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I’m currently scream laughing as I type this. My dog is frightened. It’s worth it because…
Translation: “I have to quit because not only am I going to be recalled anyway, but my wife is getting wicked bummed out by Turtleboy reminding my wife that I’m a fat, cheating bastard every single time I do ANYTHING.”
The resemblance is uncanny.
Good, Rockland deserves better than these push push for perks counselors. It’s like an old school swingers’ key party up in Town Hall. I am saddened that this will probably be the last time we’ll get to poke fun at this Pillsbury stunt double, though. I’ll never not laugh at the “after David” video. Never.
Oh, my sides! Well, so long, farewell…Deirdre’s vag looks like a stairwell.
Ya know how he mentions the “amazing amount of stress” on his family like that’s something that was caused via no fault of his own? That pisses me off to no end. Bruh, you were banging the Town Hall pass around. You did this. Don’t act like you’re a friggin’ victim here. No one is a victim except for the families who are affected by wandering hog syndrome. The “tremendous turmoil” in town was caused by your, and other’s, trouser snakes. The whole damn thing reads as if that didn’t happen. A+ exit speech, Eddie.
I’m really going to miss the drama coming out of Rockland with the whole Bobbin For Boners tale, it was fantastic theater. The twists and turns, the purple hooded dragon slobber, the AFTER DAVIDS. Here’s hoping that Rockland gets better town government, but also that the next batch is equally as hysterical.
Manchesterturtlette@gmail.com
Esther Manch on the book, baby.
11 Comment(s)
I’d give her a solid pistoning in the poop tube, sending pics of the resulting drippy creampie on her phone to her old man.
I bet she likes to get tied up and prone boned.
How mentally ill do you have to be to write a letter like that? This town is seriously screwed. Town hall is a freak show and now I have a good idea why. Sick bastards like these 3 were running it like their own little High School clique.
Rockland has one of the highest property tax rates in the entire Commonwealth. It is significantly higher than every neighboring town and yet, rates no better, and often much worse, in important categories like Schools, crime and public works. It took this scandal for some of us to realize the Town Administrator was looking for a $30K/yr increase and was going to get it despite a piss poor attitude and acting as if the residence worked for him, rather than the other way around. It seems like we still have more shoes to drop with the town accountant on paid leave and other violations not related to the sex scandal by the Town Admin. It’s time for residence to wake up and take back this town and find out where all the money is going. Let’s cancel all contracts, fire everyone and start over from scratch!
Local government is the best government. But sometimes you get these kinds of reprobates.
On the bright side, at least Eddie Porkchops and Bobbin did not produce a child. It would probably have become a future governor of Massachusetts. Gross.
Is Eddie Porkchops considered a ratchet?
Because if he is, he’s in the running for ratchet of the year. Worse than her.
Shame is the best weapon especially when someone doubles or triples down. I kind of let initial coverups slide, that’s just human nature.
It’s unfortunate life isn’t like a foul in the NBA. Buzzer buzzes, player raises their hand to say “Yeah, you got me”. The game moves on. I know this isn’t the NBA but I guess he did think that you can be a dick without repercussions. This can’t be his first rodeo and it must of worked before.
100% Ratchet
Another shoe in town is about to drop!
Come on Eddie…how about all the stress you put on Bobbin for Boners smelly freckle. I am sure you had that shit hole looking up at you as you played Farmer Brown …Plowing that dirt patch and planting your seed deep in that muddy furrow. What did you expect to grow?? Respect? I do have a serious question…have you ever thought of working at Necco as a fudge packer?
To late for Necco, it’s gone.
A huge, loud shout out for the TurtleboySports blog. If it wasn’t for this blog, the spotlight would never have been shined as brightly as it did on the shenanigans in Rockland. You kept the heat on and published the unvarnished truth.
No other media has covered this small town spectacle and given it its due. As a result, Eddie PorkChops and Bobbin’ are history; perhaps they can make their family a priority, as they should have been all along.
Meanwhile, we will all keep riding the Turtle.