Hoodrat Heroes

DJ Flaccid Films Somerville Swamp Donkey’s Arrest, Complains That He Plead The Fifth Amendment, Hoodtacular Commentary Ensues

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Every day could be a police officer’s last. As we saw in Yarmouth yesterday, you can never be too careful when dealing with criminals. But yet hoodboogers everywhere treat them like they’re the enemy for protecting the rest of us who don’t want these violent thugs to walk amongst us. And quite frankly, anyone who doesn’t comply with simple police orders is a ratchet. Do what the cops ask you to do, and if you’re not breaking the law the they’ll send you on your merry way.

Here’s an example out of Somerville.

“He was not charged with anything. He did not do anything wrong. He plead his fifth amendment rights…”

HAAHHAHAHHAHAHA!! I love when these crotchbirds become constitutional scholars. He plead his fifth amendment rights!! Sure, you plead the fifth in an actual courtroom when a lawyer asks you a question that could incriminate yourself, but nevertheless this counts as a fifth amendment violation!

“Danielle Payas is gonna be on your ass after this. Because you don’t know who the fuck I am.”

I’m sure Danielle will appreciate the name dropping. This is obviously someone you want associating with you in a professional manner.

We are provided with no background into this event, but I’m sure Kevaughn was on his way to the library to return all the books he just finished reading so that he could avoid paying the late fees, when all of a sudden three Somerville cops restrained him for no reason whatsoever. Evidently they were questioning him about a crime, and instead of just cooperating (if he had nothing to hide) he went all “muh rights” because obviously Kevaughn here is a constitutional scholar.

The cops were apparently looking for someone who had been involved in a violent incident and wanted to search Kevaughn for unknown reasons. Naturally he elected to resist the cops but once again was undone by the achilles heel of the urban hoodrat – the lack of a belt:

Here’s an idea Kevaughn – just empty your pockets next time. They’re obviously talking to you for a reason. Either that or try to take on three cops at once. Whatever you feel is a higher percentage play.

I don’t know what the videographer DJ Flaccid’s real name is, but obviously he’s got life by the balls.

And he showers frequently.

And that’s actually an upgrade from his previous haircut….

Jesus H. Jerry Curl!!

He’s a well established rapper who performs 60 second bits about such original topics as “snitches,” “bitches,” and “hoes” on free radio:

Because obviously no one would ever pay money to be associated with whatever that was supposed to be.

Nevertheless, he sexy AF because he got some of that education and knowledge!

And if you wanna get in the next rap video, head on down to Somerville for April 21. Just make sure to bring your own 100 emojis.

DJ Flaccid and Kevaughn claim to be completely innocent citizens who were harassed by the police with no probable cause. Which would explain why just two days earlier he was posting about upcoming court dates and using law abiding hashtags like #FreeTheGang.

Turns out when the cops stopped him he was trying to “chase my dreams,” which he’s apparently now parlaying into a new album:

Oh, and a good way to show the world that you are in fact innocent is by using the hashtag #FuckTheLaw

 

Because nothing says, “law abiding citizen” quite like #FuckTheLaw.

Obviously his rap career is taking off, as can be seen by the fact that he’s a grown man who may one day own his own car, instead of leeching off people for free Uber rides to court….

Oh, and “fuck the mayor” too:

Yea, fuck the mayor. If only he knew who the mayor of his city was. Nevertheless he’s gotta be a bad mayor though, because anyone with a job is bad.

Newsflash DJ Flaccid – you live in a city with the most notorious mayor in Massachusetts who sympathizes with and caters to douche nuggets like you. Joe Curtatone looks at you and sees one thing – votes. He much prefers people like you to the cops in that video. Show him this and he’ll probably have a press conference urging the DA to drop all the charges and buy your rap album. He’d be the first.

This immediately led to some brilliant commentary from other fluent English speakers who took a break from reading Dostoyevsky to comment on the video:

Good point Riane – fights with the cops are supposed to be fair. They’re supposed to line up, one on one, and fight criminals bare knuckle boxing style. That’s how law and order works.

