• Duckface McBallsack Wants To Trade You His Broke Ass Xbox For All Your Adderall And Bet Your Sweet Ass He Wants You To Deliver It To Him In Fall River!



    Duckface McBallsack Wants To Trade You His Broke Ass Xbox For All Your Adderall And Bet Your Sweet Ass He Wants You To Deliver It To Him In Fall River!

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    Selling or trading drugs seems to be the latest trend in the cavernous armpit that is Fall River. However, stupid criminals don’t just stop at their friends list like the last chick who was hocking Kpins last week. 

    Meet Adam “Duck-Facing Ballsack” Bradke LaCroix Phillips. He’s a transplant from down south and he’s a special brand of window taster. I’m guessing he has so many last names because his mom had a free-for-all on guessing who his daddy was. She just went with them all. YOLO. 

    Adam decided it was a good idea to post his Xbox 360 for trade on the Facebook Marketplace and in Threw Up In Fall River. Totally normal, right? 

    LOL. If it was just a standard transaction we wouldn’t be here. 

    This walking chemo’d scrotum wasn’t looking to sell the console. He wanted to trade it for pharmaceutical upper snacks like Adderal or Ritalin. No exceptions. 

    Don’t even bother him if you don’t know what they are. 

    He said someone stole them after his first few posts didn’t get the reaction he was looking for. Wait, are you telling me that all people who lose their highly controlled medications don’t bait people with a decade-old gaming console?  What could be suspect about this? 

    Now Adam has two Facebook accounts and he posted, and reposted, from both of them. So, what are the chances of a hacker getting in to both of them? Oohh, there goes that excuse. This should get amusing as he doesn’t seem that bright. 

     

    I’m sure that this whole thing is just a misunderstanding. He’s probably never done drugs ever.

    It’s too bad one of his multiple baby mommas, Heather, took to posting his latest accomplishment. 

    As we’ve learned in the past, nothing says “they ain’t for me” like your crack nugget sniffing bae posting your mandatory drug test results all over Facebook. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t have custody of all his kids? 

    Of course, if he had eaten through his entire script and needed more, that test wouldn’t show medication abuse. 

    I’m sure that this was all on the up and up. 

    He is a keeper regardless of what you say about her man. Who can fight off this kind of romanticism? 

    Maybe it was just a HUGE joke? 

    That’s probably why he asked a Turtlerider if she was law enforcement. 

    Guess he freaked when he thought she was a minor. A man has got to have a code when Facebook drug dealing! Sounds like he had some time to kill and it wasn’t a total emergency for him to have his medication. Shucks. 

    Sadly, the only joke here is this dude, as MVTB pointed out, looks like James Carville shit him. 

    I wonder if Carville can make me a kissy queef face for better comparison. 

    I’m facinated to hear how the trash bags will explain this one. Something tells me Adam might be going to jail for his brilliant idea to get high. 

    South Shore Turtlegirl

    [email protected] Covering the dirty South Shore and Coast. Email me with tips, send me some hate mail, or just say hello!

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    Discussion

    1. Glaw


      Am I the only one that thinks this is a gay woman with alopecia?

    2. KW


      He looks like pinhead from movie Hellraiser

    3. gfldgadfly


      The tat is only visible (i didnt say LEGIBLE ) when his neck/foreskin is pulled back. Unique…. wish I could un-see that, though.

    4. Chip Striker


      Country is going down the shitter.

    5. Lord Voldemort Bradke LaCroix Phillips


      Yo Bro, first you steal my addies now you’re selling my Xbox 360. You’re such a shitty twin. You’re still mad about mom telling us that she loved me more. Get over it!

    6. ElJefe72


      Man, Billy Corgan has really hit rock bottom.

    7. MrSmiley


      Don’t worryyyyy, facebook moderators are real…..

    8. wabbitt


      That dude looks like my ball bag after I got done manscaping the other day.

    9. Too Tall Tim


      I think he resembles his great great great aunt Lizzie.. What was her last name….?…Oh yeah, Borden, Lizzie Borden

      1. Too Tall Tim


        posting problem?

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