WTF

Dumb People Say Dumb Things About Seal Infestation Video In Truro

"I Am Turtleboy" now available on Amazon

Follow @Nunchuck_Ninja on Twitter by clicking here.

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and Terrence Collie to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:




 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all. 

 

Look at this infestation of bullshit in Truro:

This. Is. Madness.

The next time I hear some idiot say that we need to protect seals I think my head is going to explode. This is why we’ve had two shark attacks in the last month. Because fat balls of blubber have taken over the outer cape. How can anyone watch that video and not think we have a problem? Let’s look at some of the stupid comments on that video….

Oh shut up Sally. We are not a “guest” in their home. The United States of America owns 12 miles out to sea until we hit international waters. It’s 4,000 miles to France. Their “home” is the 3,988 miles of water outside of Cape Cod. Human beings are not a guest in anything. By that logic we never should’ve settled anything past 495. After all, that was the bear’s home!! We’re just a guest here!! If a bear wants to eat you, you just have to let them do it, because you’re trespassing on THEIR home. See how stupid that sounds?

But wait, it gets stupider….

Upsetting the ecosystem? Bitch, we’re upsetting the ecosystem by letting these creatures reproduce like the Fall River Guttermuppet!! They eat fish. Lots of it. They’re multiplying exponentially. Eventually they will run out of food. In the meantime they will completely drive fishermen out of business. But, fuck them right? God forbid a bunch of people maintain the ability to make a living because it makes you sad that these worthless creatures have to have their numbers controlled.

Then there was this:

So what are we supposed to do, kill the seals? Yes moron. That’s exactly what you do when a species of animal becomes overpopulated. We use strategy and critical thinking skills, which no other species of animal possesses, to control their populations. Because we don’t want to annihilate their population altogether, or make sharks go extinct. We just want to have a nice balance where sharks don’t come to Cape Cod in record numbers every summer like it’s all you can eat night at Papa Gino’s.

“What are we supposed to do if there’s too many deer running onto the highway? Kill them? I think not.”

See how dumb that sounds? And why the hell is everyone so obsessed with protecting sharks and seals, but no one gives a shit about the fish? Does Nemo not have feelings? Newsflash – seals are vicious, mean predators. Their teeth can rip you apart. They eat crabs, squid, and even baby sharks. They’re not nice, cuddly creatures.

And then the dumbest comment of them all……

I’d love to feed this guy to a shark. Admit it – he looks delicious.

Where do they go? They don’t go anywhere. Because we kill them. Of course they can’t go to Canada. Guess why? Because Canada is one of the only countries left in the world that still is smart enough to control their seal populations.

Canadian and Norwegian fishermen enjoy making an honest living, and don’t like it when these ocean bandits steal all their product. Look at the countries that allow it – Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Canada. Ya know what all those countries have in common? Those are the countries that liberals are always telling me we should aspire to be. Except for this issue apparently, in which we use a completely unregulated laissez-faire approach and see what happens.

The reason we can’t kill seals was because of the 1982 Marine Mammal Protection Act:

The U.S. Marine Mammal Protection Act (MMPA) protects all marine mammals, including cetaceans (whales, dolphins, and porpoises), pinnipeds (seals and sea lions), sirenians (manatees and dugongs), sea otters, and polar bears within the waters of the United States.

Keep in mind, when this law was passed in 1982 it was during the heart of the environmental era. Three Mile Island had just happened, people were protesting the Love Canal, and whale populations were diminishing. I understand why they would want to protect marine life – because allowing unregulated hunting would eventually wipe them out. So it’s really simple – the government acts responsibly, using their brains, and allows hunting when populations become too large, and then disallows hunting when they become too small. It’s really not that hard to figure out.

Or just keep letting people get eaten by sharks, watch as tourism on the Cape disappears, and fisherman and Cape business owners go out of business. Whatever makes you feel good. Because that’s what really matters – your virtue signaling feelings on Facebook.

The bottom line is that the MMPA is a federal law, so Massachusetts does not have the ability to allow seal hunting. It has to be done by congress. So if you want some type of law that amends the MMPA to allow for responsible culling of the seal population, then contact your congressman. Three of them basically control Massachusetts’ entire coastline. Bill Keating represents everything from Westport to Cape Cod to Marshfield, Seth Moulton the entire coast from Nahant to Salisbury, and Steven Lynch has everything from Boston to Scituate. Rhode Island, New Hampshire and Maine don’t have a problem yet, but they will someday. If you wanna see change just call these people up and voice your concerns. If Keating wants to propose legislation that helps control their population it’s going to pass. Know why? Because the congressman from Nebraska doesn’t give a shit. He’ll offer to vote yes on this bill if Keating votes yes on the farm subsidy. Because that’s how shit gets done in Washington – you do favors and vote yes on bills that you don’t give a shit about so that other congressmen return the favor to you.

