Follow and Subscribe to Turtleboy podcasts on SoundCloud or iTunes by clicking here.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.
If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:
This is Angela Kershaw from Dighton.
It’s December 14, so naturally she decided to start her Christmas shopping today. Except instead of going to the store or going on Amazon and buying shit for her crotch nuggets, she decided to go on a Fall River yard sale page and beg for “xmas” stuff for her kids because she’s “hrten.”
The only thing that’s hurten right now is the English language.
Luckily someone brought up the fact that she had all year to plan for Christmas, and instead was trying to guilt a bunch of strangers into playing south coast Santa Claus for her.
As you can see, Shyanne was anxious to defend this sybian jockey’s honor by pointing out that she has an arrangement with her bestie where she buys her tampons every month and in return she gets nothing. Because without her generosity her friend’s Red Sea would overflow into the Persian Gulf and all hell would break loose.
Except here’s the problem – Angela admitted on Facebook that she voluntarily quit her job because she doesn’t like doing dishes.
She’s been posting about shopping sprees.
She has plenty of money for girls night at the bar.
And going out for movies and tampons with friends.
Nevertheless, Shyanne insisted on formulating excuses for this swamp donkey.
Ya know why people online panhandle? Because people like Shyanne exist. Because they know that when reasonable people call them out on their bullshit the enablers will be there to fight their battles for them. Of course people like Shyanne never actually offer them any money, presumably because they’ve spent it all on tampons for their friends.
Then there was Harley Ann who came in hot with the only God can judge routine.
Nah. Hard pass on that. How bout I say whatever I feel like saying and you just kind of sit there and get mad about it instead? I work my ass off all year and budget appropriately to make sure I can provide my kids with a Christmas. When I see a grown woman wasting her money on stupid shit, refusing to work, and then pulling a pity party 11 days before Christmas I am going to judge the shit out of her.
Linda was fired up too.
Did she say she doesn’t work? Actually yes.
She did. Shove that up your taco warmer Linda.
Then Pastor Chantel started quoting scripture to let everyone know that she was more enlightened than those who believe that begging for free shit 11 days before Christmas is shitting parenting.
Bitch, you ain’t never read the Bible. The day that I get lectured about Jesus by this pork grenade.
Is the day I start worshipping Satan.
So we know Angela just quit her job, and goes out drinking and whatnot, but is there anywhere else she could’ve cut corners to avoid this online panhandling? Let’s check her Facebook page.
See the bartender in background in the blue shirt? Guess where he works.
That’s the Norwegian Cruise line uniform on the pool deck. They go out of Boston every week to Bermuda. Uncle Turtleboy recognized it right away when I sent him this story idea because he went on it this summer.
She’s got TONS of pictures from what appear to be her annual trips to Bermuda.
She’s got a pretty nice house too for someone who can’t afford to buy her kid’s Christmas gifts.
And they just got the porch redone!
She’s been married.
She parties with the crew in hotel rooms.
Oh. My. God. The woman on the left. That is the most Fall River thing these eyes have ever seen.
She also has been selling her kid’s shit for the last week or so all over yard sale pages.
Here’s an idea – spend the money you made pawning your kid’s shit on Christmas gifts this year. Might work.
Oh, and she’s also bought her kids “another” dirt bike because, “my kids come first.”
And how old are these kids anyway?
She’s begging for free shit for a 18 year old. A grown adult. This is who we’re supposed to feel bad for.
Doesn’t look like she’s hurten so bad after all.
Christmas is a religious holiday and we’re supposed to enjoy time with our family and provide each other with love and blah, blah, blah. But of course these heathens only go to church when one of their friends OD’s and croaks, so that concept is completely foreign to them.