Others started sharing their anecdotes of cops being mean to them, to which DJ Flaccid would use his erudite vocabulary to offer such brilliant insight as “facts,” “n words is all pussy,” and “frfr”

Another great way to make people believe your dindu nuffin story is excessive use of 100 emojis.

Because I just assume that anyone who uses 100 emojis in conversation volunteers at their church’s food pantry in their spare time.

The arrest evidently came as a shock to DJ Flaccid, because he has “state troopers, police, professional boxers, and artists signed to professional labels in his corner:

Of course the cops were racist too:

Because any time the cops detain someone who isn’t white it’s automatically racist. Duh!

Hopefully the Somerville PD read the comments because they will now know NOT to fuck with Danika Otero:

Because she will gab a bitch bro! Which sounds scary! Does this look like a bitch who won’t touch you back?

Slay girl!!

Then it was time to start tagging the media. But which stations would they choose? Obviously you’d like to pick one that’s more sympathetic to criminals and is interested in pushing the “cops be racist” agenda. Naturally they chose…..

Fox News and World Star. Because if there’s one thing I know about Fox News, it’s that they’re very left leaning and cater towards this type of clientele.

Anyway, if you wanna kill some brain cells then had on over to DJ Flaccid’s Facebook page. He’s been ranting and raving and making Facebook Live videos about how innocent he is all day, because God knows he doesn’t have to be at work. It’s not like he has to worry about going to jail or anything. After all, this is Massachusetts. But if I were him I’d be worried about losing my food stamps after an arrest like this. LOL. Just kidding, he’s in no danger of losing his food stamps.

28 Comment(s)
  • E
    April 16, 2018 at 1:57 pm

    This is not DJ Flaccid. I’m not sure who this individual is, but the REAL Dj Flaccid is receiving threats from this lack of fact checking. Please stop using DJ Flaccid’s name to talk about this individual. In no way is there any affiliation between the two people. I can’t even seem to find how you linked the two incorrectly…. East VillE Esco never mentions DJ FLACCID in ANY OF HIS SOCIAL MEDIA.
    This complete lack of fact checking has threatened the safety of an innocent individual.

    • Melissa Garza
      April 19, 2018 at 5:48 am

      I just read this and the article said DJ Flaccid was the one recording the video, not that he was the one in the video. Are you saying he wasn’t the one who took the video?

      • E
        April 19, 2018 at 9:29 am

        That’s exactly what I’m saying. The man being arrested AND the man filming both are NOT DJ Flaccid. It’s extremely confusing why the name even got brought into this.
        DJ Flaccid is a respected vinyl DJ in the Somerville area who has worked hard to build up a fan base and many wedding and event gigs. He is now being reached out to be family members who are worried for his safety and strangers threatening him. All because whoever wrote this article was being careless and now is ignoring our requests to change the details of this story.
        If anyone would take a minute to actually look up DJ Flaccid they would see he looks absolutely nothing like either of these men.

  • Aegon
    April 15, 2018 at 9:17 pm

    This guy isn’t DJ Flaccid.
    DJ Flaccid is a totally different person than this guy in the video, eastville esco or whatever his handle is.

    Please direct your hatemail accordingly.
    Or fact check.

  • K
    April 14, 2018 at 8:48 pm

    Whatevah I think you’re the piece of shit. Stop talking about Muslims. You’re nothing but a racist Pig.

    • Bern
      April 15, 2018 at 4:43 am

      DJ Flaccid (lol!) “I know my fifth amendment rights”

    • K
      April 15, 2018 at 7:44 am

      Fuck your opinion and get the fuck away from white people so we can live in peace and order or pay the consequences. We’re done with your shit and we’re locked and loaded.

    • E
      April 16, 2018 at 1:53 pm

      THANK YOU!!! This is poor journalism. Slandering someone’s name who has absolutely NOTHING to do with this. The real DJ Flaccid has received threats because of this lack of fact checking.

  • K
    April 14, 2018 at 8:45 pm

    you have no idea what happened. You’re just assuming because they’re black and live in the hood they must have committed a crime. That’s what’s wrong with the world today. Everyone assume the black man is guilty. I have no idea what happened but just because he’s black and lives in the hood, I don’t want to assume he is guilty.

