Hoodrat Heroes

Eddie Porkchops’ Brother Sirloin Stevie Owns A Painting Company In Whitman And Is The Most Glorious Masshole You Will Ever See

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We all know disgraced former Rockland Selectman Eddie Porkchops (also known by his Christian name Ed Kimball) is a hot grizzled meatball.

But wait till you see his brother Steve.

He’s the owner of Kimball Painting LLC in Whitman. And he’s everyting you dreamed he would be and more. He makes tons of videos on the job. Mostly it’s just him publicly humiliating his employees while they’re attempting to work….

“You need a fucking belt too. You’re not a fucking wigga.”

“It looks like you’re struggling like a fucking motha fucka.”

“See how it’s sagging down like your girlfriend’s tits.”

“Hellen fucking Kellah could see it behind you.”

“I’m just recording this so I could look at it later and laugh.”

“It’s like sticking your dick in your girlfriend. It’s not gonna fit if you stick it in her rear.”

I’m not even offended by any of that. If he’s actively providing jobs to people and they don’t mind doing it, then that’s a good thing. I’m just blown away the glory of his Massholeness. He is the greatest Masshole these eyes have ever seen…..

“I got bald spots in the cock sucka. And two days in a row I spilt my fucking cahhhffee. But I’m alive, so fuck it.”

They need to hire this guy to be an extra in every Boston movie ever.

In case you didn’t know, Kimball Painting LLC is known for quality fucking work:

“I’m known for quality fucking work. And anyone who doesn’t like that can go fuck themselves. And the people who come to work for me and cry like little bitches, all you’re doing buddy is you’re losing out on learning.”

I’m not even mad at this guy. I could listen to him talk about painting all day long. The bottom line is I totally get where Eddie Porkchops gets it from now. It makes complete sense why he refused to resign after tossing Bobbin for Boners the spam javelin and attempting to frame the town manager. Because when you grow up around a cock sucka like Sirloin Stevie you don’t take no shit from nobody!!

30 Comment(s)
  • lisa flood
    August 6, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    this guy !!! I really hope he went to Boston yesterday to be an extra in Mark Walbergs next movie, . They were looking for Boston tough guys , mob guys, fishermen from Quincy, construction workers .and bkue collar guys !!!Love to see this MASSHOKE MAKE US PROUD

    • meth heads stick together
      August 7, 2018 at 8:18 pm

      I hope he od’s and falls off a latter.

  • sdfgsdfgsdfg
    August 6, 2018 at 4:23 am

    This guy should actually be getting some appreciation for doing good work and taking pride in it, and hiring randos and teaching them a trade. We need more guys like this, old school profane hardworkers.

  • TheBigOldDog
    Porkshops and apple sauce
    August 4, 2018 at 10:49 pm

    Porkchop owns Boston Builders. It’s designated as a “minority business Enterprise”. It’s a Union drywaller. Source: TheBlueBook.com

  • Rich A
    August 4, 2018 at 1:35 pm

    Massachusetts personified.

  • Sucky Me
    August 4, 2018 at 12:04 pm

    Dudes like him are representative of a large portion of Massachusetts that most of the country seems to forget exists. Just regular guys with small businesses and real jobs who completely disassociate themselves from Moonbats, welfare cheats and other local area weirdos. The type of people who will always help a neighbor and never be a jerk unless you were first.

    • Hostile Work Environment
      August 4, 2018 at 8:45 pm

      Get real, he is the king of weirdos, cheats and phonies, he even video tapes it and proudly posts it online. Fuck him he sucks shit. You are obviously his homie or bitch trying to cover his fat ass. Fuck him, he calls his employees independent contractors so he doesn’t have to pay taxes on them and abuses his employees these videos should win all his employees a large legal settlement for workplace harassment. He is a disgusting human being, he can go deep throat Harley exhaust pipes.

  • Stevie’s Lawyer
    August 4, 2018 at 9:59 am

    His LLC needs to be investigated. I a, almost certain there’s money laundering, tax evasion, and unreported income to the Mass DOR. Sick the tax man on this asshole, I’m sure shady shit is going on with his business.

  • Y
    August 4, 2018 at 3:06 am

    Dude’s all about young kids on his fb profile, maybe his sharing is altruistic, maybe he’s a perve.
    Regardless, he’s a trainwreck.
    Would hire him, though.

  • Rufus Le King
    August 3, 2018 at 10:36 pm

    Shitty tatt sleeves and a Harley tee shirt. Yup, that’s who I want in my house.

  • Derp
    August 3, 2018 at 8:32 pm

    Nothing worse than the ones who live here pulling the phony Boston accent.

