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I was under the impression that the Indianapolis Colts fans had come to grips with the fact that their season will be over Monday morning. It was a really nice run. Everyone knew Andrew Luck would lead them to victory over the Cincinnati Bengals. But he really transcended when he overthrew Peyton Manning as the second best quarterback in the AFC, and in so doing took down the Denver Broncos. Job well done. That was cute and all but everyone knows the ride is over for the Colts. We’ve been saying since day one that the season begins for the New England Patriots once we figure out who we’re playing in the Super Bowl. But apparently Colts bloggers actually think this is going to be a real game Sunday night.

Let’s check out what my buddy Kyle Rodriguez from SB Nation has to say:

This week isn’t just a time to look forward to the Colts playing in an AFC championship game. This is war. War with a group of loud, obnoxious “fans” that have been more spoiled than anybody in America. War with the beer-spilling “QB WINZ” crowd. War with east coast media bias. War with tyranny!

This is gonna be about as much of a war as Operation Desert Storm. And he’s absolutely right. We’re extremely spoiled because God loves us more than everyone else. That’s a scientific fact. Why else would he reign duckboat parades down on us like it’s going out of style? But hey, you can give it your best shot I guess.

Yea, you’re probably gonna miss though. Just a reminder that in Andrew Luck’s three career games against the Patriots the Colts have been outscored 144-66. I repeat: 144 to 66. An average score of 48-22. That’s not just domination, it’s 100% emasculation. The Pats simply don’t score less than 40 against this team. Not without the ghost of Bob Sanders roaming the secondary.

Colts fans are well aware of the… questionable treatment the Patriots have received from referees over the years. First there was the mugging of the Colts receivers in Foxboro back in the early 2000s, which would eventually lead to the NFL deciding to re-emphasize the illegal contact rules.

Oh look, more losers crying about the refs. Wah, wah, wah. The refs won’t let Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison play arena league football. They’re being too physical…..in FOOTBALL!!!

Hey Assante, play nice-nice!! Oh well, I guess I cant expect a fan base whose most important sporting event involves driving around in circles hundreds of times and inhaling fumes, to understand that football is a man’s game.

The media bought into Brady before he did anything, when he was Russell Wilson, except not as good. He was carried by this era’s best coach and a standout defense to three Super Bowls, although he did contribute more to the final one, in 2004. Meanwhile, Peyton Manning got crapped on by media for YEARS because he didn’t have the same level of defensive support or coaching

HAHAHHAHA. Peyton Manning got crapped on by the media? LOL. That’s a first. Has there ever been a player in all of sports that gives the media more chub than Peyton Manning? All he’s done his ENTIRE career is lose big games. He won ONE real playoff game against us in 2006. At home. That’s it. Beating the Rex Grossman Bears doesn’t count.

P.S. Guess who has the better playoff passer rating, Brady or Manning? You bet your bosoms it’s the Fivehead.

This comment is so Indy it hurts. Who gives a shit about that stupid 9-3 record Brady has against the Colts. Did you even see the QB rating that Manning put up? That’s what’s really important!! That and Chicken Parm sandwiches.

If locked in a battle with ruthless Patriots fans, you may resort to Spygate mentions, but only do so if left with no other options. It’s the ultimate trump card, reminding them of the Patriots illegal activities, and the fact that they haven’t won a Super Bowl since, but it’s one that we should avoid using if possible, because we are classy.

Ding, ding, ding!! If you were missing the “spygate” square on your Patriots hater Bingo card you just hit the jackpot!! Just a reminder that the Patriots have been to two Super Bowls since spygate, and had David Tyree not pulled a rabbit out of his poophole the 2007 Pats would’ve been the greatest team in NFL history. If the Patriots were so dependent on “spygate” to win, then why did it take a once-in-a-lifetime catch to stop us from winning?

Another reason to hate Brady is the massive collection of douchey modeling photos he’s racked up over the years. As sad as Andrew Luck’s spit-takes are, at least they’re not the elitist and MAJORLY UNCOMFORTABLE takes that Brady’s put out there.

Oh look, they’re taking the Buffalo approach to Patriot hating – insinuating Tom Brady’s manhood is compromised. See a lot of people don’t know about Colts fans, or know that they even exist. But they’re real, and they’re dooshnozzles. I went to Indy for the fourth and two game back in 2009 expecting to see a bunch of “gee-golly” sweater wearing midwestern grandmas. Instead what I got was Buffalo 2.0. You’re damn right Brady goes full Brokeback in the offseason:

Dominating life. 100% man. You’re allowed to have your supermodel wife dress you up and make you hug livestock as long as you back it up by being the greatest quarterback in NFL history for 15 years. The fact that Colts and Bills and Jets, and every other NFL team’s fans have to not only lose to us, but then see these pictures in the offseason gives me the greatest sense of satisfaction possible.

The worst is Dan Shaughnessy.

Agreed.

The bottom line is Andrew Luck is a great young player and five years from now wben Aaron Rodgers is on the decline he’ll be the best in the NFL. But Sunday isn’t in five years. It’s in two days. And a quarterback who’s thrown eight interception in three career games against us is basically a free lunch for Revis and crew. Pats 45, Colts 24.

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