    • NR
      April 14, 2018 at 8:55 pm

      Are you capable of comprehending what you read? Rhetorical question because clearly not.

    • K Bitch
      April 15, 2018 at 7:56 am

      Yeah, you have no idea what happened, so fuck off and let the cops who know what happened do their job. We’re done with your shit. We’re joining forces with the cops to shut you spics and coons the fuck down because unlike other minorities like Armenians, Japanese, Indians, Koreans, etc. you are completely unable to not be ghetto hoodrat criminals.

      Those who live in peace and order represent real society, and realistically, spics and coons prove every day serve no purpose to us except to test our patience, drain resources and be a fucking menace.

      We will put a fucking smackdown on you that you won’t see coming, and it’s on the way.

  • DaTruth
    April 14, 2018 at 10:14 am

    Love the headphones over the hoodie while rapping. Real hardo

  • whatevuh
    April 14, 2018 at 5:54 am

    Piece of shit fucking muslim

  • AgingCynic
    April 14, 2018 at 3:36 am

    So this brain donor calls HIMSELF “DJ Flaccid”? Does he have a Google app? He knows that means limp dick, right?

  • Sloppy
    April 13, 2018 at 10:47 pm

    I was planning to go stand around on the street in Somerville today too, but I had to work today.

  • Man or woman???
    April 13, 2018 at 8:30 pm

    Serious question because I really can’t tell..Does Danika have a penis or a vagina??

    • NR
      April 14, 2018 at 11:17 am

      I thought the same thing. Danika is Dan playing dress up. Bet DJ Flaccid enjoys his mouth. 

    • Fuck a hater
      May 2, 2018 at 8:54 am

      And yall haters will never know but u know one thing she look better than have the bitches yall ever had bunch of basic motherfuckers jajajajajaaa

  • juror seven esq.
    April 13, 2018 at 7:24 pm

    Can anyone explain why this gifted rapper has the head phones on the outside of the hood while he’s delivering his dynamic message? I’m thinking it’s because he’s fucking stupid.

  • Cock Weasel Mike
    April 13, 2018 at 7:23 pm

    CAPTAIN COCK SMOOCH

  • Fuck These Hoodrats
    April 13, 2018 at 7:03 pm

    Someday in the future, the law abiding, decent civilians are going to get fed up with these fucking scumbags. When that day comes, these fucks better get the fuck out of this country or suffer a fate they could never have imagined. We are quickly losing our patience with the dregs of society who are nothing more than a fucking scourge to decent people and they need to be liquidated. They will find out that they are too small of a minority to put up a fight. We have had it.

    • SCTR
      April 13, 2018 at 10:21 pm

      It is coming because these dumb asses get zero repercussions for behavior. MA rewards them for behavior by giving them SSI or SSDI for a disease, MassHealth, food stamps etc. 

    • Iron Boots
      April 15, 2018 at 7:39 am

      They’ve had enough time.

  • Darkzilla21
    April 13, 2018 at 7:00 pm

    If North Korea & Russia nuked all the liberal [email protected] on the east and west coast`s they would be
    doing America a solid ……………………………………..

  • Lou P
    April 13, 2018 at 6:32 pm

    My genuine fear is that the percentage of stupid, dumb, lazy fucks like this idiot and all those who “smh” in agreement with his nonsense is becoming greater than 50%. It’s edging awfully close.
    Then, the rest of us who are able to think and speak clearly, are doomed.

  • The Vorlon
    April 13, 2018 at 5:42 pm

    I think this aspiring artist’s best play would be to try to get his beard declared an endangered bird nesting site.

    Let’s hope he gets neutered before he spawns.

  • TJB
    April 13, 2018 at 5:40 pm

    Q; What is the difference between a Dominican man and a Dominican woman?
    A; the woman has more facial hair.

  • MrSmiley
    April 13, 2018 at 5:12 pm

    Somerville should be a test range for cruise missiles at this point.

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