  • ben dennis
    August 3, 2018 at 7:46 pm


  • Loser
    August 3, 2018 at 7:31 pm

    All the tattoos, motorcycle shit and wise-guy bathroom jokes in the world won’t make him important. This man isn’t entertaining or even interesting he is a bloody bowel movement on the sidewalk of life you step around him and forget him.

    • Out on two and lovin' life
      August 4, 2018 at 12:36 am

      Spoken like a truly jealous person who wished they had a bike, any bike, to ride. Instead you got the family minivan or a Prius that you drive to Starbux for your triple frothy cocksmoker chickenchoker uber grande latte.
      Most of us who ride don’t make foolish fahk fahk fahk videos but we do enjoy the attention your girlfriends give us.
      That South Park episode was a total riot. We all know someone like that but we’re not all that way.
      Ask your old lady, she’ll tell you. Or maybe she won’t. Either way, she knows.

      • Wealthy Banker
        August 4, 2018 at 8:31 am

        Spoken like a truly insecure person whose identity is a vehicle. Keep believing your fantasy of the romantic biker with a beer belly laying on the fuel tank. Don’t forget to buy plenty of name brand merchandise and upgrades for your bike the dealerships and manufacturers and stock holders appreciate your business.

  • whatevuh
    August 3, 2018 at 6:38 pm

    I used to have a boss like that, dam good thing I needed that job, or I would thrown the little bastard against the wall and beat the fuck out of him, and enjoyed my court appearance and small jail sentence . . . and I told him he was fortunate, after I got laid off. Small penis men piss me off.

  • z
    August 3, 2018 at 6:17 pm

    You know he’d fit in here. Pretty sure his brother EP wouldn’t, even if all that didn’t go down.

    He’s trying too hard with the tattoos. Also, too old for car selfies.

    “You need a fucking belt too. You’re not a fucking wigga.”
    Words to live by. Could be a life coach if he gave up painting.

    • IHateRatchets
      August 3, 2018 at 8:40 pm

      Being a life coach doesn’t seem like a hard job. All you need is common sense. Sadly most people these days are lacking that.

  • Lou P
    Lou P
    August 3, 2018 at 6:08 pm

    Making Ma Kimball proud ….. NOT.
    No class with the Kimball clan.

  • Stunt Penis
    August 3, 2018 at 5:47 pm

    I have to get me one of those google it t-shirts. Priceless.

    • z
      August 3, 2018 at 6:06 pm

      yeah, cool shirt.

  • Leonard Washington
    August 3, 2018 at 5:07 pm

    I can’t look away. I could listen to this guy all day long. I haven’t been this mesmerized since the first time I saw Edith Massey.

  • Right Said Fred
    August 3, 2018 at 4:24 pm

    I’m to sexy for my shirt, too sexy for shirt
    Fahken cahk suckah

  • Steve 'The Man'
    August 3, 2018 at 4:01 pm

    But I was “the man” back in high school. Since my life has gone south since then, I re-create my careteria bullying on my employees since they need the job. My 85 IROC is still mint and its summer so you know what that means? T-Tops off..crusing Nantasket in my acid washed jorts and best mesh half shirt looking for washed up Poison groupies. Wish I still could grow that sweet mullett!

  • Frank Rizzo
    August 3, 2018 at 3:59 pm


  • John Wypyszinski
    Herr Doktor
    August 3, 2018 at 3:30 pm

    Which one is the smart one? They both seem like a prize winning pair of dim bulbs sharing a brain, trouble is I think it got lost… Guys fat and stupid is no way to go through life, neither is being a stupid cock sucka…

  • Wouldn't date him if he was the last guy on Earth
    August 3, 2018 at 3:29 pm

    This is the kind of guy who swears loudly in restaurants in the presence of children and everyone around asks to be seated away from him. He thinks it makes him a man.
    This is the kind of guy who trash talks women, even though he’s ugly as a baboon’s ass. He thinks it makes him a man.
    This is the kind of guy who constantly blips the throttle on his bike, especially at red lights, just to get attention. He thinks it makes him a man.
    Everything about this jerk screams “look at me!!! I have low self-esteem and I act out to feel like a hardo!!”

  • Walter "Tweety" Bird
    August 3, 2018 at 3:28 pm

    If this guy had a real set of raisins he would come out of the closet.

    • Fo Sho
      Not wid my dick
      August 3, 2018 at 8:52 pm

      The size 6 1/2 sneakers area dead giveaway aren’t they………

  • Spunky
    August 3, 2018 at 3:09 pm

    “YOU KNOW”….What puke!

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