Or just surrender the ocean because the seals want it. Because that’s Americans do – we surrender to marine life.

17 Comment(s)
  • Quint
    September 21, 2018 at 1:19 pm

    Seals are not endangered and do not need protection. They have taken a large amount of fish that would otherwise be useful for human consumption. F*** fishing regulations and f*** the seals too.

  • CE
    September 18, 2018 at 7:52 pm

    Seals are the deer and wild turkey (not the bourbon) of the ocean. It should be open season on deer, turkey and seal until the population is under control. Add canadian geese to that list as well.

  • Jack Straw from Wichita
    September 18, 2018 at 10:04 am

    Ha ha! Yeah, you stupid marine animals! Respect our International waters 12 mile limit!

    Dumbest commentary ever.

    Obviously the seals don’t need protection, but going on a Jihad against seals and sharks because you can’t go body surfing on the Cape isn’t the answer either.

    Your analogy of not settling past 495 is flawed, as you’re a land animal and not a sea critter, Sponge Bob.

  • Mr. Obvious
    September 18, 2018 at 8:09 am

    This just in. In lieu of more expensive options on shark identification/deterrents the Cape Cod National Seashore has opted to continue to rely on signage to ‘educate” the public on shark risks. Probability of another human death due to shark = 100%…

  • Stunt Penis
    September 18, 2018 at 7:22 am

    Looking at the photo at the top of this blog entry… are those seals, or New Bedford Fupasloths in their one-piece bathing suits sunning themselves on the beach? I can’t tell the difference.

  • Henry Fool
    September 18, 2018 at 5:43 am

    In the meantime they will completely drive fishermen out of business…

    Too late, 1970’s technology, along with the State and Federal government, have seen to that. In the meantime, humans wish to impose some sort of biblical notion that we are apart from animals (see many videos on this site as proof of such arrogance.) Leave it to Nature and expect humans to be responsible for their informed actions.

  • Jojo
    September 17, 2018 at 11:39 pm

    There were enough fat useless mammals on the beach before the seals showed up. If you’re dumb enough to get in the water, with the seals, on Cape Cod, where Jaws was filmed, knowing sharks eat seals, then you deserve to have Darwin show up. Oh, and Fuck your feelings!

    • Gleno
      September 18, 2018 at 1:46 pm

      Mr. Fool:
      The “biblical notion” of animals is the rulership and management of animals. We are not like them. We were not intended to be like them. We were intended to manage and “subdue” them.
      If anything, the “biblical notion” of what to do next is to reduce their numbers to manageable sizes.

  • dolphin lundgren
    September 17, 2018 at 8:44 pm

    Whale, whale, whale, this all seems a bit fishy. Really, whats the porpoise? The haters are just squid diddlers.
    One otter thing…feed the mudsharks to the great white sharks since no other whites want them.

    ncfoothillbilly aka fishmael

    • Fred Knessl
      September 17, 2018 at 9:10 pm

      That was fucking Funny!!!

    • Pout pout fish
      September 18, 2018 at 9:08 pm

      Frankly scallop, I don’t give a clam. I octopus your face in.

      • ncfoothillbilly
        September 19, 2018 at 3:34 pm

        Thanks for parcipitating; your trophy is incoming.

        • imadummyinnc
          September 19, 2018 at 4:03 pm

          *participating

  • Mirror Mirror
    September 17, 2018 at 7:39 pm

    I don’t know what’s worse. These tiresome blogs on seals and sharks or the idiotic series with that cat lady cafe. JFC get some better material.

  • Rockets Redglare
    September 17, 2018 at 7:36 pm

    ” Watch as tourism on the Cape disappears “. Living here I say fuck yeah…

    • Hughbo Mont
      September 18, 2018 at 1:54 pm

      If more people get eaten up, I might just have to come down to see the action.

  • Uncle Joe
    September 17, 2018 at 7:29 pm

    When we gonna start getting these shark attacks on video? Chomp chomp, motherfuckers.

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
This Truck Driver Was Really, Really Pissed About The 65 Car Accident Pile Up On 290 In Worcester.
Chinese Guy Jumps Seven Floors To His Death To Get Out Of Shopping With Girlfriend
South African Dude Who Pretended To Sign Language Obama’s Nelson Mandela Speech Is Apparently An Insane Murdering Rapist?