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One thing we’ve been waiting to see since Wednesday morning is some good old fashioned burning. So many tweets, so many statuses, but no flames. It’s what we do best in protest. Dating back through my childhood, there was nothing a burning effigy or couch wouldn’t make better.
Packers destroy Drew Bledsoe in Superbowl XXXI? Flaming Cars!
Grady Little keeps Pedro in ‘03? Dumpster Fire!
And in 2016: Trump wins? Burn your…shoes?
Latest craze to hit the butthurts is New Balance shoes: a Boston-based company and the ONLY major sports apparel company still making its product in the USA. Naturally, NB leadership is amenable to Trump’s protectionist trade policy, and in a statement to the Wall Street Journal on Wednesday, the Company’s VP of Public Affairs stated,
“The Obama administration turned a deaf ear to us and frankly with President-Elect Trump we feel things are going to move in the right direction.”
Naturally, good Americans would burn their shoes after this:
Thanks @Milftears. I bet you respect the crap out of Milfs!
At least I give this guy credit. The shoes are burning, and I’m pretty sure they are New Balances. Seems like everybody else got…cold feet!
— kiemzi (@kiemzi) November 10, 2016
You have an iPhone. It has video capability. And those are nice shoes. Guaranteed these babies did not #feelthebern
— mayraromeroferman (@mayraromeroferm) November 10, 2016
You go girl! Pink bag and everything! Doesn’t count if shoes are old and were going to throw out anyway.
— Al Fredo (@tbrooks__) November 10, 2016
Doesn’t count. Above the Rim.
— Flop (@jaredgreenberg3) November 10, 2016
100% guarantee this person is wearing these shoes right now. I’ve eaten three-day-old donuts out of the desk-size, waste bin. This is not trash. This is temporary storage.
My favorite part about this last picture is that it’s a college freshman, Jared Greenberg, at Indiana University’s Kelley School of Business. Probably hasn’t studied up on his Econ 101 where he will learn that the Nike’s he’s wearing in his profile were once made in Oregon out of a gargage, until Phil Knight discovered he could make a fortune by paying Asians pennies an hour and polluting the air ad nausaem (literally) to make the same shoes.
New Balance chooses to employ Americans to make its shoes, and as a result, they pay employees more than Nike. Naturally they might support a president whose only point of policy is to keep American jobs by making Nike shoes more expensive through tariffs.
But don’t worry Jared, we know you didn’t actually throw them out anyway. Hope this got you laid.
I’m not really a New Balance guy, but I think it’s time to go out and get me a pair. It takes a lot of balls to stand up and say that you’re happy with the outcome of this election. And I respect companies with balls, considering we’re living in an age where PC Nazis throw hissy fits when you say something they don’t like.
Trade was always Trump’s biggest issue. He wants to keep jobs in America. You do this by enacting tariffs and getting rid of free trade. But apparently these Fascists would rather their shoes be made in Chinese sweatshops that are destroying the ozone layer. Ya know, because……progress.
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