Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here.
Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.
If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:
Every day could be a police officer’s last. As we saw in Yarmouth yesterday, you can never be too careful when dealing with criminals. But yet hoodboogers everywhere treat them like they’re the enemy for protecting the rest of us who don’t want these violent thugs to walk amongst us. And quite frankly, anyone who doesn’t comply with simple police orders is a ratchet. Do what the cops ask you to do, and if you’re not breaking the law the they’ll send you on your merry way.
Here’s an example out of Somerville.
“He was not charged with anything. He did not do anything wrong. He plead his fifth amendment rights…”
HAAHHAHAHHAHAHA!! I love when these crotchbirds become constitutional scholars. He plead his fifth amendment rights!! Sure, you plead the fifth in an actual courtroom when a lawyer asks you a question that could incriminate yourself, but nevertheless this counts as a fifth amendment violation!
“Danielle Payas is gonna be on your ass after this. Because you don’t know who the fuck I am.”
I’m sure Danielle will appreciate the name dropping. This is obviously someone you want associating with you in a professional manner.
We are provided with no background into this event, but I’m sure Kevaughn was on his way to the library to return all the books he just finished reading so that he could avoid paying the late fees, when all of a sudden three Somerville cops restrained him for no reason whatsoever. Evidently they were questioning him about a crime, and instead of just cooperating (if he had nothing to hide) he went all “muh rights” because obviously Kevaughn here is a constitutional scholar.
The cops were apparently looking for someone who had been involved in a violent incident and wanted to search Kevaughn for unknown reasons. Naturally he elected to resist the cops but once again was undone by the achilles heel of the urban hoodrat – the lack of a belt:
Here’s an idea Kevaughn – just empty your pockets next time. They’re obviously talking to you for a reason. Either that or try to take on three cops at once. Whatever you feel is a higher percentage play.
I don’t know what the videographer DJ Flaccid’s real name is, but obviously he’s got life by the balls.
And he showers frequently.
And that’s actually an upgrade from his previous haircut….
Jesus H. Jerry Curl!!
He’s a well established rapper who performs 60 second bits about such original topics as “snitches,” “bitches,” and “hoes” on free radio:
Because obviously no one would ever pay money to be associated with whatever that was supposed to be.
Nevertheless, he sexy AF because he got some of that education and knowledge!
And if you wanna get in the next rap video, head on down to Somerville for April 21. Just make sure to bring your own 100 emojis.
DJ Flaccid and Kevaughn claim to be completely innocent citizens who were harassed by the police with no probable cause. Which would explain why just two days earlier he was posting about upcoming court dates and using law abiding hashtags like #FreeTheGang.
Turns out when the cops stopped him he was trying to “chase my dreams,” which he’s apparently now parlaying into a new album:
Oh, and a good way to show the world that you are in fact innocent is by using the hashtag #FuckTheLaw
Because nothing says, “law abiding citizen” quite like #FuckTheLaw.
Obviously his rap career is taking off, as can be seen by the fact that he’s a grown man who may one day own his own car, instead of leeching off people for free Uber rides to court….
Oh, and “fuck the mayor” too:
Yea, fuck the mayor. If only he knew who the mayor of his city was. Nevertheless he’s gotta be a bad mayor though, because anyone with a job is bad.
Newsflash DJ Flaccid – you live in a city with the most notorious mayor in Massachusetts who sympathizes with and caters to douche nuggets like you. Joe Curtatone looks at you and sees one thing – votes. He much prefers people like you to the cops in that video. Show him this and he’ll probably have a press conference urging the DA to drop all the charges and buy your rap album. He’d be the first.
This immediately led to some brilliant commentary from other fluent English speakers who took a break from reading Dostoyevsky to comment on the video:
Good point Riane – fights with the cops are supposed to be fair. They’re supposed to line up, one on one, and fight criminals bare knuckle boxing style. That’s how law and order works.
Others started sharing their anecdotes of cops being mean to them, to which DJ Flaccid would use his erudite vocabulary to offer such brilliant insight as “facts,” “n words is all pussy,” and “frfr”
Another great way to make people believe your dindu nuffin story is excessive use of 100 emojis.
Because I just assume that anyone who uses 100 emojis in conversation volunteers at their church’s food pantry in their spare time.
The arrest evidently came as a shock to DJ Flaccid, because he has “state troopers, police, professional boxers, and artists signed to professional labels in his corner:
Of course the cops were racist too:
Because any time the cops detain someone who isn’t white it’s automatically racist. Duh!
Hopefully the Somerville PD read the comments because they will now know NOT to fuck with Danika Otero:
Because she will gab a bitch bro! Which sounds scary! Does this look like a bitch who won’t touch you back?
Then it was time to start tagging the media. But which stations would they choose? Obviously you’d like to pick one that’s more sympathetic to criminals and is interested in pushing the “cops be racist” agenda. Naturally they chose…..
Fox News and World Star. Because if there’s one thing I know about Fox News, it’s that they’re very left leaning and cater towards this type of clientele.
Anyway, if you wanna kill some brain cells then had on over to DJ Flaccid’s Facebook page. He’s been ranting and raving and making Facebook Live videos about how innocent he is all day, because God knows he doesn’t have to be at work. It’s not like he has to worry about going to jail or anything. After all, this is Massachusetts. But if I were him I’d be worried about losing my food stamps after an arrest like this. LOL. Just kidding, he’s in no danger of losing his food stamps.