlfriend who doesn’t know I’m sending out dick pics” owns a restaurant.

Which is really a shame, because she’s a looker.

If your boyfriend embarrasses you like this it’s one of the easiest excuses to leave imaginable. But skeevy grunts like him live a life of lies, so they almost always go with the “I was hacked” routine. The question is, would she be dumb enough to believe it? Answer –

Yes. Yes she would be.

She can assure her that he didn’t send it because he pinky swore.

He deleted his Facebook, which conveniently means that she can’t check his messages to see who he sent dick pics to, because the account doesn’t exist.

The best lie is that he “contacted Facebook.” As someone who has lost close to 50 Facebook pages, and over half a million followers, I can assure you that there is no way to contact Facebook. They are an unreachable entity that controls the distribution of information around the world.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – no one believes you when you say that you’re hacked. It’s a default excuse that boomers believe because they don’t know any better. No one under the age of 40 should fall for it.

• If he was hacked he would have evidence. He would’ve contacted the woman who got the dick pics to apologize and clear his name. 
• Hacked accounts steal information, they don’t send strange women dick pics.
• He’s been accused of this by other women.

So either take it or leave it Linze with Z. Your boyfriend has a thing for flogging the dolphin in his car and assumes random women he’s never met before will be turned on by that proposition. If you’re ready for a lifetime on that then by all means, believe “I was hacked.” But if you’re interested in self-respect and not embarrassing yourself, you’re gonna have to come to terms with reality dear.

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