Politics WTF

Washed Up NBA Players Make Terrible Life Decision Following Dennis Rodman to North Korea for Kim Jong Un Birthday Party

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So apparently Dennis Rodman has gone full dictator mode and is completely f***ing up American foreign policy. For whatever reason he’s become BFF’s with everyone’s favorite dictator Kim Jong Un, and being that it’s his 31st birthday, Rodman put a crew of NBA has beens together to play a friendly with the North Korean national team.

But what about North Korea’s well documented human rights violations? Well a CNN reporter asked Dennis Rodman about that, and things got a little bit testy….

It’s safe to say that the State Department would’ve been much better off sending Forrest Gump over there for some pingpong.

I think the question we all want to know is, how is Vin Baker going to get his shots in a country that doesn’t let you drink alcohol? Watching Chuck Smith, Doug Christie, Cliff Robinson, Kenny Anderson and the rest of those schmucks realize on national TV that they just made a really bad life choice was painful to watch. You know what sounds like a really bad idea? Going to North Korea. You know what sounds like a worse idea? Having Dennis Rodman lead you anywhere.

And since when is CNN broadcasting the WWE? I mean, I know Dennis Rodman isn’t exactly known for being a rational or smart human being, but that looked like the Macho Man Randy Savage detailing what he’s gonna do to the Ultimate Warrior.

If I’m the U.S. team, I’d probably throw this game on purpose. What with the whole “feeding your uncle to hungry dogs” thing that Kim just pulled. Either way, someone’s going to lose this game and will probably end up in a work camp for the rest of eternity.

 

Look, we all know that Dennis Rodman is a complete moron. But like, is it even possible to be this dumb? I mean, the fact that a grown man can say about the world’s most notorious dictator, that Kim is his “friend for life,” and is “trying to change this country in a great way” led me to believe that Rodman has gone full…..never mind.

kim-jong-and-dennis-rodman_o_1180798

But seriously, he can’t possibly mean that – right? I mean hundreds of thousands of people spend their entire lives in North Korean labor camps if their grandparent tried to taste the sweet delicious freedom of South Korea. They’ve got no food, their national anthem is filled with lyrics about Kim making the stars and the moon, and they think they can nuke San Francisco even though they haven’t figured out how to use a rocket. And Rodman thinks he can just fix all this with a game of hoops? Gotta give it Rodman I guess. John Kerry and Hillary Clinton have been trying to deal with this madman for years with stupid crap like diplomacy and sanctions. Turns out all you have to do is just tell him happy birthday and introduce him to Kenny Anderson.

Worst case scenario Rodman turns into a traitor and the rest of the poor idiots that went along with him are all put into labor camps. Best case scenario North Korea keeps Dennis Rodman and he can see how awesome North Korea the first time he has a disagreement with his new friend.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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4 Comment(s)
  • June 4, 2014 at 1:25 am

    Make sure to ask what the family likes, kids included.
    There are numerous concepts and themes that will make the shower an exceptional event.
    Its the perfect theme for expectant mothers of twins.

  • Joey G
    January 8, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    This crew can get alcohol in North Korea. Kim’s father was rumored to have ones of the most expensive collections of French Cognac in the known world. If anyone will be allowed to drink, it is Vin Baker. I assume that either Kenny Anderson or Clifford Robinson is being used as a mole to infiltrate North Korea, I heard that the State Department talked to Bill Belichick about spying last week, this is probably what it was all about.

  • StePHen
    January 8, 2014 at 10:01 am

    Hahahaha, the very first thing I thought of was Macho Man doing an interview back in the WWF days!!! Lol, I was planning on commenting about that, and I laughed out loud when I read it in your article!!

  • Dave P
    January 8, 2014 at 9:39 am

    I don’t know why we pay writers in Hollywood to make shit up anymore. Rodman is good for some light entertainment, but I’d really like to see Mike Tyson go to North Korea. Now that would be fun.

    Also, it’s nice to see a Sox hat in Pyongyang.

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